A teenage girl deals with gender/sexuality
|Many people mistake me for a boy. But I'm a girl, 100%.
Even though my hair is short, and I have no waist or hips to speak of. It doesn't mean I'm a boy. Not a "shim" either. A "she-him", how clever. But it's not even grammatically correct: it should be "her-him" or "she-he", but I guess the jerks growing up in New York suburbia are a little slow on the uptake.
They probably think I'm gay (a lesbian, whatever) because my mom has this "friend" that lives with us and they share a room, so you know what that means. It probably runs in the family. You know what that is? Another example of how dumb (intolerant, ignorant, moronic, mean) the kids here are. Has anyone even found a genetic link to homosexuality yet?
Why can't I just move to New York City and be accepted regardless of the fact that I may look like a boy and be a girl (and straight, too. Or...um....mostly, anyway). Don't even get me started on that.
No one told that stupid boy, the bisexual one from karate class, to spill his guts about how gay he is and I didn't have to react by understanding where he was coming from even though I was 13 and by far a virgin and didn't even understand what it meant for me to relate to this kid. It doesn't matter anyway because he's long gone (he moved away) so I can forget he existed and scratch out that entry from my diary like that (bizarre) night never even happened.
I'm the princess of denial, learned best from my father: if you ignore the problem, it won't bother you anymore. No, it won't, but it might come to bite me in the ass when I'm 19 and in college, confronted by this awesome girl (I have to decide if I want to date her) and I give in because I think back to the night where I related to the maniac who came over our house and lied to us about...well, who knows what (because he probably lied about everything); that night when I unconsciously realized I was every bit a bisexual as I am a girl (which I am, let me remind you, albeit a stocky, awkward teenager with a short, boyish haircut).