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Rated: ASR · Script/Play · Comedy · #1359568
A melodrama written for my lit class. My character was Boris Badheart. Recently fixed.
Update: So, I just re-read this, and I remembered that I'd simply posted it here for quick reference in case I needed acess to it and I didn't have my copy. So, now, I'm going to go back in a fix it up so that you, the reader, acctually knows what the crap is going on! Also, I've adjusted the format, making it much easier to read. Also, this was a little contest in my literature class to see who had the best one. I can't really remember who had the highest score, but I know we weren't too far behind. We only had five minutes to perform this (give or take a little bit), which is why there isn't a whole lot going on. We had to keep it contained by a lot. Our "stage" was the front of the class room, so MYRON never really "exits" the "stage". But oh well, we did the best with what we had.


         The scene before us is that of the utmost peril for Delightful Dora. She has been kidnapped by the evil Boris Badheart, who is threatening to throw her over No Bottom Falls if she does not reveal to him the location of Manly Myron's secret hideout. Where is Manly Myron now, when Dora needs him the most?


BORIS: demands angrily “Reveal the location of Manly Myron’s hideout to me!”

DORA: screams “Never will I do such a thing! Help!”


MYRON: looks up and then looks around (think squirrel) He's been sitting in his Secret Hideout for two hours, waiting for

DORA to come back with the take-out.
“Oh no! my Dora sense is tingling!” stands dramatically, and begins to run out of the door, but trips rather anti-climactically on air


BORIS: “Tell me now, or I’ll push you into those falls!” He demands, pretending to push Dora over the falls

DORA: “Never! I won’t tell you where the hideout is!” Dora shoves back against Boris, trying to keep herself from falling. Boris almost looses his grip on Dora, but not quite.


MYRON: He strikes a dramatic, heroic pose, chest stuck out, one hand on his hip, the other hand, pointing in the air. “Don’t worry Dora! I’m coming to save you!” Myron, off to the left side of the stage, drops his arms and attempts to run off stage, but due to his poor lack of coordination, trips and falls flat on his face, this time, tripping over his shoe strings. He is up quickly. “I’m okay! I’m coming Dora! Don’t worry!” Has to kneel down to tie his shoe laces, and then darts off stage.


BORIS: Has Dora in a tight hold, still very near the sharp drop-off of No Bottom Falls. “Tell me now, Dora! I want to push you into the falls, but! I need the location first!”

DORA: Has been offended, and scoffs angrily. “So, what, you’re going to push me off even if I tell you?”

BORIS: Shrugs lightly, Dora pulling away from him, her feet causing several small rocks to topple off of the ledge of the falls. “Well, if you must put it in that way, then yes.” nods once, noncommittally

DORA: She puts her hands on her hips, and speaks very angrily: “That’s hardly fair, Boris. You can’t do that!”

BORIS: He puts his own hand on his hip, and with one hand, twirls the little curly mustache under his nose. “Yes, I can! I am the evil villain here, me!” points at himself after letting go of his mustache. He grabbs Dora once more. Now tell me how to get to Manly Myron's Secret Hideout!"

DORA: screams “Meanie! Help!” as an aside “What is the world is taking Myron so long?”

BORIS: Having not heard her little aside, he proceedes to take another step towards the falls, shoving her along in front of him. “Tell me the location, Dora! Tell me now!” Shoves Dora ever closer to the edge- she is only inches away, now.

DORA: Very angrily says: “Never! You’re going to push me anyway, so what does it matter?” Screams loudly again, but no one hears her but Boris.


MYRON: Myron appears on stage while running in slow motion, says in slow motion: “I’m coming, Dora! I promise I’ll get there soon!” {Continues running right passed Dora, who watches him, wide-eyed, and leaves via the other end of the stage.}


BORIS: Says in a very bored tone while sitting on the ground, twisting his mustache: “Tell me Dora. Tell me now so I can push you.”

Dora: Also bored and sitting on the ground, studdying her fingernails, replies: “Help….help….” says as an aside   “Okay, I’m tired of waiting." Dora acts as if she's getting up to just completely leave everything behind.

MYRON: Suddenly appears on stage, sword drawn, striking his favorite dramatic pose, chest stuck out, sword in the air, hand on his hip. “Dora! I have come to rescue you from the evil Boris Badheart!”

DORA: She says angrily, hand on her hip: “Finally! What in the world took you so long?”

MYRON: Shrugs lightly. “Well, you took the car earlier, so I had to get here other ways. It took three cabs He holds up five fingers. and nine buses holds up seven fingers to get all the way here!"

BORIS: Interrupts Dora from further yelling at Myron. “Finally! Now I can push you off, Delightful Dora!” shoves Dora off of the  into the falls. Dora screams. Falls behind a conveintly placed desk at the front of the room with a cruedly painted "waterfall" on it. “What will you do now, Manly Myron?” pulls out sword dramatically

MYRON: Says this with sarcastic surprise and sadness “Oh no! Boris pushed Delightful Dora! How terrible!”

DORA: yelling "upwards", sounding as if she is far away “What is taking so long for me to fall?”

MYRON: ignores Boris and looks "down" (behind the desk) to where Dora has "fallen". “Well, the fall are called No-Bottom Falls!”

DORA: to herself (doesn't sound "far-away"  “Oh yeah,” yelling again   “How do I get out of this if I never quit falling?”

MYRON: still down to Dora, yelling “I have no clue!” strikes pose awkwardly while trying to continue yelling down to Dora “You must hit the bottom some time!”

BORIS: tapps Myron on the shoulder, who turns around to face Boris “Manly Myron! Now you must fight me!” they fight, very dramatically. (I acctually stabbed my friend several times during this part, which made no sence. But we were "winging" it.) “You will never be able to defeat me!”

MYRON: Narrowly misses yet another stab made by Boris. “I must try to defeat you, Boris!” takes a short pause to strike another dramatic pose

DORA: yelling "up" to Myron “Are you done fighting Boris yet, Myron?”

MYRON: to Dora, once again abandoning the fight. Boris looks towards the audiance and shrugs, sword drooped to the floor, looking very bored until Myron finishes speaking. “Not quite yet, Dora, but I will be soon!” Turns back to face Boris, and both take up poses again, each trying to stab each other, or knock each other over the cliff and into the falls.

BORIS: “I already told you, Myron, you won’t defeat me!” {pauses shortly to strike a pose

MYRON: suddenly yells down to Dora “Dora! Can you see the bottom of the Falls yet?” irritated, Boris crosses his arms

DORA: yells up to Myron “No!” slight pause   “Wait! It’s coming closer!” loud splash. Dora lays fully on the floor. Says muffled: “Found it!”

MYRON: down to Dora   “I will rescue you, Dora! Don’t worry!” strikes yet another pose

BORIS: as an aside “What do you know, No-Bottom Falls has a bottom after all.” shrugs lightly

MYRON: to Dora, still ignoring Boris: “Dora! Can you get back up here on your own?”

DORA: yells up to Myron: “I don’t know, but I can try!”

MYRON: Pays attention to Boris again, pointing his sword at him “Boris! Your reign of terror is at an end!”

BORIS: shouts “Never!” lowers sword. Confused, cocks his head to the side. “What reign of terror did I have in the first place?” Myron lowers his sword as well and there is a very slight moment of complete confusion.

MYRON: breaks the silence with a dramatic shout of: “I don’t know!” strikes another pose “It’s just what all of the heroes in the movies say.” Lowers sword for a moment again and shrugs

BORIS: supposedly as an aside, looking to the audiance “I’m fighting a complete idiot, you know?”

MYRON: defensively “Hey! I am not an idiot, Boris!”


Dora, as “Po-po,” stands up from floor and begins speaking, pointing accusingly at Boris.

PO-PO: “Boris Badheart! You are under arrest for everything bad you have done!” moves quickly toward Boris, trying to grab him

BORIS: “I will never be taken by you, Po-po!” backs up, trying to make a quick escape

PO-PO: Puts her hands on her hips and nods, saying: “Yes, you will, and don’t call me Po-po. What is this place, the hood? everyone throws on a hood that appears from nowhere Good grief!”

BORIS: glances around furtively “No…maybe…what’s it to ya, anyway?”

MYRON: shakes his head, confused “When did No-Bottom Falls become the hood?” looks to "PO-PO" and Boris

BORIS: shrugs “That is exactly what I would like to know.”

PO-PO: cuts in dramatically “Don’t you worry about that, either of you. Just get in the police car, Boris Badheart.” Dora shoves Boris "off stage".

BORIS: complaining “Fine, fine, no shoving. I’m going, I’m going.”

PO-PO: monotone “You have the right to remain silent. Anything you say can, and will, be used against you in a court of law...”

BORIS: interrupts "PO-PO", agitated “Yes, yes, I know. You don’t have to tell me.”

PO-PO: in her normal voice: “Well, it’s against the law for me not to tell you.” Returns to monotone “You have the right to an attorney…” trails off as she pushes Boris "off stage" (out of the class room)

MYRON: Looks to the audiance and strikes his now famous pose “Well, it’s been another great day for Manly Myron!” Tries to walk off stage, but trips and falls on the way. Looks up and yells: “I’m okay!”

The play ends as Myron stands back up and Dora and Boris re-enter the room. They all take an awkward bow.

© Copyright 2007 Meredith ~ (mere-mere at Writing.Com). All rights reserved.
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