Molly visits our solar system. She's looking to fill her belly, snacking on planets.
|**A quick note, don’t ask me how Molly is breathing or walking**
Molly had been in a wedding. Before the reception, she went to the bathroom. She finished, opened the stall door and ended up in a bizarre place. It was all black except for where she could see little specks of lights. There was such a bunch of colors it was beautiful. It was like looking up at the night sky, except prettier. And it was all around her.
In her thin white dress, she felt chilly. A bit of heat coming from a yellow ball in the distance attracted her attention. It looked to be a few miles away. She headed for it.
A billion miles away an amateur astronomer looked through his telescope. He blinked, rubbed his eyes, looked again. He took a picture and emailed it to a friend at NASA. His phone rang five minutes later
“Ed, you’ve got to be kidding!” Joe from NASA, yelled into the phone “We don’t even have astronauts half way between Jupiter and Saturn. Never mind this thing about a girl in a white dress walking around. Look, it’s a nice gag…cute kid actually…Who is she, a neighbor? A niece?”
Ed growled into the phone “I’m not kidding! That picture is dead serious!”
“Look, Ed, maybe you just need a little time off” Joe suggested
Ed took a deep breath “Alright Joe, how about this, I give you the co-ordinates. One ‘scope can at least sweep the area, can’t ya?”
“Well, I guess” Joe half agreed “You’ve got a dozen discoveries to your name. Maybe there’s something there. I’ll let you know.” Still thinking his friend was pulling his leg, Joe took the co-ordinates from the email and had a telescope in Texas take a look.
Elsewhere on Earth, a physicist in Japan was talking to one in England. “It seems as if something the size of Saturn just wandered into the solar system.” one said.
“Ridiculous” the other one said “We would’ve known about something that big at least a decade ago.”
The first one crossed his arms stubbornly and said “I await your theory, you arrogant twit”
About a half hour later, Molly got to a giant ball that was much bigger than her. The strange thing was that when she tried to touch it, her hand went right through it “It’s like it’s not even here” she said to herself “But, oooh, look at the pretty red dot” It was about knee-high on the ball and about the size of her fingertip. She went to touch it, but her finger went straight through it and when she pulled her finger out, the pretty red colors were gone.
A little orange yellow and black ball rolled into her hand just then. It was hot to the touch, but no hotter than a hamburger. Molly rolled it between her hands to enjoy the warmth. “That feels good” she said happily, then her stomach growled “Well, you look like a burger” she said to the ball. She brought it to her lips, said “Down the hatch!” and popped it in. Molly’s molars ground it to bits and she swallowed.
Two more balls, bigger than the first one, were each devoured in three bites. They were rather dry and left Molly wondering if there was something to drink. The pretty blonde-haired girl walked around picking bits of food from her teeth. Eventually, Molly got hit in the knee by a snowball. She bent down, scooped it up and studied it closely. It had a crack all along its surface. Molly pried the snowball apart by pushing her fingernail into the crack. She was delighted to find both sides full of water. She drained one half of it then capped the full half, dropped it in her little silk purse and set off toward the warm yellow glow.
On Earth, Ed showed up at NASA as the result of a panicked phone call “What’s with you, Joe?” he asked sullenly “First you practically call me a quack astronomer, then you threaten to send the police to drag me here. I don’t much like you right now”
“Ed, after your call, I put an eye on your co-ordinates. We didn’t find a girl there” Joe explained.
Ed gave him a furious look “And you had to tell me I was an idiot to my face, right?” he growled
“Will you just listen?!” Joe yelled, he was white-faced with fear “Look what we did see makes no sense at all. What we found was a handkerchief, made of silk, twice the size of the Earth.”
Ed would’ve thought Joe was just trying to get him back, but the fearful expression stopped an angry retort “Have…you…confirmed this?” he asked
“Ten different telescopes now” Joe confirmed “Here look at this” He turned a computer around.
Ed studied the picture, it was of a handkerchief. “That’s the name Molly in the corner, right Joe?” he asked.
“Oh, yeah” the NASA man confirmed “Zoom in on the speck above the above the second L. Does it look familiar?”
Ed studied it, the shape was familiar. But the scale was all wrong. “Is that what I think it is? How far is it from that handkerchief?”
“Yeah Ed” Joe answered “It’s Halley’s Comet. And it’s in precisely the same location. See, the skid mark, the comet hit the thing. Now, it’s stuck there. And there’s more.”
Ed’s mouth just hung open “Do I even want to know?” he asked
“These pictures of the Jupiter System were just received” Joe said, like a doctor talking about a terminal disease. He handed over a dozen pictures. “Notice anything missing?”
Ed studied this picture “They must be on the opposite side of the planet”
“You know better” Joe scolded his friend “Io, Ganymede, Callisto and Europa are ALL missing. Something else, too. The Great Red Spot should’ve just appeared. Look at the crazy cloud patterns.”
“A black hole?” Ed guessed.
Joe shook his head “No way, not all that damage in just two days”
“What then?” Ed asked. All Joe had to offer was a clueless shrug.
Molly’s next adventure was with a huge swarm of tiny objects. It was like trying to walk in a blizzard. None of them were even worth snacking on. However, just as reached the other side, she snatched one about the size of a Lifesaver and tossed it into her mouth. It had a nice flavor, she sucked on it until it dissolved.
The next snack Molly came across was warm to the touch. It was larger than any other the others. She eagerly seized it. The smooth ball filled her hand completely. The ball crumbled some as she gave it a squeeze by tightening her fingers. “Hmmm” she said, licking her lips “A few more like this one might make a real meal.” It looked a bit like an orange. All the previous balls Molly had eaten were quite tasty, she didn’t think this one would be any different.
“Gonna take a few bites to finish you off. I think I’ll take small bites to really enjoy this one” she said, admiring the goodie.
All Molly did was take a little nibble. But it was horrible. This ball tasted like ashes “Ugh *** gag***ptiooey***cough!” the girl choked. She just dropped the gross thing. She reached into her little purse and grabbed the snowball from before. Molly pulled the halves apart and sucked the liquid water from the full half. She swished it around and sprayed all over the offending ball. The unpleasant taste was still there, she popped half the now empty snowball into her mouth. Molly’s body heat quickly melted it, then she repeated the swish and spray. The remaining half of the snowball was returned to her purse.
She looked at it one last time and said “Smells like a jalapeños fart.” Then Molly kicked it and walked off.
Earth telescopes were scanning the sky. Searching the solar system for missing worlds or at least a cause of the disappearances. The mystery of the huge handkerchief that caught Halley’s Comet was pushed aside. NASA was now on cosmic alert. An hour passed with no new information.
“Got another mystery for you, Joe” Ed said into a microphone.
Joe walked over to the computer and asked “What’cha got”
“This is where Venus should come out from behind the sun, right” Ed said pointing to a spot on the screen.
Joe answered “Yeah in about two weeks”
“Then what’s this?” Ed asked, moving his finger
Joe shrugged “Dunno”
“NO F***ING WAY!!!” sounded across the room
Ed shouted back “SHUT UP!! WE’RE TRYING TO FIGURE THIS OUT!!”
“We’ve got a much bigger problem!” the technician screamed. He ran over, shoved Joe’s computer to the floor and cried “LOOK AT THIS!!!”
Shocked silence filled the room. “This isn’t funny, Ed” was the first thing Joe said. He recognized the girl from Ed’s email.
“Don’t look at me, Joe” the amateur said sincerely.
“When was this taken?” asked Joe, still eyeing his friend suspiciously.
“Five minutes ago” the tech answered
The red phone went off “Joe, tell me what’s going on”
“Mr. President, we have a girl that’s 64,000 miles tall walking around the solar system making worlds vanish” Ed answered.
There was silence on the line, then “I’m assuming that’s a joke”
“No it isn’t” replied Joe with finality “We’re faxing a picture over now, sir”
There was a heavy disbelieving sigh over the connection “Awright I’ll play along exactly what should we do?” the President asked sarcastically.
“Do, sir?” Ed replied “The only thing we can do is pray she’s friendly or that she just doesn’t see our bright, shiny blue globe hanging all by itself against a nearly total black background.”
“Holy God!!!” the President gasped
Despite the situation, Ed laughed “I’d say he got our email”
“Cool it Ed” Joe ordered.
The President resumed his thought “Gentlemen kindly tell me how much time we have and what you have to defend this planet with”
“Mister President…it…she…whatever…might be able to move at the speed of light” Ed explained “and as for fighting every nuclear weapon we have just might make her say ouch.”
“I’m a little sick of your voice, son” the President said coldly “If you can’t offer something to kill this thing to, then shut up!”
Ed sighed “You’re not getting, sir. Have you got some fruit? Anything round?”
“Will a baseball do?” was the impatient reply
“Good enough” Ed answered “Now pick it up and hold it tight”
“Now, just imagine that ball as the Earth and---” That was when the line disconnected “---IDIOT!!” Ed cursed.
Molly found that the fireball was beyond hot. She walked around it at a safe distance. It took a couple of minutes before she could see anything on the other side of the glowing mass. It was huge, even for her, the size of a fifty story building. A little hot, she reached for her purse, expecting her snowball. No ball there, “Aww, shoot! It melted!” she complained. All she could do is squeeze out the last of the water.
“I’m hungry again” Molly said, looking around. She hit the jackpot with three almost together “Mmmm Yummmy” There was a red one that looked like a tomato. It was farthest away, and it looked like it was rolling away from her, so Molly went after it first.
The approach of the monstrous girl sent panic through the people of Earth. Every telescope was able to take pictures of her as she approached. The whole world could see an approaching blur, even in daylight. She could be seen in Russia, which was on the night side, when she stopped to look at the moon. Tens of millions saw her scrape the moon with her fingernail. The resulting scar destroyed the famous man in the moon. Why she licked her finger afterward was hotly debated. The planet breathed a sigh of relief when the pretty, but ridiculously huge girl took a couple of steps away from the Earth-Moon system, winked and waved then ran off.
Once Molly realized the tomato wouldn’t get too far, she decided to stop and look over the other two little balls. The blue-green one looked juicy and delicious and Molly almost grabbed it right then to take a bite. But, she wagged her finger at it and said “Ohh-ohh no you’re way too tempting! I’ll have to save you for dessert” She forced herself to look away.
“And how about you?” Molly asked of the smaller grey one “There was one like you one the other side. It was pretty dry” She dug some free for a quick taste. She nodded after licking her finger. Molly patted the grey ball like a pet and said “Yep, tasty but dry. Gotta have something to wash you down”
Molly gazed hungrily at the pair of goodies, then winked at them and said “Now don’t you two go too far. I just need to get the rest of the meal. I’ll be right back for you.” With that, she ran after the red one.
The disappearance of the humungous girl was cause for celebration. The only thing people would have to get used would be looking up at the gash across the face of the moon. NASA still watched what blond haired cosmic disaster was up to. So many telescopes were watching that full color movies could show exactly what she was doing.
“She did what?!” a shocked Joe asked of his friend.
Hardly understanding what he’d seen, Ed reran the footage “She…grabbed…Mars…out of space…and…licked off the…icecap.”
“You wanna hear something even scarier?” asked Ed.
Joe shook his head “No” he answered.
“Tell me how many ships we launched, so far” Ed demanded
Joe paled “Five, why?”
“She’s coming back” Ed replied “And she…has…that is…she’s bringing Mars with her.”
Joe got paler “Bringing…Mars?”
“Uh…yeah” Ed said “Y’know…She’s walking back here at about a quarter the speed of light…carrying Mars”
Joe gave a curious look and asked “Wasn’t she moving faster…before?”
“Well…uhh…yeah” Ed answered “But now she’s…ahh…playing with it”
“Playing? With Mars?” asked Joe
Ed rolled his eyes “Just watch the video”
Molly stopped right near the little red ball and watched it slowly roll along wherever it was heading. She ended its journey by allowing it to roll across her palm and trapping it. “Gotcha!” Molly exclaimed when the tomato came into her eager hand.
She turned back toward the rest of her meal. Molly almost ran to get it, but now that she had it she wanted to study it. This one was the prettiest, except for the blue-green one. “Such a lovely red” she sighed. To her pleasure, Molly saw white at the top and bottom. That meant ice. There wasn’t much at the bottom, but the top was well covered. She switched it to her other hand, flipping it over in the process. Then she licked every bit of white off the ball. After that Molly enjoyed an easy stroll. Molly killed time by tossing the red ball between her hands “Soon you’ll be in my belly” she said
Molly found them again very quickly. The two balls had moved a little “Hi dinner” she said by way of greeting “Between you three, I’ll be full” She sat down, put the tomato down and reached for the grey ball.
Most of Russia was dark. The night sky in Moscow changed in a minute. First, there were two worlds. The familiar, but altered, Moon and then Mars appeared. Then, two long shadows engulfed the Moon and it vanished from sight. What was going on in space couldn’t be seen clearly with the naked eye, but video cameras attached to telescopes broadcast showed the whole thing. Anyone near a TV could watch. Fear gripped the planet.
Molly wasn’t desperately hungry like she’d been earlier, so she wanted to eat slowly and enjoy the taste. She chose the grey one first. Her first little taste reminded her of a meatball. Molly licked her lips as she picked it up. It almost disappeared in her hand. She could’ve popped it in, but it would’ve been too fast. So she took a bite. She chewed, grinding the pieces with her teeth and swallowed. Another chunk followed. It wasn’t filling but it was very tasty. Molly liked it so much she let the last piece slide down her throat whole. “Delicious” she sighed happily.
Molly’s gaze wandered to the blue-green ball “You’re so pretty” she leaned down close to it and studied it. Her eyes rolled over it. All the little patterns on it practically hypnotized her. Molly got closer and closer, she felt her nose bush it. A wonderful aroma filled her nostrils. She sat back up. “I am so gonna devour you!” she declared “Just…as soon as I finish with your friend here.”
Molly’s hand found the tomato and seized it, a little too forcefully. But, it didn’t crumble the others did. The red ball actually squirted. Juice was sprayed all over her hand, it ran all over. She lifted to her face and squeezed again. More juice came out. “Nice” she grinned “More like a tomato than I thought.” Molly bit down gently, the juice made things very soft and chewy.
After she finished, Molly enjoyed licking her fingers. She made slurping sounds with each lick. After a few minutes, the taste and stickiness was gone. Molly’s interest in the blue-green ball became an obsession. Besides, there wasn’t anything else nearby to eat and she had plenty of room left. And most of all, Molly REAAALLLYY WANTED TO EAT IT!!
There was one newswoman still talking about the images being broadcast. She was in Philadelphia. “…Well, she’s back…” then… “yes folks apparently that is Mars she has in her hand…” next… “four bites and it’s the end of the Moon. Will any of us even have time to get used to a Moonless sky?”… finally as Molly licked her hand clean … “I don’t think there’s any doubt. Earth will obviously be her next victim and everything we have is useless. Earth is utterly defenseless against this …ah… child”
“Its gone! I LOST IT! WHERE’D IT GO?!” Molly panicked. She looked around frantically. Earth had merely been continuing its leisurely orbit around the sun while Molly was munching away. The moment of worry was over when she spotted it. The distance Earth had traveled in a half hour, Molly covered in two steps. She sat with her legs spread, trapping it. Molly allowed it to roll along until it was stopped by her right thigh. She just barely felt the gentle bump, but the little thing did try to keep going.
Molly gave a greedy smile and said “Ohh, nooo, not this time. You're the main course. Molly’s stomach growled. She giggled, rubbed her belly and asked “See something you like?”
“Alright, now, up you come” Molly said, her mouth was watering in anticipation of sinking her teeth into it. She reached down with her right hand. Molly got her fingers under it and the ball bounced into her palm. She lifted it to her face. She was giving the pretty thing a last look when she hiccupped. Her fingers, which had just been gently holding it in place on her hand, clamped down hard.
For Earth, that was when the disaster really started. Eastern Brazil was crushed into the Atlantic by her thumb. Southeast Africa was flattened by her index finger. Most of Indonesia sank into the Pacific under the weight of her last two fingers.
Part two of the disaster began with the stars vanishing over Northern Russia.
“Whew!” Molly exhaled “Almost dropped you. I’d better start before anything else happens” First, Molly’s lips landed on a good sized area and then her teeth dug in. “Yummm…Hmmm” she moaned. It was even more delicious than it smelled. Her mouth was full so all she could do was chew and moan happily.
In that moment, Molly and a partially eaten Earth vanished from the solar system.
Left behind was a small fleet of twenty spaceships carrying a mere 300 people who had managed to leave the planet. They had watched the Moon, Mars and finally Earth get chewed up and swallowed