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Rated: E · Essay · Cultural · #1348938
Messiah has come.
All Networks

        Attention! This is not a test.
        The siren you heard is a NewsAlert.
        Please stand by for further information.

        And now the President of the United States.

        "Ahm.. I would like to speak to you about ..
        an extraordinary event...........
        I have had an .... epiphany.  Jesus appeared
        to me in my office... and He would like to
        speak to you... ahhhh Jesus?"

        And now the Messiah and prince of peace.

        "Hi! You can call me Fred. I've decided to
          declare myself king of the world. Anyone
          who doesn't want me to be king of the world
          will be sent to hell. Have a nice day."

        And once again the President of the United States.

        "Ah-heh-heh he means it. I saw him toast
        Dick Chaney... It wasn't pretty."

        The Messiah and prince of peace.

        "I want all the people of the world to
        bow down and worship me. Make a
        sacrifice of a goat. Anyone who doesn't
        .... can go to hell. I love you."

        That completes this emergency announcement
        we now return you to your scheduled program
        already in progress.

        Muzzy scratches his head, "Fred's got an attitude."

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