It's neurosis at its most neurotic!
|Whenever I feel enlightenment,the shadows chase me ever further.The days of pure illumnation when tracks and footprints show the way are gone.Even in those dark hours when clarity of thought flashes on and off like a glowing fish in the deep depths of my oceanic mind,in translucence and transparence,it only becomes vain mastery of my mental quest for truth.The next day I am yet again adrift in a sea of nihilism,and confusion ever reigns in glowing medallions and ruby gems
On my best days,when I am wholly devoid of bubonic turmoils of the mind,the most peculiar of events occurs.I am plagued from without,haunted,jeered..sneered.Yesterday two ravens or rooks whichever is preferential,trailed me.Their thick unkept brows concealing their ill motivations.This fine dawn,i found them yet again waiting patiently as I left the house.They relieved themselves from the sky and then that afternoon it was the same.This does not sound as though evoked from a sane person's musings.Although I've almost always had an innate suspicion of all of life,it was only ever healthy paranoia!Is it so healthy and well if crows seem to despise you?
If humans do so then so be it,but the sardonic raven?Aye!these creatures of God's earth!I am at the top of the hierarchy and am harrassed and bullied by an absolute inferior?Some trace amount of self respect would be left if it were a lion or an ape that wished me harm but a crow?A lion king of the jungle.A rook king of the wire lines.And yet these birds always did pass judgement.These dark birds discern and coerce each creeping pair of us humans on the cobble stones of our towns.Though we never much complied with their unspoken claims and requests.
How they envy us so?When they only ever get to live in the monarchy of aerial creatures.Spending all their days ingratiating with hawk and hen while shadows of arrogance they lord over brown and blue bird.
And they see us,if they could would weep,but instead they attack from the air targeting bemused innocents like me.I do not like crows any longer.How they sense my serenity and absolute peace and try with all their might,frantic flaps of tarred seeming feathers to disrupt my day!And despite the journey,despite the days ahead to face I won't allow it...............(unfinished)