A series of pages detailing my life of 25 years, the good and the bad.
|This is the beginning part of my life... some of it I have heard in stories, as I became older, they are memories and some is just my insight after long thinking jags.
I am the product of two teenagers who weren't smart enough to wear a condom, ha ha ha. No seriously I came into this world the child of a 15 year old mother and a 16 year old father, who were both scared and not at all ready for a child. I was born in the 80's, which is a lot different then today, where it is more socially acceptable to talk to your kids about sex and have them on birth control. It was a lot different back then...
My parents both grew up in the South. They are both from big, old fashioned families. My father is the youngest of 7 kids, my grandparents believed in having a big family to help with farming and household chores. Like I said, old fashioned, even though my dad was born in the 60's and you would think that the mindset would start to fade, but oh well. 5 boys, 2 girls. My grandmother was in her 40's when my dad was born... But both of my grandparents firmly believed in putting your kids to work, making them pull their weight, which is good I guess. My dad, the baby, had to do that, but he also became my grandma's favorite, and I think he got out of a lot of stuff, which made time for him to get into things he shouldn't... We have tons of family scattered everywhere, so he grew up with his nephews, who were actually his age, as his best friends. That was how he met my mom...
My mom actually was born up North, she moved here when she was a little girl, maybe around 6. A lot of family still lives up there, but they mostly relocated here as well. My mom only has one sister, but has tons of cousins, aunts and uncles. Her dad died when she was 4, she barely remembers him. My grandmother became a single mother and had to support her 2 girls, not knowing soon she would be supporting me too! I think my grandma was a little more open minded then my dad's parents, but not much. So it doesn't surprise me everyone made the choices they did.
My parents attended the same schools; and my mom quickly became friends when she was 13 with my dad's niece, (who like I said, is around the same age as him). She and my dad started hanging out and then they were dating, then soon after they were having sex. My mom loves to tease me now, she knows exactly when I was conceived and it was in a pine tree thicket. Nice huh? So at 14, she was pregnant. She was scared to tell anyone, she wrote down how she was going to tell my father and my aunt, her sister found it and told my grandma before my mom could, that was how she found out... that was how my dad found out too, my grandma hauled my mom to his house and proceeded to tell everyone my mom was knocked up by my dad. She was mortified and so was he, as well as shocked. All of my grandparents were livid. Being in the times we are in now, I don't know what my grandparents thought would happen; they hadn't explained anything to their kids about pregnancy and protection, they thought if you didn't talk about it, it didn't happen, which I guess is how a lot of parents handle it. My parents were too young and immature to realize things like that do happen to kids, they weren't invincible. But they were all shocked, and demanding my parents marry quickly so they wouldn't be disgraced. They refused. Chaos erupted! My grandparents stopped speaking to my parents. My mom said that my grandma wouldn't speak to her for 4 months, until she felt me kick my mom. It must have opened a gate and made her accept what was happening. She quickly helped my mom prepare for my arrival.
My mom struggled at school. Being a pregnant teenager, she faced people calling her a slut, among many other names. My dad often got into fights defending her. But she kept attending school and took parenting classes. They made the best of things and all their family ended being supportive. I was born in May, she was 15, my dad 16. She had a relatively short labor of 6 hours, I was 8 lbs 6 oz. My dad was too scared to be inside the room with her, my grandma was while he stayed out in the waiting room playing cards.
My mom took me home, we lived with my grandma and my dad would come over and see me. They planned to get married and get a place after they graduated. When my mom went back to school, my grandma kept me, or she would bring me to my other grandma. Thinking back on their stories and my memories, they were my saviors. I will always have a special place in my heart for the two of them, they took care of me and helped my parents take care of me when they didn't know what they were doing. Most of all, they loved me.
My dad graduated and went on to college. My mom, a year younger, took childcare classes and it enabled her to bring me to school in the daycare so my grandma could have a break and work herself. She graduated high school as well. My dad went to BLET to become a police officer. My mom was wanting to go to college as well, but had to get a job to help support her family, me as well as my grandma and aunt.
My parents split up when I was 3. I think they really tried to make it work, but they were too young and had too much life they wanted to experience. They agreed to stay friends and raise me together. I don't remember them together, but I always felt lucky having them remain such great friends, because they are even now, and I am 25. They had their fights, mostly about me, but I think it worked out. Had they tried to marry and stay together, it would have been a mess.
More to come...