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Rated: 18+ · Monologue · Emotional · #1565634
Philosophical look into sports...
         In my life that expands 29 years until now (well, almost 29), I've seen many, many, many pains. Those pains actually range from simple words that got stuck up in my mind like a glue, or to physical pains due to my awkward movement. It's not my fault that I'm a lefty and living in a right-handed world!

         However, one of the things that really got my soul out into the hell directly while living among the “normal” people was, comments about my body and me being... fat. Yes … I am fat! Until this very day, and I'm reaching my 29, I still meet people (mainly relatives in the family) that advise me to go to the gym and do some sport and run and bla and bla and bla... . The amazing thing is, they are fat themselves! Imagine youself being mocked at by someone who is actually in the same shoes as you are!

         OK, let's just stop for a moment and think about how life goes. Mainly, my life I mean. Morning time til afternoon, I'm at work. I get back from work, with such a nice heat from the beautiful sun and I can barely drive my car, not because I'm extremely tired, but because I'm swimming in a lake of my sweat! Naturally, the first thing I would meet in my beautiful home is the bed (yes before even thinking about a shower!). I wake up, and it is already the night time, with a really bad mood (the effect of the afternoon sleeping), and yet, I might as well work on the pc and doing stuff here and there and yet I cannot move much because of the headache. Weekends, the situation is a bit different, since I sleep as much as I can and then go out by night... don't tell me I don't need this, please!

         Now, how the hell I'm going to manage with a gym? Again, let's check the situation: I need to go to the gym, but I'm sleeping, why? 'cause I'm tired, why? 'cause I was at work. Thus, I reached the conclusion, that to be in a better shape, you have to stop working. Tata! And here we reach the compromise: your shape, or your money, which one would you choose? Personally, I chose money. What's the point in being in a good shape if you don't have a penny? On the other hand, you can have people to accept whatever shape you have, if you have money!! Thus, I can have a better shape without moving a muscle in my body! Brilliant, isn't it?

         Then, away from not going to the gym, people ask me “how come you don't watch sports?” Well, I didn't know it is one of the seven sins! Or was it one of the ten commandments? “Thou shall watch ESPN”? Blah! Ironically enough, most people I know who watch sports, are fat. The stupidity reached a depth that I did not know before man, you can lose calories by watching a game on TV! I was hoping for a hi-tech future, better than this! Then, what are sports? Let's think about the sports in a philosophical way a little bit. What's the meaning of watching one or two or more guys hitting each other or running around and yelling, or whatever? This is not correct! Wake up people! OK, here what I think about some of the sports...

1.Football. Once you say this word, everyone would stare at you and say “soccer? Or american?”... c'mon for God's sake, I said football! Why should I call it soccer? Then, I didn't say it is “american” football! So what you are supposed to understand? Football! A ball kicked by the foot!

2.American Football. Hilarious! Why does it have this name even? Players catch it from hand to hand and knock it down on the line! Why, what's wrong people? Got something against the ball or something? Then, how do you call an oval thing a ball even?!

3.Basketball. The game of the racial discrimination. I don't remember someone short been enjoying this! I wonder if those people throwing the ball from one half of the playground to the other and put it directly into the basket, how would they do if they joined the army? Or the air force? Would they hit with the same precision? The last thing I want to imagine is to see Michael Jordan going back to his base earlier than planned, Oh! What's wrong Mike? Well, sorry pal the quarter time is over. Do they have a time-out in the time of war? Just wondering.

4.Hockey. I do have a belief about this game... all people playing it will get out of the playground as cats or dogs. They bend their backs all the time man! And chase a tiny ball! The funny thing is, there is a goalkeeper as well! Does it matter to have one? Really?

5.Ice Hockey. I wonder what's the difference between this game and wrestling. I still can't find an answer to this.

6.Rugby. At least this one doesn't have the name “football” in it. Yet, men break the bones of each other to get this oval thing. A group wrestling... this is what it is.

7.Bowling. No! Seriously?! You want me to comment on that? Where here is a suggestion... turn off your pc NOW and have a nap... ah yes and cut off coffee!

8.Golf. A ball chasing a hole... why not a hole chasing a ball? All this wide land for putting a ball into a hall? C'mon... farmers need that, don't they?!

9.Cars racing. Beside the word “racing,” I don't know what relation does “sport” has to this. An engine running in a lane with other engines or maybe some people riding tires like circus clowns trying to reach the end line?! Sorry, just can't help it. I really can't understand what is “sport” about it!

10.Baseball. We don't have this game around this place but seems I understand the rules. Spit all the time and that's it!

Well... those are enough aren't they? Hope I didn't get mad about it but, bear me, I've been pressed for 29 centu.. I means years of my life. I had to let it out somehow!
Take me as a blabbering child. That way is much better!
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