This funny story tells how to attract girls with honey.
| Sex honey
All events and characters in the story are fictitious. The author bears no responsibility for random coincidence with real-life people, actual organizations and countries
Our company signed a contract on the delivery of electronic equipment with an Arab country. So after that the management and technical specialists - I was among them – visited it very often.
We were always given a cordial welcome. We lived in a real Arab palace with an enormous territory buried in verdure, flowers everywhere - on the lawns, trees and bushes. Their smell in the evening was unique and intoxicating.
There were several swimming pools, a tennis court and waterfalls. Beautiful peacocks walked around fluffing out their splendid tails.
At night the territory of the palace was lighted with electric lamps hanging on the trees, bushes and fountains. Snow-white houses skillfully lighted by projectors created an impression you were in one of the fairy tales of “A Thousand and One Night”. We were surprised that the beautiful oasis could exist in such a desert with nothing around but sand and heat. Later we noticed that transparent and thus invisible water tubes carefully connected fed every bush, tree and even a flower on a flower-bed. In the morning the gardeners and workers cleaned the large territory. We had never before seen anybody cut the grass with scissors! Looking at that one would wonder how could people create that beauty in a dead desert and revive their motherland land where they planned to live for a long time because it was.
Lots of technical specialists from the Arab company were our potential buyers and planned to use our equipment. So we gave lectures explaining how to handle it. Hot discussions during the lectures showed that the Arab technical specialists were well educated had good technical education. Most of them had studied at the higher educational institutions in England and spoke fluent English.
We carefully prepared for the lectures, made video films and used special programs with computer animation and modeling to demonstrate how effectively our systems could resist of a potential enemy attack. Our effort wasn’t in vain and our systems could model in detail the operation of the equipment in real time.
Every hour there was a 20 minute coffee break and we were invited into the next room. Plenty of Arabic sweets were served on carved wooden tables. There was coffee and Arabic tea with milk and spices, petits fours, exotic snacks with sea-food, juices and soft drinks.
At 01.00 p.m. there was lunch with various meat, fish dishes, salads seasoned with special Arabic souses made according to special Arabic recipes, desserts an cherry flambeau that was cooked right in front of us. Arabic sweets and fruits occupied a separate table.
That endless variety shocked the imagination of a Soviet man. Meat dishes should be mentioned separately. Arabs have a great skill in cooking them. They ordered special meat dishes for the honored guest: shish kebabs made of fish, chicken, lamb, beef, goat’s meat and dolma.
As rule they would rest till 5 p.m. and that was just enough .to digest everything we had eaten during the coffee break and lunch. It was terribly hot from early morning till sunset.
The thermometer often showed more than 50 degrees Celsius. Endless scientific discussions lasted till 7 p.m. We usually went to a restaurant either with the head of the company or with his partners and clients; sometimes they invited us home. They were curious about life in Russia and our personal life because those days Russians didn’t come there, except just a few who worked at the Russian Embassy.
I felt ill at ease every time we were invited somewhere because we didn’t bring any presents to our hospitable hosts. We couldn’t bring a traditional Russian present – a bottle of spirit - there was a strict prohibition in the country. Besides it was difficult to surprise the Arabs. Their wellbeing was perfect. Every family had a two or three-storied house, a car - Japanese or German as a rule. So how could we surprise them? It had to be some traditional Russian present but not a handicraft ware. Matryoshka couldn’t surprise anybody, they were sold even in the hotels. The decision was found unexpectedly.
A high state official of that country invited me home. I noticed paintings on the walls with the Russian landscape, mainly forests and fields. I asked why he collected those paintings and his answer was very simple. There were no forests in his country but only sand. People are always inclined to have something they don’t have, thus the decision about the present was taken very quickly.
Of course, it is rather difficult to transport paintings and it is necessary to complete various formalities at the customs. It’s easier to bring along books in English about Russian painting because a book is always the best present everyone will appreciate. Especially if it is interesting and handsomely got up. The person giving that gift unwillingly demonstrates his intellect and knowledge of art and architecture depicted in the book.
Anyway an old Russian tradition to bring food while visiting someone’s house didn’t give me a moment’s peace. As always an incident helped out of the problem. A large rat appeared in my country house. It even made friends with my lazy cat and managed to eat all his food from his bowl. I was sorry for him – he was always hungry and even lost his weight.
So I had to search for a devise that scared the rats away. Its not recommended to poison them – the awful odor will make you run away from the house. I found a firm in the Internet dealing in Chinese special sound generators. They make rodent run away to your neighbor. The company was located at the Exhibition of Economic Achievements in the pavilion with a symbolic name “Space”. Formerly space achievements of the Soviet Union were demonstrated there. There was a rocket on a pedestal near the pavilion placed there to reaffirm the reality of achievements demonstrated in the pavilion.
I bought that magic device and made up my mind to take a stroll along the exhibition recollecting the old days when lots of interesting industrial and agricultural displays made in the USSR could be seen there. From force of a habit I dropped in at the pavilion of Soviet electronic industry and was surprised to see honey of various brands was on sale there. I admire honey, so I thought that was my lucky day and I could make a reserve of natural honey. There were lots of wooden kegs decorated with miniatures from the Russian fairy tales and glass pots with honey on the glass shelves. There were pictures painted on the themes of Russian fairy tales на темы народных русских сказок Some of the kegs. They also sold wooden spoons and bowls decorated with miniatures painted by famous Russian painters of the Palekh school.
Eureka! That was what I wanted. I knew Arabs they liked honey very much. Walnut pastry and other sweets was made with a large amount of honey mainly brought from African countries. The quality of that honey is rather low and the cost is undoubtedly too high. Luckily there was a great variety of small 100 gram kegs and large barrels that could hold several kilos of honey.
I could make not expensive presents to all those who rendered us small favors when we went to that Arab country drivers technical assistants, носильщикам and others. That would be just a souvenir but people would remember our respect to them. It was forbidden to accept money from us - frankly speaking we didn’t have any money. So I could give a book on Russian art and of a keg of honey as a present. One had to take Arab way of thinking into consideration.
The higher the social status of a man in the country the more present he had to be given. The presents can’t be similar for everybody, you can hurt their feelings. It’s not the cost that counts but in the respect you are inclined to testify to a person. That’s why a set such as a book and of honey was an ideal gift. everybody will be notice Several books and a large amount of honey will. So such was the custom that every time we flew to that country we bought books and honey for presents. The team was large so there was no problem with overweight.
Everybody liked very much the Russian honey in exotic wooden kegs. No one in the country had such бочонков. Arabs even decorated their kitchens with them. Every time we were getting ready for the business trip our Arabic friends there asked us to bring them honey. They wanted to know more about life in Russia. Information given by the international agencies was very pretentious. Judging by the news from our country one could think there were only bandits, thieves, prostitutes and oligarchs who made great fortune and spent inconceivable amounts of money on luxury.
In the evening after a magnificent supper the head of the company invited us for a chat. We sat in a beautiful arbour near his house and drank coffee. Hubble-bubble and oriental sweets were offered to us..
Arabs are fond of discussing politics and other problems. Their ancestors were experienced traders and they can quickly define what kind of a person they are dealing with, whether they can trust him or not. Women are usually not present during conversations like that.
Once a host of the house Ali H., who had a high post at the firm we worked with asked why there were so many beggars in Russia where more oil and gas is was produced per capita than in any Arab country. Why did we have houses for the elderly people and for homeless children? There wasn’t anything like that in his country. Besides oil Russia possessed great resources of metal, gold, diamonds, wood and fish.
So why didn’t Russia produce anything? How can you consider a country to be great if it doesn’t have its own production? Japanese manufacture cars, electronics and they are sold everywhere. Germans have high quality communication equipment, chemical products and also cars. Emigrants living in that Arab country ride Chinese bicycles. Besides China manufactures toys and cheep electronics. But where are Russian products? What does Russia manufacture? It was difficult to argue and mention Russian military production, because the mighty American fleet was located not far from the Arab country, but nobody had heard about the Russian ships. Being experienced dealers Arabs have a very concrete way of thinking. It is difficult to in the argument with general considerations that we had been the first to launch a satellite and a cosmonaut into space. Let them have concrete modern achievements but not historical facts.
Naturally I couldn’t give an example like a tank or a fortiori a rocket but I didn’t want to surrender in the discussion. I was still a Russian patriot. So I started to wrack my brain what examples I could give to prove we didn’t only sell oil and gas but also manufactured something. I couldn’t think of anything else but yogurt and sausages.
Once I came to a State Department Store in Moscow. I didn’t see any Russian products there, all goods were imported. It was written in a book on the history of the CPSU that nothing except sewing needles was manufactured in the tsarist Russia. So I visited all the boutiques in the State Department Store but even home-made needles were nowhere to be found. That was really a hard task to prove the might of the Russian industry right on the spot without any preliminary preparation. I want to repeat: I didn’t want to surrender, because the aim of my visit was to introduce high a level technological product. Nevertheless I had nothing to object with.
As always a woman helped in a crisis situation. Ali’s wife often came to the arbour to inquire whether the guests wanted her to bring anything. She brought my keg with honey that I had given Ali as a present some time ago. Frankly speaking I was very sorry for my state. I looked at the honey and an unusual idea came to my mind. I remembered the Arabs like our honey very much. It was really good and it was manufactured in Russia. So in order to emphasize my argument about the concrete achievements of the Russian industry and to prove it wasn’t worse than in the West I looked at the honey and said that Russia is the only manufacturer of sex honey in the world.
My statement made the appropriate impression on Ali and his friends invited to supper. Foreign news agencies and Hollywood films learned to perfectly show the activities of Russian prostitutes. Using some mysterious sex methods they attracted respectable Western men into their nets to win them over to their side and make work for the Russian intelligence. Those films were made so professionally that many men dream of being recruited by the Russian intelligence at once!
The host of the house was really interested in the subject. He said something to his wife and judging by a few Arabic words I could understand he asked her not to enter the arbour for a while. Then he asked what was “sex honey”. I had no way out but to make up a story right on-the-run.
In 1917 after the Great October Revolution most of the Bolshevik leaders who had come to power were still young and intended to announce «free love» not to burden themselves with marriage ties. Noblemen were persecuted in Russia and most of young girls from noble families had to walk in the streets not to die from hunger. They couldn’t find any job due to their bourgeoisie origin. Many Bolshevik leaders were fond of love joys with noblewomen. But their broken health and sexual reaction suffered a lot during the revolutionary struggle, conquest of power, imprisonment, hard labor and terrorist acts. That was complete defeat of the proletariat in the fight against bourgeoisie. Something had to be done. It was a matter of principle, in fact it was a serious political matter. The easily inflammable bolshevik leaders couldn’t stand it. So they found the doctors and set a task of vital state importance.
They had to increase manifold their sexual potential otherwise they would be shot. The famous Russian doctors made a great number of experiments with various primates and found the way to implant orangoutang sexual glands to a number of party leaders. Thus the doctors saved their lives. but an unforeseen circumstance happened. The Bolshevik party leaders didn’t take into consideration that not only the orangoutang sexual glands were to be implanted but also a primate’s heart to endure a high body burden. That mistake was tragic for them.
Several members of the political bureou of the communist party died from heart attack. Nobody practiced heart implantation those days, that’s why in order to preserve the old Bolshevik personnel the political bureau of the communist party issued a decree. It prohibited the implantation of orangutang sexual glands to the management of the communist party.
Nevertheless some party leaders didn’t lose sexual attraction to young girls because of such a decree of the highest party organ.
They organized a special brigade that consisted of the foremost people in agriculture to grow a special plant. Bees would gather pollen from it and give sex honey to increase sexual reaction. By the way in ancient times people used to drink medovukha in Russia but not vodka. It was a honey potion. Even the tsar Ivan the Terrible considered it to be the strongest “love drink”. An old charter the bolsheviks found confiscating Rasputin’s belongings testified to the fact.
When I mentioned Rasputin’s name the Arabs’ faces lit. It was a response to a famous English movie about Rasputin’s adventures. So that group of farmers who joined the collective farm later on grew the so-called “Kremlin grass”. It was a plant sex honey was produced at.
I finished the story and felt I had produced an appropriate impression on my audience, though I didn’t have enough facts to prove my statement. Arabs are wise and words are not enough to convince them. They would prefer international and European medical research certificates and patents to prove my words. In order not to arouse distrust I said that the most outstanding achievements in science and technology were not patented in Russia.
I told them about Kalashnikov automatic machine gun to give and example. It was not patented in Russia that’s why it was widely used everywhere in the world. That was my strongest move. ход in that tiresome discussion. The authority of Kalashnikov’s machine gun is very high in the Arab countries and incontestable. Absolutely everyone there considers it to be the best weapon in the world. The host of the house argued that it was possible to test the effectiveness of the machine gun shooting the targets. So how could I prove the effectiveness of the sex honey?
Attaboy! he is getting at the root of the matter. It was just the same during the negotiations when they were taking the decision to use our equipment. W had to prove and confirm. But how can we prove it on practice? I cannot steal the electronic systems from their potential enemy to demonstrate how our systems can oppose them! The same was true with the sex honey. The permission of the state organs is required in the Arab countries to make medical experiments. It is a very long procedure that required a lot of documents. I could suggest somebody eating the honey, but I didn’t want to take a risk. A person could taste the honey and fall ill because of some other reason not because of the honey. They could make us answer for that at the police department what honey we had brought. No one knew how honey would affect a person. It seemed the Arabs accepted my arguments.
Arabs are good at intellectual debates. After all we decided that during my next visit I would prove theoretically the effectiveness of the sex honey on the sexual reaction of men.
“That’s another fine mess I've got myself in because of my partiotism!” – I thought returning from the meeting. “If I don’t bring the proof they may doubt our main business.”
In Moscow I gathered the scientific council of the company to decide how we could pull through that complicated situation. I confessed that I had honestly defended the flag of the Russian manufacturers and I couldn’t retreat. The prestige of the company could be compromised. We consulted about the problem for a long time but couldn’t find a way out. In fact we were not medics but electronic technology developers. When everybody were very tired the head of our marketing department, a nice 25-year old lady, took the floor.
- Let’s make a film with animation about sex honey like the film we had produced about our main system we have recently sold.
That was a fresh idea! That lady was responsible for our main presentation and coped with it perfectly together with our technical experts. A well-done presentation helped us to sell our system. The lady didn’t go to Arabic countries because they didn’t give visas to young single women. Thus she could create presentations freely bearing no responsibility for the effect of their demonstration.
There was another problem. Who could make the presentation? It had to be a highly professional specialist, sexual pathologist speaking fluent English, preferably with a master degree. He was supposed to answer tricky questions briskly and clearly. His appearance was also very important for the force of conviction. We intended to present a mysterious and unique Russian sex honey but not an agricultural product. Luckily, I thought of my friend M., a sexual pathologist, bachelor of medical science. He was a tall lean man of 45 with a head of wavy hair touched with grey and a thin aristocratic face. He used to speak in a quite voice and his imperious tone made the audience listen attentively to every word he pronounced. He looked perfect for his age. Many students and postgraduates from the medical institute where he taught were desperately in love with him.
They had never missed theoretical and practical classes he conducted. His father and grandfather were sexual pathologists too. He could skillfully control the attention of the audience using his good sense of humor and professionalism. M. was a member of a few dozens of international committees and sub-commissions dealing with sexual pathology and knew five languages. As far as I know he had learned one more while rendering medical assistance to a political leader who was in exile in Russia.
He was too busy so it was a problem to persuade him to go with us to the Arabic country. I postponed a talk with him. In the meantime we decided that C., the company scientific adviser, would be responsible for the preparation of the wonder-honey presentation. Y., deputy director in the field of science, was in charge of its production. We approved the budget for the project rather quickly.
Next day I called my friend, doctor M. and bearing in mind he admired the Italian cuisine I advised to meet in a cozy “Antinory” restaurant. I chose a method women always use. They persuade a man is via his stomach.
M. immediately rejected my proposal. He was very busy and crowds of Russian businessmen coming to see him. Most of them complained of sexual uncertainty and trusted only in Mongolian healers. So he received an order from the Academy of medical science to expose their methods. He had to learn the Mongolian language and often go to Mongolia. There was the only argument left to make my friend accompany me. I knew he was fond of all kinds of extreme sports from childhood. You name, he’s done it! He went skydiving in the Himalayan Mountains and wind-surfing among the sharks. So I told M. that Arab country was famous for another extreme sport - safari along the high quicksand in the desert. One never knows when he will be buried under the sand.
- Now I see! - he was really surprised. – I’ve never heard about it.
I chose the right way and hurried to order a dish with king prawns dropping a hint they were twice as large and fat in that country.
- And what about you? Have you gone to the sand dunes? - he asked me with distrust.
- Sure! – I lied at a moment’s notice.
- So what did you feel?
- The same as in the lift going down from the forty third floor when the ropes break suddenly. That competition is officially prohibited by the UN, because there are self-murderers among the extreme fans. So this Arab country is the only one in the world where you can experience it. That last argument crushed him in the dispute and he agreed to participate in the preparation of the presentation. We discussed the salary admiring his favorite Hennessy Timeless cognac.
Time is running quickly because of numerous business trips and the necessity to solve lots of business matters. A call from the head of the Arab company was really unexpected for me. I had to fly to the Arab country again. Next day another Arab called me. It was a host of the house that we had visited and discussed sex honey. He inquired politely whether I would bring the evidence the honey is effective.
- Of course! – I answered cheerfully though, frankly speaking, I had forgotten all about it.
I asked the deputy director on science to come up to my office. He reported that the presentation was ready but he didn’t have enough time to see it. It was too late to make any changes there.
«What will be will be, - I thought philosophically. – I’ll see the presentation together with the Arabs.»
I called doctor M. He said the presentation was ready and was up to the latest achievements in sexual pathology. He didn’t go in for details – lots of patients were waiting for him.
«I’ll have to get out of a scrape right over there,» - I decided.
His words about the latest achievements in sexual pathology put me on guard.
We got a cordial welcome as always. Our business was a success and we planned to sign the next agreement. I hoped the Arabs wouldn’t pay much attention at the sex honey but I was wrong.
On the third day of our visit the man whom I had argued with came up to me and informed that everything was ready for the presentation of sex honey the next day. I had to order the technical specialists to get ready all the necessary equipment.
I asked the senior engineer V. to do it. In the evening he came up to me and reported that the presentation was to be held the next day in a palace. All the equipment is tested. Everything is fine. The facility is large and seats nearly 250 people.
My heart jumped. I hoped the presentation will be made in a friendly atmosphere for a narrow circle, and a full-range conference was about to take place. The main point was I didn’t know who would attend. Anything may happen because Arabs have very big families.
Next morning they drove us to the palace. It was really splendid. Marble floor decorated with mosaic, huge chandeliers shone with hundreds of crystals. There were elegant lamps on the walls. High red wood doors were skillfully incrusted with carved ornaments.
The hall was full. The newcomers occupied the vacant seats exchanging greetings with their acquaintances. Obviously the interest to the presentation spread far beyond the limits of the company we worked with.
The head of the Arabic company invited me to sear beside him at a separate table. As it turned out we were face the audience. More and more guests arrived. The hall was so large that could seat five hundred persons. Technical specialists put microphones in front of us and plates with our names.
Doctor M. entered the hall. Apparently he lingered a while at the entrance to have a good look at the antique weapons on the walls. I called him up and invited to join us at our table.
The hall was well equipped. It was possible to show pictures on a plasmic screen from a few computers at a time and see a lot of different processes simultaneously. Besides a main screen in the center of the hall there were two smaller screens near it. Sound and image was controlled from the consoles and helped to demonstrate the presentation effectively.
In approximately 15 minutes the hall was full. There were nearly 300 people inside. The chairman, the head of the Arab company, took the floor and shortly explained in English that half a year before they had signed an agreement for the delivery of electronic equipment with the Russian company. It had fulfilled the agreement successfully and they were considering a new agreement for the development of electronic systems.. The Russian company would present its new development on the basis of nanotechnology, the Russian sex honey.
That was surely a hit below the belt! Of course I can understand the Arab company, they intended to raise to a highest level the prestige of the Russian company and their own. It is common knowledge an Arab can procure all the best and the most outstanding thing available in the world to show his exceptionality. Nevertheless they had to coordinate it with us in advance! I pinned all my hope on my friend. I looked at his calm face and realized that the mention of nanotechnologies didn’t confuse his at all. I started to blame myself that I couldn’t find the time to see the presentation to see where it was possible to mention nanotechnologies.
I took the floor after M.’s short speech, thanked the head of the Arab company for such a high honor to my firm as holding a scientific conference. I thanked all the guests for coming and spoke about their beautiful country, the wise leaders of their country and police and law enforcement organizations. They are always polite with foreigners although they may unintentionally violate some unknown Muslim law just because they may not know about it. I introduced them my friend and enumerated all his scientific and international awards.
I turned back to the chairman and saw he was satisfied with my speech. I felt relieved and hoped that the presentation would be a success and we wouldn’t violate their centuries-old foundations.
Doctor M. calmly approached the electronic white-board. (By the way it is a very convenient device. It makes it possible to save every recording in the computer and print it.) A shining pointer in his hand looked like a gladiator’s sward.
A small lotus pinned to a lapel of his jacket was a small microphone, so his words could be clearly heard everywhere in the hall. He greeted the audience with a slight nod and started the presentation in a grand manner like this.
- The latest scientific discoveries made during the archeological excavations convincingly testify to the fact that cave people were not indifferent to sex. Long ago a man wanted to understand his role in the sphere of sex.
«What a convincing beginning for a report, - I thought. – What a professional! We usually refer to the times of the pharaohs in our lectures on mathematics and M started from even more ancient historical period!»
So I calmed down a little feeling the support of such an expert.
– The first bashful attempts to study objectively the depths of human sexual psychology were made in the well-known treatises like the Indian “Kamasutra”, the Chinese “The bedroom art” and Ovidius’s “The science of love”. Epicurus (an ancient Greek philosopher, IV-Vth century BC) theory of ancestor memory had cardinally changed the existing vulgar conceptions on sex and made a foundation for the modern science of sexual pathology. I should say frankly that we couldn’t be able to understand the meaning of real sex in our lives without Epicurus’s fundamental studies and genius foreknowledge that has existed for ages. I shall not examine the everyday meaning of sex due to its everyday vulgarity. Only those people who are completely aware of all sexual feelings their ancestors have felt may call themselves sexually spiritual people.
With those words doctor M. looked at the people who were attentively listening to him and tried to define whether there were sexually spiritual people among them. It was clear the audience didn’t expect to hear anything like that/ Judging by the nervous whisper it was clear all those present were far from perfection. Nevertheless the opening horizons and practical perspectives had strongly exited them. M. felt he had managed to attract their attention and continued.
- Unfortunately an era of dirty sexual ignorance began after Epicurus and lasted for many ages. The Russian tsar Ivan the Terrible was the first who decided to come up from it. As you may remember, the most outstanding discoveries were made absolutely by chance. They were a result of some events that affected a human head of an ancient man. That was what happened to Newton who opened a gravitation law after an apple had fallen on his head. The same happened with the Russian tsar Ivan the Terrible when the well-known drink medovukha hit him in the head. Naturally, I respect the Muslim law that prohibits drinking spirit. But there are old Russian recipes how to make a honey drink that contains not a single drop of spirit!
With those words the audience sighed with relief.
- In the times of Epicurus people thought that there are honey rivers in the after death heavenly world. That is why bees may be considered to be insects getting honey from that heavenly river. The souls of the dead are floating along it cleansing them from all their sexual feelings. Thus Epicurus connected the honey drink with the beyond world where the souls of the dead existed to receive the information about their sexual feelings. As we know from the ancient Russian documents Ivan the terrible was the first to perceive the sexual feelings of his father - Basil the Third.
Naturally those were only the initial steps in the emerging science of sexual pathology. It was difficult to expect any outstanding results those times, but the main point is that the discoveries were made in Russia owing to the popular honey drink!
The audience started to applause having realized that sexual pathology had made new grand discoveries in that direction.
- It is impossible to make a short overview of the history of sexual pathology without the mention of an eminent scientist Sigmund Freud. His famous discovery stating that sexual deviations and perversions are the main step to discover sexual spirituality had radically changed all the dogmas accepted before.
The hall grew quite feeling they participated in something great that was absolutely unknown and absolutely incomprehensible for them. I haven’t heard anything like that anywhere before.
- Now lets start the presentation of our production, – doctor M. said evidently happy with the success he had achieved..
«The beginning of the presentation has been worked out correctly according to the concept our company usually adheres to presenting our main products. There was a short historical overview, a detailed report on the great scientific discoveries and the mention that the most outstanding scientific discoveries were made in Russia. There was also an obligatory reference that later on the eminent scientists in the West acknowledged those discoveries. At the end a film about our production was demonstrated. I calmed down even more and even forgot about nanotechnologies. In a few minutes it became dark in the hall and a film about the production of nano sex honey in Russia began.
A boundless Russian field. Various cereals are swaying in the slight wind creating a picturesque wave. The sun is shining brightly. The birds are twittering happily flying above the field. The captivating picture is filled with peace and conciliation.
The next shot. A nice boy of fourteen appears in the scene. He is dressed in a red satin shirt with wide sleeves. He has yellow chamois high boots. A forelock of unruly hair struggles out from a green peaked hat carelessly put on his head. A big bull is carefully going after the boy. The boy is feeding the bull with a piece of brown bread with salt and the bull is eating it carefully.
I was very surprised with the picture. What a swing of Russian spaciousness!
The boy and the bull are slowly pass the herd of white cows peacefully nibbling the grass.
«Nice cows! They look so well in the green grass!» – I thought touched with the scene.
Obediently walking after the boy the bull approaches the gates of a wooden yard with a sign in English “The Kremlin grass”. A guard – an old man of ninety dressed in a sheepskin coat and a Berdan rifle behind his back – comes up with small steps to the doors of the yard. The boy takes a knapsack from his shoulder and takes out in a grand manner a red velvet file.
There is a big Russian State emblem in the center of the file. The old man put on his pince-nez and studies the paper for a long time. Then he takes out a small piece of paper folded four times from his pocket. He unfolds it and carefully collated the signatures on his paper and on the boy’s document.
After the signatures are verified he sends the boy to his stone house surrounded with an impressive fence. When the boy is in a safe place he lets the bull in and quickly goes to the house.
The next shot. The bull starts eating the “Kremlin grass”. At first nothing happens, but the more grass he eats the more nervously he is moving his legs and looking around. Soon he runs out of the gates and rushes to the cows peacefully pasturing in the field and expecting nothing bad. . He covers one cow after another. Suddenly a heartbreaking cry is heard: the scientific adviser C. cries out in Russian:
- Pull that beast away quickly, militia is coming!
«Well, that was a sound control supervisor’s fault, - I thought.
That scene gives place to the next one. A bee flies up to a flower, sits down on its petal and reaches a shining spot with its proboscis. An arrow point to a sign in English “a nano particle”. The bee mixes the nano particle with the flower pollen and flies to the hive.
A picture above: a swarm of computer bees is collecting the nano sex honey.
«The designers are up to the mark, - I thought. – The managed to put it into the presentation and didn’t let the firm down. They deserve a bonus.»
Then come peaceful and cheerful pictures showing how honey is collected. Beautiful models in bikinis are pack the honey flattering the bull.
That was the end of the film.
When the lights were switched on the hall I could see that the film had produced a great impression.
Doctor M. asked:
- Are there any questions. I shall answer them and then I will pass over the main theme. I shall prove scientifically the effectiveness of the nano sex honey on human sexual activity.
A few people rose their hands. An Arab dressed in long white clothes asked:
- Tell me please how much Klemlin grass should a person eat to cure impotence? – and then added after a pause:
- A friend of mine asked me to find it out, he is busy and couldn’t come.
Doctor M. smiled and explained:
- People don’t eat the grass. They eat the nano sex honey honeybees collect with pollen and nano particles. The film is designed to show the production of the nano sex honey. A scientific medical experiment is demonstrated to show that medical substances are tested on animals according to the international demands on preliminary tests.
You saw that the bull is safe and sound and is running cheerfully in the field ready for the next experiments. It means the raw material the honey is produced from is harmless for people. We made a lot of experiments with different animals to prove it. The results were positive. The immediate astonishing sexual effect strengthened many times by the sexual feelings of the forefathers of those animals. That is why we had to take extra precautions. Besides it is better to show the experiments with large animals in a film than with rodents. The sexual power the animals gained with the grass was very strong. You saw people had to hide from them behind the steel array.
The Arab was satisfied with the answer and took his seat. Another man dressed in light-brown clothes decorated with gold rose from his seat and asked a tricky question:
- What is the procedure of putting nano particles on flowers?
Doctor M. explained it was our know-how and we were ready to discuss this technology after signing an NDA with them if we receive the permission of the Russian government. The birth rate in Russia is decreasing and it considers this technology to be strategic. It is even referred to weapons.
That was really a worthy answer to an Arabic state official.
- Why did they call the Russian police in the film? – an Arab asked who seemed to be from law-enforcement organs.
«They are always controlling everything. Their vigilance is on a high level,” – I thought.
I had to take the lead. I apologized for intruding into a discussion and said it was a political matter and I should answer it personally as a head of the company.
- That plant is producing strategic raw material for Russia. According to the Russian legislation it is guarded by the police, or militia as we call them in Russian. There are a lot of people who want to penetrate into the plant and steal the sex honey. We call them “beasts” in Russian. So when the local guards can’t manage the thieves, or else the beasts, they call militia.
The representative from the law enforcement organs appreciated the answer. Then the head of the Arab company Ali X. took the floor. He suggested to make a half an hour break for a snack and then to continue the conference.
Doctor M. was a real star during the break. People were crowding beside him eager to make an acquaintance. Lots of people were holding out their visiting cards to my friend and he gave them his cards taking them out of a thin golden box.
Everything seemed to go well. I was only anxious how the most important part of our presentation was made and how it was theoretically proved there the sex honey was really effective.
The film was good. A beautiful Russian field behind a wooden fence and our highly technological production was demonstrated, but unfortunately a very old guard was chosen maybe due to the limited budget. It’s difficult to blame anybody for saving the company money.
The main hero of the film – the courageous bull – was wonderful and all the drawbacks of the presentation seemed to be nothing against that background.
We had a very cogent argument verifying the high effectiveness of our equipment when we convinced our clients to procure our electronic systems. It was a special computer program that simulated the system operation affected by numerous attacks of a possible enemy. The attacks were also modeled on a computer.
Unfortunately I didn’t manage to see the presentation in the plane. I was busy with the documents on our main business. As for doctor M. he spent all the time in the quicksands admiring the safari. I failed to discuss the details of the presentation with M. during the conference or a break.
Ali X. was very satisfied with M.’s speech. He came up to me and said the beginning of the conference was just great, that everybody are eagerly waiting for the continuation. Then he asked what the second part would be about.
- Will you show a wonderful computer animation as you always do?
- I hope so, – I replied a bit irresolutely. - Why did you announce the nano sex honey though we spoke only about sex honey? We have never discussed the nano sex honey with you. You could compromise us because we didn’t have time to get ready for the discussion of such a serious matter. People may have a false impression about us. How did you learn that we had that honey?
- All international agencies are writing that Russians are investing tremendous amounts of money in the development of nanotechnologies. So I thought your highly technological enterprise produces all the products using nanotechnology.
That was really an adequate answer. Recollecting the scientific and technical achievements of the Soviet Union the Arabs think we have some extraordinary technologies we made secret of. On the one hand, they liked it because they were fond of all kinds of secrecy. On the other hand, they wanted to worm our know-how out of us. The declaration at the beginning of the conference was an attempt to make us speak about our latest technological achievements.
I answered there wouldn’t be enough monitors in the hall to demonstrate the effectiveness of the nano sex honey. We needed three more. I was concerned there could be some faults in the presentation. Then I could explain there weren’t enough monitors in the hall. At least it could be an explanation in case the presentation was messed up.
Ali replied that was not a problem. In ten minutes the monitors were brought into the hall, though the presentation was postponed for twenty minutes. My specialists had to arrange the hook-up.
Ali explained to the audience that at his request the Russians agreed to show the extended version of the presentation and it would be demonstrated there for the first time!
After a break everybody returned to their seats. Doctor M. sat in front of the numerous monitors. He looked like James Bond in the Russian President situation center.
- It is impossible to estimate correctly the function of the modern high-technology systems, including 6G jet fighters, financial crisis and of course medicine without computer simulation and imitation systems. They are even more important to analyze a male sexual capabilities since the physical and the psychological state of a person should be modeled.
It is called “the creation of artificial multidimensional sexual space”. It is possible to estimate effectively the physical and psychological effects of various female sexual attacks reconstructed on a computer in such a virtual space. Thus it is possible to examine how the nano sex honey effects a male psychological and physical state.
A virtual multidimensional picture of a male and his physiological processes will be demonstrated on the largest central plasmic screen. You will see the diagrams and tables with numerical data on the other screen. They indicate the sexual state depending on the external influence. We can also show in detail the most important human organs affected by nano sex honey.
The screen to your left shows the animation picture of a male and the surroundings. The screen to your right models female sexual attacks. Two additional screens recently brought in enable us to correct the male sexual spirituality based on his sexual fantasies. The encephalogram of his brain activity gives this information. All the processes shown on the screens are connected to an integrated control program. The results of the tests may be seen on the screens and are saved in the computer memory for further research.
Doctor M. briefly explained the procedures of the analysis and started an experiment.
A man appeared on the left monitor. He looked like the scientific adviser C. He was sat at the table looking through the papers and speaking on the phone.
There was his virtual multidimensional picture on the central monitor. Dynamic diagrams and tables showed his blood pressure, cholesterol level in his blood and lots of other parameters.
There was a picture of a starry sky on the rest of the screens.
A few minutes later a long-legged full-bosomed woman dressed in a mini skirt appeared on the screen of the left monitor. She brought some documents for a man. The man’s dynamic parameters on the central screen were the same. The woman started to walk along the room bending and searching for something on the floor. Then the woman left the room and a broad-shouldered man with a square face came in carrying a tray with a meal.
«Good guys, - I thought, - Arabs have the same rule. Only males brought food for us.»
The man put the tray on the table and left. The man at the table took a spoon and slowly started to eat the soup looking at the screen of his computer.
The central screen immediately showed the digesting process. There was the amount and the element composition of food the man was taking up. After the man had finished the meal a large bed with a big pillow appeared on the two monitors reflecting his sexual fantasies. A few minutes later a man took a cup – with tea evidently – and made a gulp.
The central monitor showed that the man’s temperature rose. The modeling program immediately reacted to the incoming parameters.
I noted that the presentation was made correctly.
A man spooned up some the liquid from a saucer. An arrow on the screen pointed to a sign in English “nano sex honey”. The man ate it and affected his nervous cells. Doctor M. explained dispassionately that the nano sex honey had stimulated them and the impulse spread quickly to the center of the brain. He pointed to its aim with his laser pointer.
The impulse reached the man’s brain. The picture of Merelyn Monroe with an enormous bosom appeared on the right screen. The animation man’s whiskers on the left screen rose.
« Here is another mistake the head of the marketing department made. It is evident she hadn’t received visas to Arabic countries. Arabs don’t wear whiskers like that. She went on a business trip to Latin America recently. Maybe the image is of that origin? – I guessed. - Still the idea is correct, everything rises.
There was something extraordinary on the screens. I had an impression doctor M. had managed to include all diploma works, candidate and doctoral theses and even yearly assays written in the medical institute where he worked. Besides he included the data of all researches made by international committees he participated in.
The subjects on all the five screens changed reflecting male and female centuries-old sexual achievements. It’s impossible to enumerate them! One had to see it! Some phrases doctor M. had said clearly stamped in my memory. For example the critical moment of the phallus rotation during specific sexual poses that may cause paraphilia to car tires.
Impressive pictures flickered on the screens to the left and to the right. The temperature of the virtual man’s brain shown on the right screen started to rise. Then yearly tables and diagrams appeared on the screen in the mode of emerging windows indicating the countries and the number of sick people there that increased by 10% annually.
The audience cried out terror-struck. Thanks to the nano sex honey the virtual man’s organs managed to fight the illness and preserve stability and improbable inflexibility towards the affect of various female virtual space models.
Strange silence fell in the hall when doctor M. finished his speech. It seemed everybody calmed down dumbfound by the revelation of the future life. It looked as if a contemporary man visited king Ludwig IV and showed him the series of “Sex and the city” on a portable video cassette recorder.
I was afraid Ali would add something else that would be really impossible to explain I took advantage of the standstill and on behalf of my company thanked the audience for attention to our perspective product.
- It is still an experimental product and requires improvement. Only then it will be produced serially. Unfortunately there are international limitations for its sale. At the beginning of the 1990-s when nano particles hadn’t been discovered Russia signed an international agreement with many countries restricting the export of nano particles of that size. It is impossible to produce the real sex honey using nano particles of a smaller size!
After I had concluded my speech Ali thanked us on his own behalf and on the behalf of all the guests for the great impression our presentation had produced. He said he hoped that soon all the ceilings on the export of nano particles of all sized would be lifted.
With that the conference was over.
Lots of Arabs came up to me after it asking to find a possibility to procure the nano sex honey. I categorically refused referring to the prohibition of the Russian legislation. Evidently they were disappointed, went to Ali X. and discussed something with him in Arabic gesticulating a lot.
In the evening Ali invited me home. He started from afar saying we could become rich selling that wonderful nano sex honey. I refused point-blank again. Ali asked if he could purchase sex honey. I answered he couldn’t and referred to the strict Russian customs control..
- Is it possible to buy the honey from the bees collecting pollen near the “Kremlin grass”?
- I think I can obtain that honey.
I recollected that soon we planned to sign an agreement for the delivery of electronic devices with his company, that’s why I didn’t want to upset him too much.
- Will it resemble just a wee bit the “Kremlin grass” honey?
- I can’t guarantee anything, but it will really be much better and cheaper than the South African honey sold here!
We settled on that. In a few days I delivered several tons of perfect Russian honey to that Arab country. It was bought up at once.
The expense for the presentation of the nano sex honey and the fee paid to doctor M. was covered and still there was some money left for a good vacation with my friends. I told them about my adventures and we laughed at the funny incidents connected with the production of electronic devices.
Doctor M. started the negotiations with the richest Arabic sheikh about the opening of a large medical center in the Middle East. They suggest he could be the head of it. When I meet M. he says there is a big future in store for the computer modeling of the psychology of human behavior. The creation of the nano sex honey is really an interesting idea because honey has been used to increase sexual energy for a long time.
Perhaps soon the nano sex honey will be invented.
It was possible to continue the delivery of honey to the Arab country for there was no end of the people eager to buy it. Maybe Ali spread the information about the wonderful Russian honey? I don’t know for sure. It was very delicious. However the Russian customs require lots of certificates and information about the honey and I’m not interested in gathering them.
A new contract with Ali X. has been successfully signed.