This is an article I wrote giving pointers on saving a relationship after cheating.
|It seems like too often I’m hearing about couples falling apart because of cheating. I’ve had so many inquiries lately from people asking advice on how to save a relationship after cheating. I wish that I had a magic wand that I could wave in the air and make everything better, but I don’t. What I do have though is advice that I’ve seen work well for those that are willing to try it.
After cheating has occurred the first thing that a couple (any couple) needs to do is take a step back and evaluate the relationship. It’s not for me to delegate blame to one person or the other. Obviously, the person(s) who cheated were in the wrong, but there are reasons behind why people cheat. The only way to move forward in a relationship that’s suffered any infidelity is to figure out why it happened.
There is no good reason or good excuse for cheating, but we’re all human and make mistakes. A great way to evaluate the relationship and decide the best approach is to make a list of pros and cons. Why did the cheating occur? Where did the relationship go wrong? Why do you want to be together? If a person finds themselves wanting to stay together after an infidelity there is a lot of work to be done, starting with rebuilding trust and communication.
Communication is important in any relationship because last I heard not very many people are actually able to read minds. Avoid fights by talking to each other, sounds crazy I know! If necessary set ground rules for conversations such as: no interrupting, no yelling, etc. It’s amazing to see how much better things can get when talking gets brought back into the relationship.
Trust is the biggest obstacle in a cheating situation. But like I said, communication will help greatly with this if both people are willing to try it. The great thing about communication and figuring out why the cheating occurred is that now both sides are on the same page. If somebody cheated because their partner worked fourteen hours a day and only came home to pass out, now they know what to avoid in the future. Trust takes time to rebuild, but hopefully in the process a couple can rediscover each other and make sure there are no further catastrophes.
Every situation is different, but one thing I tell everyone I talk to about this is to set goals. Each person needs to set goals for themselves for the short term/long term, and as a couple they need to sit down and establish goals for the short term/long term. When things get rough try to keep a positive attitude and focus on the goals that were set for the future.
I hope this advice has helped, and while I don’t know you I want you to know I understand how you feel and the situation you’re in. I wish I could tell you that relationships are easy, but I can’t. Anything worth having is worth working for though, and the great thing about the things I’ve shown you is that they all strengthen your relationship. I’ve sent many of my friends to the website http://www.themagicofmakingupstore.info, and have been thanked countless times. I hope this information helps you as much as I’ve seen it help others.
Originally, I published this article under my pen name which is H.W. Storm