An essay about male role models, black male role models in particular.
|In today’s culture it is not uncommon to see a woman raising children all by herself. I believe that this can have a really negative impact on the psyche’s of young folk. When kids grow up not having a Father/Male role model they never get the oppornuity to see what true manhood and what a proper male role model is. I want to emphasize the word proper male role model because not all males play a "proper" role. Take entertainment for example. You would have to search long and hard to even find a handful of men who carry themselves like men. It should tell you how far we have fallen as a people and as a society when someone like Lil Wayne is idolized by millions of young people. Seriously. Lil Wayne? Are you serious? Forty, fifty years ago someone like Lil Wayne (and other "men" of his ilk) would have been ran out of the community. There would be no way that he would be the hero or idolized by young people.
But for today’s generation of young people, the "thug" is to be admired. He is to be looked upon with adoration. He is looked at as the true definition of what a man is. Wearing your pants half way down to your ass and having that "thug appeal" or "swagger" is adored and found to be attractive by today’s young women. Sad, but true. All of this just goes back to my original point. A lot of Fathers have dropped the ball. A lot of Fathers had the golden opportunity to be involved and to make an impact in the lives of the children. They had the chance to be examples for their sons and daughters. They had the chance to show them what true manhood is. But they became cowards. They couldn’t man up and grow a set of balls. They didn’t have the courage to stick around and deal with the ultimate challenge of raising their kids. And now today, we are seeing the effects of their cowardice.
How do you think a young girl will fare in her relationships when she has never had a Father/Male role model in her Life to teach her and to set an example of what a real man is? Chances are, if she’s never been exposed to that and has never had the proper male influence she will end up in bad relationships. She will find herself attracted to the wrong type of men. She will find herself attracted to the "bad boy" and "thug" type. She will find herself on a never-ending journey trying to find the Love she never had from her Father. (I also think that this is one of the main reasons why so many teenage girls are getting pregnant. They don’t have that father they need). She will think that giving her up her body will somehow get her the Love she desires. But if she had that proper male influence (i.e. a good Father) she would be able to know a good man when she saw one. She would know what a real man is and there would be no way that she would go for the B.S. and the "game" that these young fools would be trying to lay on her. She would reject that young fools ignorant and childish antics. She would know better.
Females aren’t the only ones effected by this. How do you think young boys will fare if they’ve never been exposed to true manhood? Chances are, he will grow up with a twisted view of what manhood and being a man is. Of course society;s influence doesn’t help matters much (but that’s a topic I will explore further in my next blog). He will think that his manhood lies in his pants. He will think that his d**k is what makes him a man. He will grow up not having any idea of what responsibility is. He will not know how to properly raise the children he fathered. He will think that living like a "gangsta" and living that "thug life" is what it’s all about. He’ll believe that having rims, grills, "bitches", money, and all that other nonsense is what being a man is all about. You see, not having that Father/male role model would have him having a twisted view of manhood.
Now let me say this. Not ALL young people (or people in general) who have grown up without a Father will think, or have grown up to be this way. I myself have never known my "father" and. My mother raised me. She was both my mom and dad. My guide. And if I may say so, I think she did a damn good job. She raised me to be a gentleman and to have respect for women and to think for myself. And there a lot of other mothers out here who have done a damn good job of raising respectful young men and women despite not having a Father around. But the fact still remains that for a huge portion of young people, not having a Father/male role model has had terrible effects.
I think it’s only fair that since I have been discussing proper male role models in this blog that I give you my definition of what I think a man is. In my opinion a man is someone who takes care of his responsibilities . He is a leader and a teacher. He thinks for himself. He is someone who not only has respect for women, but has respect for himself. He is someone who is mature and carries himself like a gentleman.He’s someone who has self-control and discipline. He doesn’t think with the muscle in his pants. He thinks with the muscle in his head. He is someone who is involved in his children’s Lives. He is someone who is sensitive to other people’s feelings and doesn’t walk around with a "macho" attitude to prove how hard he is. He is someone who doesn’t have to dress thugish in order to have a "swagger". His confidence, character, and humbleness is what gives him his "swagger". His being a total gentleman is what makes him "sexy". He is someone who doesn’t worship material things. He’s not afraid to show Love and his feelings. He’s not afraid to show Love to his woman and children. These are the things (and so many more) that make a man a MAN.
The time has come when the REAL men out there must stand tall and become mentors. Start being involved in the lives of your kids and today’s young people. Teach. Share with them the knowledge that you have. Someone I know once said that there are only about 2% of good men out here. I beg to differ. I believe that there are plenty of good men out here. They just aren’t making there voices heard. Or either they’re being passed up because their too "lame" or "boring" or "safe". ( A message to the ladies: WAKE UP! Don’t pass up a good man for some silly "bad boy" type and then turn around complain that you can’t find a good man).
My hat goes off to the real men out there doing their thing. The ones out there making a difference, the ones taking care of their kids, those are the men I look up to. Those are MY role models. Thank you. We need more like you.
*Love God Always*