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Rated: 18+ · Documentary · Comedy · #1501318
There's (almost) no such thing as teenage love, these romances end in epic fail. Bite me.
WARNING : Teenagers in relationships will go through denial while reading this.

(Teenage) Love is shit, it's wonderfully magical and gets you higher then you ever thought possible but it's still shit.

Sure you'll tell me that love is awesome and that with love comes great experiences , wonderful times and all that crap but is it all real?

Actually from what I've seen 90 % of the people who think they're in love actually just have a crush and only know what their "significant other" looks like but don't even know their birthday. ( PS: By "people" mean I mean "high-school kids", adults just want to do it and usually decide if they like each other after intercourse...I never thought I'd use that word...intercourse... )

I may not know the difference between a crush and love myself but falling in love sounds like letting a little part of you slowly die inside, smoking pot does the same to your brain , just use a metaphor in which you replace the brain cells by emotion and you get this conclusion "falling in love before doing it is no better then smoking pot"
It'll always end up with one of the two " lovers " crying and losing a big shitload of self-estime which will result in the stimulation of the chocolate economy that is everlasting thanks to it's magical title of "anti-depressant" which is, by the way, the very reason it actually does makes you feel better...thinking it does...it actually does help depression but you don't notice it until you're eating it for that reason.

It also seems that falling in love when you're a kid is a bit too convenient, you always manage to pick the chick every other guy wants, it makes you want her even more ( jealousy ) and you always think about yourself and not how awkward this is for her to reject you over and over again, but hey, I'm just a guy who tries to make people laugh by showing how fucked up everything is, why should you listen to me?

Here's a little test for all you "I'm-high-on-life-and-rainbows-rule-as-long-as-I'm-dating-that-random-gal" morons who don't believe my theory.

If you think you like a girl try to think as hard as you can that you don't...try that now...now try giving yourself more then ten reasons to be with her.

Only read what's coming up AFTER picking ten reasons.

Are you done?...if not I don't advise reading the following but this is just a text so I can't really do anything about it from here. (unless of course, I had magic powers...I don't? Nyawww...)

Alright now if in the ten reasons you came up with most of the reasons ressemble the following you probably just have a crush and are forced to inform me that I rule.

"She answered like me at that personnality test i told her about"
-Did you ever hear about something called a stupid coincidence?

"She's hot"
-I put this here because I wanted to say that's a good reason -_-.

"She listens to the same music as me"
-Guess what I probably listen to the same music as you...in love with me yet?

"We have the same friends/hate the same people"
-If you only have 2 or 3 friends/enemies then yeah...you're not going anywhere with that.

"I see her a lot in school"
-If you tried to think less with your junk you'd probably realise you're both in the same class...

"She laughs at all my jokes"
-I'm pretty sure you're laughing at my jokes right now so if that means you love me then i'm impressed by your mental retardation.

"We have the same interest/likes and dislikes and I like to talk with her about it/them"
-Just off the top isn't that what best friends are for?

So..do you freaks get it now? It's the little things that make love, not the generalities...Hey look, I just said something sensitive, better go inform the over-talkative psychotic nymphos that I reluctantly call "gals" that I was right again...

Well this was another Metalhead308 theorem and I can only say this : "I'm wishing all of you retards hell O.o I'm just kidding I only hope you all get dumped on your birthdays..."
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