by Lainey Mac
Just a sample of something i've been playing around with!
|Winter came early that year. Not the actual season but the feelings that come with it. The coldness, the darkness and the hopeless despair you start to feel with lack of sunshine. That’s how Bonnie’s heart felt. She was 15 years old and already her heart was broken and it ached. She remembered the day it happened. The 16th October, two weeks ago today. The day that changed the course of her life forever. She lost her mother, the only stable thing that had been in her life since she could remember, was now gone. She had left her all alone in the world and Bonnie was scared. Their life up until now had been full of adventure and uncertainties. They lived in a different town, city or country every season of every year. They were blown which ever way the wind wanted to blow and life was perfect. Her mother was an eternal free spirit, a wonderer with a passion for life. She knew she wasn’t here for a long time so she wanted to see as much of the planet as she could, dragging Bonnie along for the ride. This way of life was all that Bonnie had ever known and she was scared as to what her future now held. As she sat on the edge of the double bed in her mothers old room she felt a single tear fall slowly down one cheek with all these thoughts running through her mind. The room should have seemed familiar and comfortable but it wasn’t. This was the first time she had been in her mothers childhood home let alone the bedroom she grew up in. she looked around the room for the hundredth time and finally fixed her gaze on the garden outside the huge window which stood in front of her. She imagined her mother as a child running around out there, chasing fairies at the bottom of the garden where the big fig tree stood proudly. She imagined her walking along the garden boundaries and all the way down to the river in the summertime, all the while planning her future adventures and travels. A slight smile crept across Bonnie’s face at these thoughts and she consoled herself that even although her mothers was a short life, it was a good life. She sat there a few more minutes until she heard her name being called from downstairs.
“Bonnie, Bonnie love, are you alright up there? I think you should come down and eat something love”, her grandmother called in a caring tone from the bottom of the stairs. Bonnie’s head turned at the sound of her name but she didn’t call back. Instead she gave a little sigh, stood up, fixed her black dress and walked out onto the landing and began to descend the stairs. As she got to the bottom she could hear the sound of voices coming from a room to the right of her. It was the wake. The voices belonged to people who knew her mother but Bonnie didn’t know them and they didn’t know her. It amused her slightly how people reacted to her at the funeral. Her grandparents would introduce her and people would either pretend she wasn’t there and say things like “Oh the poor child, how is she copping?“, or look rather uncomfortable, offer their deepest sympathies and walk over to a safer, more familiar group of family and friends. Bonnie didn’t mind though, in fact she was quite grateful for it. The last thing she wanted to do was start a conversation about her mother with people who when she was alive never paid any attention to or interest in her life at all. She decided to bypass the room and instead make her way to the kitchen. Bonnie stood in the doorway and watched her grandmother bending over, peering into the oven. She had her greyish hair tied back in a bun and a white apron over her black dress. She didn’t see Bonnie at first, she was too preoccupied with not letting the food burn.
“Hi Grandma, did you call on me?”, asked Bonnie as she smiled. Her grandmother looked up at her and smiled back as she stood upright, wiped her hands on her apron and walked over to where Bonnie was standing.
“Oh there you are love, yes I did call you down. You’ve been up there for ages. I think you should come and eat something love, you’re looking a bit pale. Are you feeling alright?”, replied her grandmother as she held Bonnie’s head in her hands inspecting her face.
“I’m fine Grandma, really I am. I was up in mums room just sitting and looking out the window. She had a great view from there didn’t she?”, Bonnie said trying to change the subject. She didn’t like that everyone felt sorry for her and she didn’t like the fact that they were worrying about her.
“Yes she did, the best view in the whole house! She would spend hours up there just looking out that window and god knows what else! Now come on you, come and sit down and I’ll get you a plate of something”, her grandmother said as she moved Bonnie in the direction of the table and went about gathering an array of food on a plate for her.
“I’m afraid I don’t exactly know what you like to eat now-a-days, we haven’t seen you for so long. But here, this should do you for now love”, she said warmly, placing the plate on the table in front of Bonnie.
“Thanks grandma, that’s fine. I’m not fussy, I like just about anything”, Bonnie replied as she smiled up her grandmother. Her grandmother smiled back, putting her hand on Bonnie’s shoulder before leaving the kitchen with the rest of the plates of food for the people in the other room.
Bonnie spent the rest of the day sitting in the corner in the lounge room where the wake was being held. Nobody really came and spoke to her except from an old neighbour who was at least 80 and who Bonnie suspected a little senile. At about 5 o’clock people started to leave and by 6 o’clock it was only Bonnie, her aunt and her grandparents left. Her aunt was short and quite dumpy looking. Her facial features were a little squashed and centred and she had blonde curly hair that sat on her shoulders. She had three children and a husband, all of whom hadn’t come to the funeral or the wake because apparently they are not suitable places for children. Bonnie wondered what her aunt must think of her, still being a child herself. As she looked deeper at her aunt, then from her grandmother to her grandfather something suddenly dawned on her. For one, her aunt Suzie was almost the exact opposite to what her mother had looked like. In fact as Bonnie thought more and more about it, she couldn’t see any sort of resemblance between any of them.