An introspective into the mind of this one apathetic writer.
As I sit here at my desk I glance at the clock and it hits me; I have been sitting here in idle for over an hour. Very many of us know I am sure, that an hour to one person may not have the same 'feeling' as an hour to another. This hour, for me, has been one of those hours that felt like an entire day has passed. It doesn't surprise me then, when such a relation is spot on with the current motions of my life these last few months. Or was it these last few years? To be quite honest, I am unsure of myself at this point. My emotional levee's have quit long ago, and so as I have been I continue to be, lost in the vast space of my own consciousness and left out to sea with nothing but a life raft.
I would venture to believe that those who can relate thus far have come to find that patience is a virtue long overdue, and that the apathetic moments we encounter in our empty lives are without satisfaction, lessened to a degree of moral uncertainty and loneliness so deep that any hope of climbing out of this pit of darkness is left where it began; in the seed of hope that has failed to blossom, time after time again.
I can only hope that the words I lay down upon this screen reach further than the surface of a reader’s eyes. I wish so that these words find their way into the Soul’s of those good people who can relate and reciprocate. Everything is a cycle in life and evidence is plentiful- the sun rises and falls in lieu with the moon, and the waves of the ocean come in and go out in synch with both. Harmony; a wonderful word that stimulates thoughts of perfection, feelings of euphoria. But this is real life and real things happen. Sometimes they don’t fit together and sometimes chaos ensues and people lose hope. But wait, can’t harmony be found in chaos? Can’t the entanglement of all things imperfect be considered harmony of those mangled and confused variables? I think so.
And so it all returns to the perception of time, our own perception of our own time. We can make use of that one eternal hour, or we can sit in idle and capture the nothingness that is our own voided perception. I am confident that a great majority of us are familiar with the expression there is no better time than now. So long as time exists within our perceptive range, each passing second is an opportunity to paving the now. But as all things equal, what goes up must come down- each passing second unharnessed and used in our perspective preferences becomes a distance echo of hope and worse, a never ending passage into the harmony of chaos.
Make use of your time wisely, as the nothingness that is so vague is clearly and indiscriminately hoping you will not. Take comfort in knowing that you can change your perception, and there is no better time, than now.
- ESOG -