|The Story Of The Terror In Poopyville
Narrator (N) – This is the tale of Sir Fred Flatuance and King Big Bussoms and their evil plot to fart the people of Poopyville off the face of the earth. They are a team of evil men, together they stand. But is this what Sir Fred Flatuance thinks? Or does he have his own plan? Find out in this exciting tale!
BATTERIES NOT INCLUDED
Meghan - This (very deep voice *Meghan) is the voice of King Big Boosums.
Emily – This (sales man type of voice *Emily) is the voice of Sir Fred Fluatuance.
Meghan- This (echo *Meghan) is the voices of the townspeople
Emily – This (high country voice *Emily) is the voice of Queen Little Boosums.
Meghan – This (nerdy sounding *Meghan) is the voice of Princess Sock.
Emily – This (robot sounding *Emily) is the voice of Prince Foot.
(FF- Fred Flatuance BB- Big Boosums LB- Little Boosums PS- Princess Sock PF- Prince Foot T- Townspeople
N – And the tale begins
N – King BB was a terrible, evil king. He was named BB and from that point forward he hated all. So then he renamed his wife Josephine to LB. His daughter to PS and his son to PF. There was only one person more eviler than him. His name was....
FF – FF. Here at your service. Glad to see you Miss LB.
LB – Uhhhh. Nice to see you too. Please come in.
FF – I think I'll do just that.
LB – OK.
BB – Oh! Hi! Sir FF! I am so surprised to see y-
FF – (cuts him off) That's great. OK. I have some business I'd like to discuss with you.
BB – Uh, what kind of business?
FF – Our kinda business if ya know what I mean brotha.
BB – Ohh, thaaaaaaaaaat kind of business.
FF – Yup. It's showtime baby.
N – END OF SCENE 1! SCENE 2 BEGINS IN THE KING'S SECRET TAVERN. 123 ACTION.
BB – Ok, soooo what exactly were you thinking?
FF – Well, my name says it all bad boy.
BB – Farting? Gotcha fool!
FF – Exactly. But not just plain old farting. So big. So bad. So smelly it will blow the townspeople off the face of the earth. How does that sound, partner?
BB – Fine, but let me rip one big one real quick.
FF – Wow, that was errr loud.
BB – Yeah, that felt nice.
FF – Wait, you don't have those chemical things still in here do you?
BB – Yup.
FF – Uh oh.
TOGETHER – RUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUN!
N – END OF SCENE 2. BEGGINNING OF SCENE 3 IN FF'S SECRET LAB.
FF- (to self) Uhh, that freak is so annoying. Good thing he actually thinks we are in this together. (sigh) Well, when the poison is juuuuuuuuuuust right, he'll be in for a treat. A real treat.
(Meghan – Muahahhahahhaaha)
N – END OF SCENE 3. SCENE 4 BEGINS IN THE LIVING ROOM WITH THE QUEEN AND CHILDREN.
LB – Children, I'm so worried about yalls fatha. He's been gone with that Flautuance man for quite a while now. There's somethin about that feller that fishy. And i dont like it.
PF – i dont know mama. What do u think princess sock?
PS – well, i think this is a sticky situation. I mean i really miss my daddy. Even though he is a poop head, he is still my daddy.
PF – Not much of a daddy.
LB – Children! That is quite enough! I love your daddy very much so shut your trappers.
LB – I'm as nervous as a sheep who just spotted a wolf. I think that Flautuacne feller is the wolf and plans to gobble my dear BB up! Oh nooooooooooooooo!
N – END OF SCENE 4. SCENE 5 BEGGINS IN THE KING'S SECRET TAVERN. 123 LETS GO BABY!
BB – (fart) Ahhh, but i really need to stop. I need to start saving these up for the big finale. Ugg, this is my 8889th can of beans. Hmmm, should I switch to low carb? Naaah, this kind makes 'em loud and stanky.
BB – Sir Fred Flautuance really is a nice guy. He sounds like a real meanie. Just like me. Hmmm, I remember when we were real youngsters together. We used to blow off the roofs of schools. And my father and his father used to-. Hmm, my father. What an evil man. Anyways I can't wait until Saturday. It will be the big day.
N – END OF SCENE 5. SCENE 6 BEGINS IN THE GREAT HALL.
BB – Honey, I am sorry but I have some business to attend to from this afternoon to Sunday.
LB – What? But Friday which is today is our big movie night and the kids and I really wanted to watch the Wiggles with you.
BB – I am sorry sweet thang. Dutie calls.
LB – Noooooooooooooooooooooooooooo. (cry)
BB – Good bye children. Good bye darling. I must be off.
PF and PS – No Daddy! We love you!
BB – Duh. You should. Now shoo.
PF and PS – (cry)
N – END OF SCENE 6. SCENE 7 BEGINS ON THE TRAIL TO POOPYVILLE'S CAPITAL BUILDING.
BB – So, this should be fun! But, uh, what do we do after everyone is blown off the earth?
FF – Just move to another city so we can get started on this once again.
BB – Huh?
FF – Don't worry. I have this under control.
BB – Alright.
FF – What on earth was that?
BB – I don't know but it sounds mighty frightening. Perhaps we have disturbed it.
FF – Uh, yeah sure.
FF – (scream)
BB – Shhhh!
FF – How bad is it?
BB – You really want to know??
FF – Let me guess. 10 feet tall. Hairy. Big feet. And drooling. Huge fangs ready to eat us.
BB – Yup.
Together – RUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUN!
(thumping of footsteps)
FF – It is catching up.
BB – Oh no!
FF – Help! I have fallen.
BB – It is going to eat you! Watch out.
FF – Wait I know how to handle this.
FF – (breath heavily) Hello young hairy sir. May I intrest you in this fabulous watch. It is antique with hours, minutes, seconds, the date and my personal favorite a calculator all in one. Just 79.99 but with this special offer it can be only 69.99 but wait there is mo-
BB – Run Fred! Run!
FF – What?
BB – Run!
FF – Oh! See ya!
BB – Sorry big guy. (fart)
(thump of hitting floor)
FF – Nice job!
BB – Thanks, you too.
FF – Well, I am good aren't I?
BB – Well....
FF – Let us move on.
BB – NO, we need to rest. We wil camp here for the night. I will go and set up the tent.
FF – Ok (high, scared voice).
BB – Good.
FF – (deep sigh)
N – END OF SCENE 7. SCENE 8 BEGINS IN THE LIVING ROOM WITH BB'S FAMILY.
LB – Hmmmmm, I wish I could call BB. I don't know FF's cell phone number. Lets see 7788890.
(RING RING RING RING RING)
Random Person – Hello?
LB – Hi, is this Sir Fred Flautuance??
Random Person – Uh no!
LB – Oh, sorry.
Random Person – YEAH! You better be! You youngsters need to quit prank calling me!
LB – I wasn't pra-
(err, err, err, this line has been disconnected or is no longer in service. Please check the number and try again)
PS – Try 1800IMALOSER
LB – Honey! Well, it is worth a try. OK. Here we go.
(ring ring ring ring)
FF – Hello? This is Sir Fred Flatuance here. Glad to meet you. OK, are you calling to buy one of my fabulous new products?
LB – No I was jus-
FF – Oh, yes. I see. Want a wedding gift for a close friend? A rattle for your baby? Ear plugs to lower the sound of your annoying husband?
LB – No. Uh, Fred this is Queen LB.
FF – Oh, sorry I'm not here please lleave a message.
Lb – Uggh, what an anwering machine.
PS – Let me leave a message.
LB – NO.
PS – Yes.
LB – You little piece of nasty get away from me.
PS – Fine.
LB – Hello Sir uh Fred uh Flautuance. This is Queen LB. I am ere to ask about my husband King BB. You and him just mysteriously dissappeared. So I want some answers. Call me back at 1111116. Thanks.
PS – Uggggggggggggggggggh.
PF – You are telling me.
N – END OF SCENE 8. SCENE 9 BEGINS WITH FF AND BB WAKING UP.
BB – Wake up FF! It is time to be on the move!
FF – Right, I am just going to go back to sleep now. OK? Good. (snore)
BB – NO! Up now!
FF – OK! I am coming! Let us be off.
N – 3 hours later.
BB – Ahh, fresh air
FF – Right, I am so bored.
BB – Ahhhhh.
FF – Hold up! I'll be right back.
FF – I uh have to pee
BB – Oh
N – FF walks into the woods
FF – Ahh, at last! Perfect! The poison is ready. I will give it to him in the capital building. Muahahahahhahahaha
BB – FF? Hurry up.
FF – Coming!
BB – Good. Lets go
FF – Right behind ya!
N – END OF SCENE 9. SCENE 10 BEGINS IN THE LIVING ROOM
PF – Try calling again.
PS – Yeah, try again Mommy.
LB – OK. I guess. Lets see 1800IMALOSER.
(ring ring ring ring ring ring ring)
FF – Hello? This is FF here, how may I help you?
LB – hello? Hi this is Queen LB. I was wondering about -
FF – Who? Sorry I know ANY Queen LB.
LB – FF! Yes you do! You and my husband King BB have been gone for a while and I wanted to know where you are!
FF – I am sorry ma'am. I know any King BB. Ha! What a name! So please do not call back.
LB – What?
(beep beep this line is d....)
LB – The nerves of that man!
N - END OF SCENE 10. SCENE 11 BEGINS RIGHT AFTERWARD WITH FF AND BB.
FF – Ugggh. That was close.
BB – What was close?
FF – Nothing. Don't worry about it at all.
BB – Okie dokie.
FF – yeah. ok.
N – END OF SCENE 11. SCENE 12 IS WITH FF AND BB THE NEXT DAY.
FF – We are almost there!
BB – Yes! I can see it in the distance!
FF – Woohoo
BB - Yeah baby
FF – Lets run
BB – I'll race you there
FF – you are on
BB – (heavy breathing)
FF – (heavy breathing) ha (breath) ha (breath) i am (breath) in front of (breath) you.
BB – Not for long!
FF – Hey! That's not fair! U tripped me!
BB – so?
FF – Uggh.
BB – Look!
FF – We are here!
BB – Lets have some celebration!
FF – Of course! Have some wine! I will too!
BB – Thanks
FF – Have this one! Wait no this one. Uhh. This one?
BB – uh sure whatever.
BB – (gulp gulp gulp)
FF – Hahaha! The poison should take effect any minute now!
BB – What? U tried to poison me?
FF – Yeh, so? Haha, I will drink to that
FF - (gulp gulp gulp)
FF – Haha! ( choking gasping)
FF – (horse voice) Oh no! I drank the poison ! Oh no!
BB – Your loss.
FF – No wait help me.
BB – Ok, this should help
N – and King BB farted the evil Sir FF off of the face of the earth and he was never seen again.
N - END OF SCENE 12. SCENE 13 IS 3 DAYS LATER IN THE KINGDOM.
BB – I AM HOME!
LB – Oh sweetie! I love you! Where were you? Tell me everything? Where is Sir FF? What happened?
Pf – Yeah dad! What happened/
PS – Yeah.
N – And he told them the whole story.
LB – Oh my goodness! I am so glad you are alright. I love u so much.
BB – Thanks honey.
N – And from then on he was not an evil king. He was a nice king who farted a lot.