A romance fantasy
The room was dark to my eyes. My body hurt all over, so I knew I had been unconscious yet again. The other bruises had just started to heal from the last beating.
I focused on moving each part of my body separately to check for broken bones and was surprised to find none. That was a change.
While under my assessment, I realized that I couldn’t do this anymore. It was getting out of hand. I couldn’t live with my mother since she was in jail, again, for another drug charge I knew her fully guilty of. My father was the only other option I had and he was the reason I was like this, examining injuries to diagnose how hurt I was.
It was pointless to fight it since this was supposed to be my fate. I heard from my, now, long dead grandmother that he wasn’t always like this, but after my mother started her drug abuse, he got his own bad habits; one involved abusing me and my little sister. I have tried to protect her, but it all comes down to the same thing… me unconscious, like now, and slowly coming back to my senses. He only did this when he got angry and he only got angry when he went overboard with his other bad habit, alcohol. I tried to keep him away from it, but then he still got angry and hurt us.
He told me one night when he was sober that he hurt inside after he realized what he did. I believed him at first, but after he started the new bad habit some years ago, I knew he lied to justify his choices to himself and me. He knew what he did because he always left bruises where they could be easily hidden.
This new habit of his was worse than the bruises because those were on the outside. This hurt me and me only, so I endured it in silence for my little sister.
Mercy wouldn’t be able to understand what I did was for her, since she was so young. Her six year old mind couldn’t comprehend what she did wrong when her daddy hit her, so I knew she couldn’t grasp rape. I would tolerate it for her because she was all the family I had left in the world. If anyone knew, we would be taken away from our father, but also taken away from each other. I couldn’t do that to her.
An upside was that she was more ignored than I, so she was safer. I wanted to believe my father didn’t feel comfortable abusing a six year old who was barely past infanthood in his eyes. It wasn’t that, though. I was more amusing because I fought back more and I think he enjoyed a challenge where it presented itself because that’s who I got it from.
Even with my little sister to protect, I had to leave this situation, because if I didn’t, I wouldn’t make it to adulthood.
I will take Mercy and run somewhere else because if I was gone, all my father’s anger would go to Mercy who couldn’t handle it. That was my view.
After I was able to move, I got up slowly, so I didn’t strain anything. I gathered my bag and threw clothes into it. I flung my toothbrush and hair brush into my bag and any personal items I wanted to bring along and fastened my bag. I did the same for Mercy’s belongings since we shared a room. Mercy watched with frightened eyes and she trembled all over like she always did after I went out cold. She would for awhile yet, until I comforted her.
“What you doing, Roxy?” Her quivering little voice was painful to hear and it broke my heart to think how she would turn out since all this violence was brought to her at such a young age. She might turn out better given that I’m taking her away. She was still young.
“We are leaving Mercy. We are going away where you won’t get hurt again.” I didn’t know where, exactly, we would go, but it would be somewhere that she wouldn’t get harmed. That’s all that mattered to me.
“What ‘bout you? Will you hurt more?” Her question caught me off guard. I rushed to her, scooping her up in my arms, and hugged her to my chest.
“I’ll be fine. Don’t worry about me, hun. It’ll all be fine after we leave.
“It will be after dark, when I can get the keys to the car, when Daddy’s asleep. Can you keep this quiet? He can’t know what’s going on. Can you do this to protect us?” I felt her nod her little head and finished packing with her still in my arms. It hurt to hold her physically, but hurt more, emotionally, to put her down. I held the physical pain inside, to keep her safe.
When the bags were packed, I kicked them under my bed, to hide them from the monster who was somewhere in the house.
I had an idea. I would put sleeping pills in my father’s drink during dinner. Since I cooked, it wouldn’t be hard and I could leave that much sooner.
I made a quick dinner of tacos and slipped cold medicine into his bourbon. It was that stuff that didn’t have color or flavor, so it would be hard to detect.
My dark hair was full in front of my face when I served my father. He grabbed it and pulled me close roughly. I held in my shriek that bubbled up in my throat.
“Roxanne,” he crooned my name and his alcohol breath rolled over me. I swallowed the urge to throw up and the scream with it. “Pretty Roxanne. You are such a naughty child. You know I love Mexican food. Are you doin’ this to soften me up for tonight? I knew you loved me.” He crushed my lips to his and I winced. His bristly face scratched against mine and I couldn’t even pull away; I tried.
When he let go, I shot out of his reach. “Just eat your food.” I snapped at him. He made me so angry. He was my father, but he didn’t think of me as his daughter. Not even counting the fact that he was three times my own age.
My green eyes studied him as he dug into his food like a starving wolf with no manners. It was disgusting to watch, but I waited for him to take a gulp from his drink next to his hand.
Finishing food first, he patted his full belly while he finished his drink.
I sighed in relief and moved my eyes to watch Mercy who ate happily now that she was about to be withdrawn from this household. I was so protective of her, I knew, but I was the one who raised her since Mother didn’t want anything to do with us. She was mine and I loved her. As I watched her, I realized that I could go to the police ad when we were placed in a foster home or orphanage, we could be a package deal. If no one wanted to adopt us, as soon as I turn eighteen, I would adopt her as my own. It made me happier to realize this.
My father was soon asleep on the recliner he sat in to watch television and the keys were on the table beside him. I quietly took them and ran back to my room to gather the bags and my precious bundle who had the same black hair and bright green eyes as me; my beautiful little girl who was mine to take care of and protect. I figured this was what a mother felt of her daughter, but Mercy and I had more of a bond than a mother a daughter. I couldn’t explain it, but it was there.
Mercy was quiet on the silver Taurus we rode in together. She sat in the back in her car seat while I drove down the dark, wet road. Rain pattered relentlessly on the hood and roof. I jumped at every headlight seen in the side mirror until I realized it wouldn’t be a ruthless father chasing after his runaways.
I didn’t relax until I turned into the police station.