Based on true life but set into character form, was experimenting other avenues.
|Have you ever been afraid of the dark and everything in it? Your hearts pounding so fast it feels like it could jump out of your chest, so you place your hands over your chest just in case, even though you know in reality it want, but the reactions there and know matter how paralized you feel nothing will stop it from happening.
It's not the nicest feeling for anyone to have in life, "fear that is" but once it grabs hold of you and you find yourself unable to shake it off...one can only assume some other force is inflicting that fear upon you.. Could be from a recent experience, or a past one, even both "if you have lived a life like Zoe has had to live" waking up day after day with that fear, it only becomes a torture life full of misery without love or dreams..
If only she could understand why it has to be there or why the ones that placed it there "would help her heal her pain". It;s a life she cannot seem to grasp no matter how hard she try's, has given her a darkness that never seems to fade. Constantly being told all her growing up years that she would never amount to anything, or if she did not comply with their every will, there would be some other ramification she would have to endure.
A life of no recognition, support or love from the ones she loves is hard on a woman that so desperately wants to feel more than the fear she has been. Her beginnings in life were some what hampered, due to others feeling she was at their disposal, and her stepfather was no exception. In fact it was he, who stared her life of no normality or safety, only gave her fear of never being wanted or loved.
His extracurricular ways, at the tender age of 12, has only made Zoe's heart to start reaching boiling point, which anyone that wants to enter her life now will more than not be able to. It's the darkness of evil and the constant smell of fear of not trusting anyone anymore, which keeps her in a world she is only trying to make safe now for herself and children, she wants no one else to come alone and destroy.
After so many failed begingings, Zoe has finely made a vow to herself, that it is time to stop allowing others to continually drown her in her own fear and start fighting for what is right. So she can get some sense of meaning back into her life before she fall victim to another cruel and evil emotion, "Suicide".
Hard to explain what it feels like when you get to a point of wanting to end your life, a pain that is so unbearable it hits your stomic and heart at the same time. Knowbody is unscathed from its clutches, if they feel that all is lost to nothing more than plain old ignorance, as Zoe has felt.