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Rated: 18+ · Chapter · Comedy · #1542388
The 1st TDA fanfic here! I know it's brief, but I promise the others will be longer. x3
My name is Lunatic Fringe. It isn't my real name but I'm known world-wide for my surprisingly un-successful suicide attempts pulled in a maid's outfit. Pushing a hundred attempts I find an interesting offer in the mail. It was a letter.

Dear Lunatic,

My name is Chris McClean from Total Drama Action and Total Drama Island. Currently our ratings are dropping and if you want you can join us, it'd really help alot.

I'll make it worth your while. $$$

Yours Truly,
Chris McClean

'Holy Pop-Tart in a pencil sharpener! I could use some money.' I thought to myself. Chris' phone number was printed on the bottom. I called. He answered the phone. "Chris?" I asked after hearing the ringing go off,
"Yeah, who is this?" Chris questioned.
"Lunatic Fringe," was my reply. He spit something out into the phone, I supposed it was coffee in his surprise. "How much money are we talking about?" I interrogated.

"I'll give you $25,000 if you go on the show, and an extra $1,000,000 if you win."
I thought to myself, 'A million dollars is alot of cash. Best of all, win or lose I still get big bucks. And, Total Drama Action is a reality show right? With lots of people my age...' I have no friends. There was one. But we just lost touch because he got on the show. "I'll pack my bags and be right on my way! Have a bus come over to my house to take me to the set." I screamed excitedly into the phone. I can't believe it! I actually had a chance to make some actual friends! I can't wait to see Duncan again!

I stepped off the bus in the middle of the night. The dark scene that approached me was an old film set. "Be very careful to getting in your position." Chris whispered. I nodded as Chris led me to the set for an alien movie. Supposedly the season already started. I heard a rumor online that the second episode was an alien challenge. At the set I spent the night in something close in appearance to a human test tube in Area 51.

I woke up at 1 PM to DJ, Trent, Duncan and Gwen from the show. "Why don't we just break it open?" Trent suggested. I remained silent. "We can't. The tube's made out of rubber." Gwen answered. This was sad. I spoke up. "Just twist the lid off-" The tube must've been sound-proof from the inside since everyone ignored me when I was yelling. Then, Duncan and Trent started carrying the tube.

It was hard to completely figure out what was going on. All I knew was that I was an objective to an alien challenge. In the challenge, it seemed like they had to grab alien eggs and me back to the trailers.

There we're three eggs left. Chef was dressed as an alien with a paintball gun. If you got hit with paint you we're out. DJ was the first I saw to get hit. Duncan got hit after Chris landed what looked like paint bombs in the area. Chef broke an egg. While there were two eggs left, Trent grabbed them, and tossed one to Gwen.

Apparently, they we're the only two who didn't get hit. So they won. Forcing them to compete against each other. I got tired of not being able to speak so I banged on the rubber tube.

When Chris started realizing I was in the tube he took out a doll-sized hammer, tapped the rubber tube ever so slightly, and I was freed. "Hey." I said when people could finally hear me. Owen rushed to me shaking my hand like he was about to hit a pinata.

"Hi! I'm Owen! It's so awesome to meet you!" he yelled excitedly. I broke free of his grasp. "No need for introductions, I actually watch TV...gasp." I remarked sarcastically. "You all know who I am so, don't call me crazy, call me Lunie." (Make-Up Confessionals - Lunie) "Yup. I just proved that my sense of humor, sucks." Then I put my thumbs up with a large grin. (Make-Up Confessionals - Duncan) "I can't believe it! They got Lunatic Fringe. I remember when I spent about 3 months with her in the slammer. She's the best." (Make-Up Confessionals - Gwen) "Wow. Now I feel like a real star's on the show."

We were eating, and that was less chaotic then I thought. Chef put a pile of crap on my plate. "Is this even edible?" I questioned myself. "Just because you suppose you're some big star doesn't mean you're gonna get any caviar or lobster bisque. Live with it like the rest of us." Heather commented. "Actually, I never did." I answered. I gave her the Vietnamese version of fuck you in sign language. "You'll get used to the Puke Cafe." Duncan remarked. "If you say so." I sighed.

(Make-Up Confessionals - Lunie) "Believe it or not, I actually kind of hate Duncan. He won't leave me alone, spoiled one of my suicide attempts here, took my butterfly knife, those kinds of things." I walked three steps towards the table Gwen was sitting at, then stopped. Duncan stopped at the same time. "Stalker." I remarked. "You know we all sit at the same table." He pointed out.

"Yeah, but you don't stop at the same time I do." I argued. "Guys, just break it up!" Gwen was trying to calm down the fight. (Make-Up Confessionals - Duncan) "Give me one good reason why Lunie hates me so much. Probably another premadonna celeb. Oh well. I don't even care." He started drooling. Gwen started whispering to me. "Why do you hate Duncan so much?" "He won't let me die!" I whispered angrily. Duncan looked at me like I was nuts. I clearly whispered loud enough. (Make-Up Confessionals - Duncan) "Ask, and answer."

Gwen bopped me upside the head like I was losing my mind. "He likes you, stupid!" Gwen's voice grew louder. I saw some mouths drop, including Gwen's, Duncan's, even my own. Then Duncan closed his mouth and acted like nothing happened, while blushing. Which was kind of sad to me, I believe that's a sign of semi-denial.

But, I guess we all have our quirks. Either way, he's still my bud. I'm sure he'll get over it and it will all be normal tomorrow.

© Copyright 2009 Luna Kimi (lunatic-fringe at Writing.Com). All rights reserved.
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