The preface for my novel the assistnat of the angel of death
|I was never truly alone, there were persons in my life that loved me and I loved them back. Believe me, my infatuation for them was of infinite proportions. But I was always alone. In a deeper sense of way, I was never satisfied with my life. Even when the one I loved...was along my side there was a small void. A dull drumming of despondency . Nonetheless I wasn’t as alone when she was with me . But when she left my life. I experienced true loneliness...and I could not bear it.
I would further explain this but...I would only further the misunderstanding.
And now it all came clear, as if the final pieces of a long forgotten puzzle where fit in. As I stared at the void of time and space in the middle of the two gates. I truly realized that I did not experience life until the angel of death took my soul in his hands.
For the first time since the beginning of my journey...I truly realized what I had lost by ending my life and the impairment I had caused my loved ones. Funny how...ones does not realize the value of things until they are taken away from them or stolen. or in my case...sacrificed. With a toll and growing desperation in my chest...I understood now that. one does not know things until they are lost. It all came to me with an utter impact on my being. The softly spoken words of the angel, tangled together with the pictures of my beloved and pulling at the raw tinted edges, the soft tenure touch of the ones I’d helped reap and put to peace or eternal self- damnation.
Perhaps I am damned forevermore and redemption is a stolen token from my soul. No a sacrificed token. I had given it up without even considering the realm of the sacrifice. Though my soul is too far lost, there are still the others. Those who still have a chance. And I Shall aid their cause and prevent this ill from overtaking the earth!
Raw shock, artic glacial and acidic sour over the pores of his tongue at first but then soft and tenderly warm like a gentle caress settled over Alex. As an inexplicable occurrence flashed through the hollow darkness and all of his thoughts and even the tenure of them where inscribed upon a strand of utter darkness. Engraved in fiery letters. It was all written in a writing format. After softly rereading it all a small smile lit his ivory colored features and then the letters disappeared and became a part of the eternal darkness.