Midnight Journey

My thoughts and feelings on deployment

Many a sleepless night
My mind often wanders
Through the dark waters
Which slowly fill my heart and soul
Never knowing where I am going
God only knows where I’ve been
Constantly fighting, constantly changing
Trying to do what it is that asked of me
Never sure of myself
Never sure of these feelings inside
I try time and time again,
But there’s always something in the way
Bringing me back again
To that same desolate feeling
The one that eats at me inside
Why can’t I just push it away?
Why am I not strong enough?
Like Ulysses, thrown across the sea
Constantly searching for that one place
Home, often a distant thought
The one that drifts in the back of my mind
Seeing you there waiting,
Arms open, smile shining across the way
Instead there you are
Down upon your knees
Once again I have let you down
Once again you’re left with your tears
And here I am, slowly breaking down
My mind full with all of your fears.