A man's jealousy fills his diary
|"Jealousy I had never fully comprehended.
A most destructive emotion potent in strength to bury any thing standing in its way with heaps of infernal coals, I could never sympathise with its possessor.
To destruct without due compensation is an act more foolish than asking after the newborn of a barren woman or looking for a chapter beyond the Relevations in the bible. The latter is stupidity, but the former a sin.
Forgive me Lord, the thing I most despised, I have given in to.
Of late, the princess of my heart has shifted her eyes from me. Eyes of whose expressions I thought only I alone was capable of reading and interpreting. Lips that told stories both delightful and didatic I thought were only spoken for my ears to hear. Clear skin with a soft, rosy tint I thought only I along had the privilege to feast upon.
Perhaps she had been a traveller, giving me the best time I ever knew in my life, but who ultimately had to reach her destination, which would never be by me side.
I feel like a petulant child. How cruel it is to gift a child with the best christmas toy he has ever received, only to wrench it from his clutches after he has grown fond affections towards it. It is better not to have given him that present at all. At least then, he would have been content with any toys holding interests of any sorts. Now, he could not but be perpetually restless. Powerless to reclaim what belonged to him, and put off by any toys under than his beloved, playing has now become a venom to his soul. He feeds himself the lethal concoction of wrath and injustice everyday. He is no longer the same. The damage is wrecked.
Was it my err? To have passed over the many chances I once had of ascertaining to her my deepest regards for her being. Was this God's punishment on me for being so stint in words of romance and affection. Propriety, surely, had no place between star-crossed lovers.
She was all that I ever truly wanted. She turned from my side to my best friend's clutches. The day I discovered the truth, I lost the most important people in my life all at once. A man cannot forgive betrayal. He is not born to forgive.
But even more than regret, I burn with a livid green."