This is a basing of catcher in the rye
|P.S I am a rebellious teenager
By now I am like what, I did not know really, and I quite frankly, I do not care, you will though, I went to school as my usual, as my dull boring self, when suddenly there he was Mr. Bowford, standing with his top button undone and his tie all over the place. I am one of the bigger kids in my year, and I am very funny if I do say so myself, I could make you laugh and what not, but that’s me I like to be the entertainer, you know kind of like a class clown if you wish to say so.
I was sitting on the forth isle of my roe in the third seat, as I left class the fire drill was called and by now I was already not in the mood, to go anywhere which involved me and walking, I am a lazy cunt and I am fair well proud of it, that is being lazy not the cunt part, I hate being insulted as you know we all do its like a, I do not know a feeling or urge not a corny urge a normal urge like seeing your country win the world cup, that sort of urge.
By November of 2007 I was already failing Maths and French I was a complete failure they do not interest me at all, I love to work on projects, such as things like trains or cars, you know what I mean, but today I was very depressed you know that feeling, we all know it, you do and I do, however that does not matter, Kate what’s her face asked me out, I rejected her, unfortunately she did not know I was gay, it may not occur to you but I am.
It was not an ordinary day Mr. Bowford was at his usual spot, but he stopped me and said, Shane, am I correct, my reply was delayed, I was to interested in my date, Carl Strom, you would like him I can tell, Mr. Bowford said can I have a word, I said yes but in a hurried tone, he said come on, what is the matter sir? I asked kindly, Miss. Rice won’t talk to me, your good with girls aren’t you, My hesitation did not seem to get me my usual response, he said yet again begging me to help him, I do not even find girls at all nice so how was I meant to help a 45 year old loony who was asking me for advice on girls, I thick you should, ask her out sir, and see her response just not here, do it in your on time, you know what I mean sir. Yes
As the small silence came to a close, I was happy, not corny happy, happy as in, you just got the year off school happy, just as corny as that last remark was I left his office. Hoping my advice was helping him, later my plans would soon go astray where and when, and I did not even now just. Mr. Bowford is not a hit with the Ladies, he could get one, but he is to much of a nice guy to actually knock her out, I say he is a Virgin, I do not know, do not hell me to that remark, I may regret it some day of some time.
As my teacher Mr. Reese went in for a double snob lesson of C.S.P.E, I did not find his lecture’s to be the most exciting if you know what I mean and I know you do.
The guy who I was waiting for, you know Carl, the one I said you would like, he did not show, yes did not show for our date, typical, he is always like this I had to get my hair done, my bus was late blah, blah, blah. I can say men, who are gay, are just as bad as women, no offence it is true though. As a gay guy, I get insulted a lot, so I hate a lot of people in my school. I am doing my leaving cert, and if I do not study I will be sent back a year, the dread of it, I hate the thought of being in that year again, I have a goal. To be a doctor, it means work, and I am willing to do my hardest, you know like other kids.
I wish to be the most successful person in my class, the slacker who became a doctor, it means work as in study, and you will find inner serenity, my religion teacher said that to me, she is odd, or can I say Bitch, she was a hoer you know, tramp a, fuck buddy she was your average slut, and not corny slut, blonde hair, blue eyes, etc. She was just a slut, I did not ever like her, lads in my class would say, these dirty remarks as in, I would ride that. Most replied, I was so shocked, women are not objects, and they have rights you perverts, you know a pervert when you look at any other guy in my class, except for me and that Canadian kid, he is very funny, and talented, he is an intelligent version of me!
It was a Friday morning, hoping to see a triumphant Mr. Bowford in his usual place, however he was not their, I was worried is he okay or what, dam I felt bad he is out with a broken heart, I knew it he is dead, Miss. Rice was also not in my suspicion was turning me inside out, not a good inside out, that feeling in your gut when you know you have to go to school, that feeling.
The announcements were the ones you would usually hear on Friday, no leaving school early etc. But my brain was sending me mixed messages, he is dead, or he is going to kill himself, this was to much I left school at lunch time, I was to focused, on finding Mr. Bowford, maybe I have feelings towards him, I do not know, it would explain a lot.
However I did not succeed, my quest lead me to his little house, I gulped thinking, all of those thoughts again when Miss. Rice answered the door my heart leaped from my mouth to my toes, a weird and accompanied feeling of remorse, not corny remorse, just your average remorse.
Miss. Rice stared at me and called Mr. Bowford, the messy mess came out to me, his hair all over the place, his body bruised, he looked like he was in pain, maybe he should of killed himself.
I know weird right that is me, I am strange.
It was the day of my first ever soccer match, you know I was kind of nervous, not corny nervous normal nervous, however at the end of the tunnel stood, Mr. Bowford, he said oh my god, it was excellent Shane, thank you for your advice, your welcome, but before he could say anything else I kissed him, yes, I kissed Mr. Bowford right on his lips, I was kind of enjoying it.
Until, bang, so, James Bowford, oh shit, Miss Rice had just caught me kissing her boyfriend, the teacher looked at me, stay away from him, your always eyeing him up, I knew that was true but I came out I said it, I love you Mr. Bowford.
That comment did not come out right, I, I, Miss Rice said to me if you come near him again, you will be sorry, mark my words, Mr Mernagh, you will be sorry, you came across me. Mr. Bowford turned and then walked away, as I walked onto the pitch, I just could not help it, I was stating to cry, yes a big lad like me crying, never you heard me say it, I just ran back, and cried, my little eyes out.
Again I would like to see you handle being rejected, by your teacher. Age, what is it? I feel if you love them you should tell them, now that, I had finally told James, my secret, I felt a weight had been lifted, but replaced, with a much heaver one, one that may never go away that sort of weight.
By now Mr. Bowford was still ignoring me although, now on else knew I had kissed him, I certainly felt that everyone did know, and that Miss Rice has rated me out to the principal. By the time I had reached the class, I fainted, my friend Bill Chirterson, helped me to the back gate and he gave me a cigarette, I knew he would always be their as he was, my first ever, man friend, he had, well a fetish, not a corny fetish like bondage, foot fetish was his game, he loved it.
This was, not the problem he turned to me a said are you okay, all I could say is, I owe you, he will keep me to that I know it, if you said I would die for you, he would hell you to it. He is nice we are into poetry I love William Wordsworth. He is my idol, you know not a corny idol, he is just my idol, then at the back gate, their he stood his shirt ripped, again, his top button undone, and his tie broken, his face was bloody, but their he stood, I sat up a said slowly Mr. Bowford, he said Shane, I think I am in love with you.
Hold it, my love for Mr. Bowford had gone wrong, I hear you said I was a virgin, No! I did not say that I love you, just as a friend, I griped Bill and kissed him.