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Printed from https://www.writing.com/main/view_item/item_id/1341582-Beware-Dating-Can-Be-Dangerous
by FraniE
Rated: 13+ · Short Story · Comedy · #1341582
A lesson everyone should learn before they choose internet dating or even a blind date.
Beware: Dating Can Be Dangerous

Henrietta Jones, that’s me. I’m 29 years old and I weigh 250 pounds and I’m happy. Why am I happy you ask? I have a great job. I work from home trying to help lonely singles meet other lonely singles. The great part is I never have to get dressed to go to work, I never have to worry about how I look and I never have to worry about traffic or getting to work on time.

I work for a local internet company. People join the website and create their own profiles. My job is to pick through these profiles and hopefully match these people with other unhappy and lonely single who can’t seem to meet anyone. Most of the people that join this site complain about the bar scene and how they do not feel comfortable in a place with so much competition and so many women who are out there trying to meet men. The main purpose of this site is to help women and men who are overweight and have trouble meeting people at work or at other places meet their perfect match.

Most of the people are hard working people who are trying to find their soul mate without having to go out there and risk rejection and the superficial climate that many of the singles events have. I, Henrietta Jones have a mission in life to help these people find their perfect match.

Since I work from home I can get dressed in my favorite pajamas, floppy slippers and not have to wear makeup or do my hair. I guess this job has some perks.

It is time to get started. Let me log on to my website at www.getyourselfhitched.com and see who I can help take out of the taking slump today.

First ,we have Sarah Joe a 35 year old secretary who wants to me a guy between 30 and 40 years old with no children and who enjoys traveling the world. She likes hiking, boating and outdoor sports. The only problem with Sarah is she weighs over 200 pounds and complains that she really can’t do these things for a long period of time. Looking further into her profile I see that she also likes reading romance novels, watching reality shows on television and talking on the phone with her friends. Now, we have Sidney, a 45 year old postal worker. He is tall, not bad looking and likes all types of women. We’ll, that’s hopeful I guess.
Sidney enjoys reading adventure novels, watching reality shows on television and flying his small jet plane. He has a home on Martha’s Vineyard and another small cottage for weekends in the country. Sidney has been a postal worker for over 25 years and hoped to meet someone on his route, but did not. He likes Italian food, loves eating pizza and thinks dieting is for other people. He enjoys his food and feels that you go around only once and being on a diet cheats you from experiencing and enjoying all types of food and good wines. Sarah Joe also enjoys eating Italian food but really wants to cut down on her pizza and cake in order to try and lose some weight. But, I think I will try and match them anyway.

I e-mailed Sarah Joe asking her permission to send her profile to Sidney and I e-mailed him with a brief description of Sarah Joe to ask if he would be interested. They both replied that they would like to read the other’s profile and make a decision from there. I sent them the information and hopefully they will decide to meet and go from there.

Next, we have Danny B who is out of work for medical reasons and really wants to get back into the dating scene. He had an accident on the job and injured his back. He has been going to physical therapy and is starting to feel better and would like to meet someone who enjoys stay at home dinners, walking in the park and reading in front of a fire. He also likes eating fried foods, pizza and prefers eating at home rather than going out. He likes to cook and does not mind doing the cooking as long as the other person helps with cleanup. He likes watching sports on television, especially football and belonged to a bowling league before his accident. He likes to read the newspaper, mainly the sports section and does not have many other interests. He has never been married and wants to meet someone to start a relationship and see where it goes from there. He is 50 years old and pretty set in his ways. This is not going to be easy. He is not flexible in what he wants and prefers blondes that are in good shape, have a great career to take care of him so he does not have to work and preferably no children.

I searched my data base of names to try and come up with a match for him, but I could not find any blondes or anyone that wanted to support a man so that he does not have to work. Too bad, we will have to come back to him at another time.

I won’t match people just to get my fee and I won’t match people for the sake of matching them just to have a date. However, I will try to get him someone even if the criteria is not exactly what he wants, just maybe he will have to compromise. Looking at his picture I really can’t see why he is being so picky. He is 50 years old, with brown hair; he is husky in build and not very good looking at all. But, we cannot judge someone from their appearance only.

Well, it is about lunchtime and I think I will take a break. Since I am my own boss I can give myself as much time as I like to go to lunch. However, after reading Danny B’s profile I realize that maybe I need to make some changes about myself too. First, I think I will get dressed and make myself look better. I am going to out for lunch instead of eating pizza at my computer and trying to make more matches. Next, going to get my hair done might be wise too. Looking in the mirror I do not see a very pretty sight. Maybe, I need to join a dating site and have someone match me with my perfect mate. But, not right now.

Right now I had to think about how to make myself look better in order to help those people who needed my help in finding a great match. I began reflecting and remembering some of the blind dates that my mom and dad sort of forced me to go on. My Dad’s only criteria for the date were he was breathing, alive, had a lot of money and could take me anywhere that I wanted to go. This to me was bad news from the start. I still remember the first blind date with Ike. He was not very presentable in his torn jeans, sweatshirt, and uncombed hair that he wore in a ponytail and his old raggedy sneakers that needed washing. He worked in the diamond district and felt that since he wore a suit and tie all week on the weekends he needed a fashion break. I would hate to see what he wore just hanging around the house. I immediately decided that I would get a really bad stomach ache or tell him that I had an emergency and to leave to help a good friend who was ill. But, knowing my Dad, he would call me to find out the details and would be really upset if I ditched him before going out.

We meaning he enjoyed eating even more than I did and he decided to go the local pizzeria for dinner. How exciting was that. My Dad said that he was really rich, but I really don’t care about that, and that he would definitely take me to dinner and movie for sure. But, when he saw me I guess he thought that since I am overweight too, but I did look nice in a cute black dress and black pumps, that I would be more a pizza and spaghetti girl than a steak and potatoes.

The entire evening after that was a complete nightmare. He ordered 4 pizzas just for him and asked me if I wanted to share a salad and have one of his slices. What a real sport. He never bothered to ask me what I wanted and was totally rude to the waiter when he sent back the first pie because they did not put enough sausage on it.
At this point I could not imagine it getting any worse except that when he was done he burped about 25 times and made noises that were definitely not human. I decided that since I lived just 5 blocks away I would walk home.

Needless to say, I did not speak to my parents for an entire week after this date. Thinking that there was no way that I would ever get a man or even close a boyfriend they proceeded to introduce me to Fred who was even worse than Ike and looked really odd and strange. Next, those introduced me to Marvin who was really rich and owned diamond mines in Africa. I am only 29 years old and he was close to 60. But, he was rich.

From that point on I decided I would rather be alone and celibate for the rest of my life before going on another one of their great blind dates. This explains why I try to be really careful when matching my clients.

Let’s get back to me for now. I went to the hairdresser and got restyled and all glammed up. I don’t know for whom, but you never know. Walking home from the salon I decided that maybe some new clothes would help and I went into my favorite big size store and bought some new outfits and several pairs of shoes to match. I realized I was all dressed up and had no where to go and no one to go with. Working from home limits your social life and you social contacts. But, for right now I had to get back to work and I did. I walked into my building and was still daydreaming about my past nightmares and bumped into someone coming out of the elevator. Tall, thin and really good looking, I began to feel self-conscious knowing that I would never have a chance with him even though I had no idea if he was even married. I just put my head down and mumbled an apology when he burst out laughing. I could feel my face turning red and immediately got into the elevator and pressed my floor. Before the door would close he put his hand out and stopped it from closing. He just stared at me and said that it was his fault for not watching where he was going and he was sorry for bumping into me. Personally, I was not sorry to have a gorgeous man bump into me and then apologize for it.

Introducing himself as a friend of my next door neighbor who I did not even know, he asked if I would like to go out for coffee as his way easing out of an awkward meeting. Always telling people to never talk to strangers and never ever go out with someone that you really don’t know, I did not take my advice and I went anyway. How bad could he be and how dangerous is having coffee? I told him that I would meet him at the coffee shop at 6 after I was finished with work. I never told him that I worked from home.

I logged by on and was able to match Sidney with
A strawberry blonde named Candy and hoped he liked her. I also sent him 3 other names just in case he did not like Candy. He really should not be so choosey but men will be men when they think they are all Adonis.

After matching Sidney and 2 more clients with I hope the love of their lives, I got ready for my date with Mr. Gorgeous whose name I did not even know. I put on makeup and fixed my hair and wore something stylish, yet casual for our meeting. I left my apartment at 5:30 in order to get there a few minutes before him in order to freshen up before he arrived.

Let me tell you that when you decide to meet someone through internet or computer dating or a dating service you need to check out certain things beforehand. You need to know the person’s name and have at least one contact number for that person. If he will not give you his home phone after the first few dates you might realize he could be married. You should tell a friend about this date and make sure he or she knows where you will be and have your cell phone on at all times. You should also make sure that you meet in a public place to make sure there are other people around in case you need some help. Good advice, being that I match people for a living and try to let them know the pitfalls of this kind of dating; you would think that I would follow my own advice. I did not. This man did show up and he turned out to be a religious leader in a temple. You would think that this type of person would be respectful and have some kind of class and manners. To make a long story short, he had his hands all over me in the coffee shop and I had to push them away. He made obscene gestures when no one was looking and he followed me home even though I waited a good 20 minutes in the coffee shop. I thought he had gotten in his car to go home, but instead he parked it in front of my building and was waiting in the hallway when I opened the front door. Having no security or cameras in the building, I was an easy target for him when I entered by myself. He grabbed me from behind and started to rip at my shirt and my stockings. Fortunately, I have a loud voice and being big and weighing a lot more than he did, did not hurt. I lifted my left leg and kicked him so hard he was screaming like a little child. He tried again and again telling me I really wanted him and deserved what he wanted to do because I was a pathetic fat girl who needed to know that this was the only way I would get a man. I kicked him again and someone from my building heard me scream and he ran out the door before the police arrived.

I answered their questions but they said that since I had a date with him and was stupid enough to go out with someone that I did not know, it was wrong of him to attack me, but I could not prove it. I think my ripped clothes spoke for themselves. They took down the information and left telling me to call the next day for a case number and to lock my door.

I went inside, took a hot shower to get his smell off of me and put on my old raggedy slippers and my big warm rope and sat down and cried.

For anyone that has had a really bad experience dating you can understand that I felt violated and angry that no one thought that maybe this man was a sick guy and because of who he was they did not believe me. How could someone who is a religious leader do something like that? I am sure I was not the first one and I am positive I would not be the last.

I decided to place a warning on my website for all those who wanted to take a chance and use internet dating or even an introduction by a friend or family member for a date. Do you homework before going out on a date. Do not go alone. Try to have a friend and another male go with you for the first time. Have someone pick you up or meet you at a certain time wherever you go so that you do not leave alone and will not have the same problem that I did on this nightmarish experience. After all of this, I decided that maybe some of my parent’s dates were bad, but they were not dangerous.

Be careful out there. I will always promise to match my clients and try to learn as much about them as possible to be sure that the people I match have safe dates. Warning: Don’t do what I did. Know the person before hand and never go out with someone you bump into in an elevator and make sure that person really does have a friend in your building. I should have checked with my neighbor to find out more about this man and see if he really was his friend. As it turns out, I was not the only person who was victim to this sick man, and after numerous complaints the police finally picked him up and gave him a warning to stop or else.

Dating is fun. Be careful and be safe.
Henrietta Jones
© Copyright 2007 FraniE (franjam at Writing.Com). All rights reserved.
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