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by Joe07a
Rated: 18+ · Monologue · Comedy · #1323992
My twisted love of the meatball classic with american cheese
                                      The Meatball Classic With Cheese

Thursday was the worst day of the week so far. The phone rang endlessly at work and several issues had me drained and aggravated by the end of the day. I was walking home from work and happened to pass by one of my several local watering holes. I've been trying to watch what I eat lately and have cut out drinking during the week. This day was pretty bad so I decided to allow myself a drink or two before going home to the usual healthy dinner and workout regimen. My drink of choice is vodka and club soda with a wedge of lemon. That's right a wedge of lemon not lime. I like the tartness of the lemon with my vodka and will send a drink back if it has one of those nasty limes in it.

Unfortunately for me those first two drinks went down a little too easily. I happened to know the bartender which didnt help my healthy life style. "OHH" he says "You have to try these new shots that I created". So I ended up on that barstool for almost six hours drinking vodka and various shots. I finally got my ass out of the bar and staggered into the humid city night.

My vision was a little blurred from the booze but there was no mistaking that growl coming from my bloated stomach. It caught my attention like a beacon in the night. There it was .. a WAWA. I tried to look away but I couldn't. It called to me like that same siren's song that had doomed many a sailor through the centuries. I stumbled through the doors and made my way up to the self order placement system. I couldn't stop ..it was like I was possessed with a hunger for saturated fat. I ordered my Meatball classic with cheese and quickly paid for my sandwhich without making eye contact with the all knowing sales clerk.

I plunged out into the night with my sandwhich cradled in my arms like a new born. Well.. a new born made of tasty beef, sauce, cheese and a kaiser roll. I started walking home while greedily unwrapping my sandwhich and I think that I may have been talking to myself as well. I'm not sure about that part though. Then it happened... the unthinkable. In my rush to enjoy this wonderful salty treat I got careless and one of the precious meatballs slipped from the roll and landed on the sidewalk with a wet SMACK. I was devasted and just for a second I thought "no one is looking..im gonna pick that damn meatball up and put back into its rightful place".. I didnt do it though,  some how through my alcohol induced fog the following message came through from my subconsious self: "Don't eat off of the fucking sidewalk you asshole!" Point taken.

I left the stranded meatball where it lay and silently mourned its loss. I re-wrapped my sandwich and hurried the rest of the way home. I shouldered open my apartment door and quickly hurried into my kitchen to inhale this sandwhich from heaven. This first bite was so wonderuf that it made my testicles tingle and my feet go numb. I pushed aside the feelings of guilt and self loathing  for breaking my healthy diet and gorged on my sauce covered sandwhich.

I don't really remember eathing the rest of the sandwhich. I woke up about four and a half hours later  laying behind my sofa with my pants around my ankles, dried tomato sauce on my face and semen in my underwear. What's the point of this story you ask? There is no point. I'm just saying that the Meatball classic with cheese from WAWA is a good fucking sandwhich that's all.

the end

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