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by chip
Rated: 13+ · Script/Play · Gay/Lesbian · #1573264
A gay frustrated, by his man loosing his alamony tries for revenge.
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 The Unhappy Gay Soul  (13+)
A gay frustrated, by his man loosing his alamony tries for revenge.
#1573264 by chip

Unhappy Gay Soul

By chip

The play begins with the audience viewing a darkened stage; the lights fade in on Lieutenant Vibes, who has his own private investigation business, but because he is a retired policeman, contracts out some work to the city.

There is a desk and a chair down stage right, but the remainder of the set stays in darkness while the first scene goes on in Vibes’ office. The remainder of the set is a street with a functional door and a window as part of a house.

Vibes is playing a computer game when a young woman in her mid twenties enters.

Woman: Pardon me, sir, are you Detective Vibes?

Vibes: [Stops playing the game.] That’s what everyone calls me, but some call me a bastard. May I be of some assistance?

Woman: I need help from a private detective; the police are doing all they can, but a private detective may be the person that may help the most.

Vibes: Good that’s what I am here for, to be of help. It’s the police that call me a bastard, but even they call on me for help. What do you want me to do?

Woman: I want my daughter back.

Vibes: Where is she?

Woman: I want you to find out that answer yourself.

Vibes: All right are you willing to spend $1,500 to open your case and get me going?

Woman: Fifteen hundred dollars? OK, but for that amount, when this is all over, you send me prospective clients. [The woman writes a check.] Here and take some of my business cards to give out.

Vibes: Lady, do you have any clues?

Woman: The post office box number where I had been sending the alimony.

Vibes: Good, write it here on one of your cards; that’s what I’m going to use ‘em for, note taking on your case.

Woman: Detective, I am a divorced computer consultant, who has been shafted by the court into paying my, not gay, husband $500 per month alimony. I paid for a year, now, but stopped last month. I believe it is Rogers’s lover boy, Jason, who took Nancy, my daughter.

Vibes: How did the court rule regarding your child?

Woman: I won total custody; Roger may not see her

Vibes: You sent your alimony checks to the post office box number your husband, Roger, gave you?

Woman: Right.

[Hands woman a form.]

Vibes: Fill this out, write the post office box number down, and telephone me at this number in three hours, if I haven’t contacted you first.

[Hands her his card]

Woman: Could you tell me why I should continue paying my ex now that he has gained tremendously high paying, work? His pay makes mine look like my girls’ weekly allowance.

Vibes: You never will pay again, if what you suspect is true. If Roger’s lover boy, Jason, has taken Nancy, the judge will, besides try the kidnapping, false arrest-extortion case, revoke the alimony court order.

Woman: Here’s the form, now what?

Vibes: [Looking over form.] Ms. Deborah Jensen, computer specialist who resides at 232 Francisco Ave., here in the City, the refuge of homosexuals.

[Vibes begins to put on his coat, when Deborah’s cellular phone rings.]

[Voice heard by audience] Resume paying the alimony or you never will see Nancy again.

Vibes: [Jumps over to Deborah, on her offering the telephone to him.] Who is it?

Deborah: It’s Jason; he wants the checks to resume, if I want to see Nancy again.

Vibes: Tell him you will bring him the money now. Where can you meet him?

Deborah: [Over phone.] Where are you? I’ll bring the money; you give Nancy back.

Voice: Send it to the post office box, and continue doing so, or else.

Vibes: [Takes the telephone into his hand.] Hello, this is Nancy’s Grandpa. We want her back (crying as an overly distraught grandpa would). We want her back now. How may we have her back, now?

Voice: Deborah had better get the check in the U.S. Mail; if not, you will be hearing from me again.
[The voice hangs up the phone; a click is heard.]

Vibes: [Writing down the number that is on Deborah’s cellular. He dials the number.] [In an Italian
accent.] Hello? This a Antonio’s Pizza, did you just call? We no have a diet coke; you like diet Pepsi?

[Different Voice over the telephone-an African male one.] I love pizza; you bringing pizza here, man? Hurry up; my clothes are nearly finished the drying cycle.

Vibes: This a coin laundry?

[Voice] Hope so, man; I put coins in the slot, and I don’t see no cherries or 7’s going around.

Vibes: Did you see anybody using this phone?

Voice: Heh, heh, if you want to deliver a pizza here, you are out of luck. The guy and the little girl left. Heh, heh, heh. [Click, phone is hung up.]

[Vibes slams the phone down]

Vibes: Come on Deborah, go home. I may be calling you there soon.

[Vibes picks up the receiver to his phone, dials--listen, then:]

Vibes: Hey, Val! How have you been, Val? Val, I need a favor, and a missing child and I may be eternally grateful to you. I need the address of the renter of a certain Post Office Box. I have the box’s number.

Val: I need a favor from you Gene, and my loved ones and I will be eternally grateful to you, also. I need for you to forget about me giving anymore information to you or any other private investigator. Sgt. Finke has sternly warned me that if he ever finds out that I gave any of the citizens’ data to anyone, I will be homeless within a year.

Vibes: Look, I have a fifty-dollar bill with your name on it, Val.

Val: Give it to Sgt. Finke.

Vibes: The law doesn’t mind me knowing any of our citizen’s business, if I use it to solve crimes. Finke is not concerned about the citizens’ business, what Finke wants is to put me out of business. Val, Finke can’t put you out on the streets, but if this little girl who I am trying to find is hurt because you wouldn’t help her, man your conscience won’t let you sleep for a decade. Now, the box number is 3840, S.F., CA-tell me where the renter lives.

[Val has hung up, as a dial tone is heard] [Vibes tries to call Val again, but Val doesn’t answer.]

[Vibes looks in his telephone directory and finds another number to call for help-he calls the number]

Vibes: Hello Morrie, Vibes. How are you doing?

Morrie: Fine, Gene, you?

Vibes: I need a favor. I have been given the chore of finding a missing girl, and I want to learn the address of a local post office box renter; this would be a big help to me.

Morrie: Absolutely no way, Jose. If the rest of the board of supervisors would learn what I did, forget about not having a prayer, I wouldn’t even have a name. By, by Vibes.

[Morrie hangs up-Vibes tries another number]

Vibes: Hello, Jeanie, how’s the baby? Oh, I’m glad she got over it. No one needs a cold. Jeanie, is Willie there?

Willie: Hello detective, what makes a good guy like you contact a computer criminal like me?

Vibes: I need to catch a kidnapper, and you are the only man on earth who I can trust to help me. You need to hack into the San Francisco Post Office Box renters’ lists and find out who is renting box number 3840. I need the name and address ASAP.

Willie: Who was kidnapped?

Vibes: A little six-year-old girl who’s daddy turned out to be a gay. I think his lover boy has taken, the girl, Nancy.

Willie: What’s it worth to you?

Vibes: I’ll give you half of my earnings.

Willie: Half of your earnings, no way, man. This hack job is on me, detective. This hack job is on me. I wouldn’t take a dime for helping in this one. You wait by your telephone; I’ll call you in ten minutes. What is your number?

Vibes: 358-3623.

[Willie hangs up.] [Short time interval] [Vibes cleans his desk awaiting Willie’s call.]

Vibes: [Hearing his telephone ring picks up the receiver.] Hello.

Willie: Jason Blankman, at 831 Jordan Street; that’s just off California Street, detective.

Vibes: Jason Blankman at 831 Jordan. Good; I’m going there now.

[Lights fade out on office and up on street.]

[Vibes is sitting in his car across from the house with a functioning door within a flat.]

Vibes: [Over cellular.] Deborah? Good, this is Lt. Vibes. I contacted a friend in the Post Office. The holder of the box where you send the checks gave 831 Jordan as his address. I’ve been staked out here for about an hour and a half. I’m in my customized Lamborghini across the street from the place. Come over here, now. The cross street is California. You know what a customized Lamborghini looks like, don’t you? OK. Well, it looks just like an old green 89 Chevy, four door sedan.

[Enter a man, Jason, and a little girl, Nancy, who is resisting and putting up a fuss. They enter up stage left and walk to center stage left where they enter the door to the house.]

Girl crying: “I want my mommy, I want my mommy.

Vibes: [Into his small tape recorder.] At: 1210 completed interview with client. At: 1320 gained
knowledge of address of suspect. At: 1410 began steaking out the address of 831 Jordan. At: 1530 contacted
Deborah requesting her assistance and asked her to 1012 my Rolls Royce. At: 1533 observed a man and a girl enter 831 Jordan the girl was crying, “I want my Mommy, I want my Mommy.” Current time is 1545. [Puts tape recorder away.]

[Vibes begins his observing again. [To show passage of time 40 minutes,] lights progressively fade (ever so slowly) down slightly.]

Enter Deborah: [Deborah gets into Vibes’ car and joins the quiet.]

Vibes: I saw a man and a small girl who was crying, “I want my Mommy, I want my Mommy” enter the house forty minutes ago.

[Deborah, on hearing the news, tries to jump out of Vibes Chevy only to be stopped by Vibes.]

Vibes: Woman do you want to get Nancy hurt? Listen to me Ms. Jensen! Did you and Nancy ever play any outdoor games as hide and seek, skate board games, race games or other ones?

Deborah: You listen, Vibes, I want my daughter. [She pauses] There is a race called, “Win the Cheese.”
Nancy plays the game with her friends, while I am the delegated referee and prize giver. I give the cheese to the winner; actually it’s not cheese, but a blue ribbon.

Vibes: Deborah, you open your window, and I’ll open mine. We will yell out, as kids playing, “Win the Cheese, Win the Cheese.” Then we’ll duck down and peep over at the house. All right?

Deborah: All right.

[Both, Vibes and Deborah] Win the Cheese, Win the Cheese. [They both duck down.]

[Nancy appears at the window, and soon disappears.]

[Deborah begins to yell out, Nan… Vibes puts his hand over her mouth.]

Vibes: Woman, you will get us killed. I haven’t a warrant to enter that residence, if you run in you will endanger Nancy, and the suspect will disappear. The end result will be ten times worse than now.

Deborah: What next?

Vibes: We know Nancy, currently, has access to that window. Give me your scarf. [Deborah takes off her small, blue scarf, and hands it over. Vibes folds it into a semblance of a ribbon.]

Vibes: Now, mother, take this ribbon, walk over there by that hedge and yell, “Win the Cheese, Win the Cheese.” If and when Nancy looks out again, you wave that ribbon especially vigorously.

Deborah: All right. [Deborah sprints to stage right center-across from the window; she waves the ribbon. She yells:] Win the Cheese, Win the Cheese while waving the blue ribbon like a scarf.

[Nancy appears at the window, and on seeing her mother, turns and runs {happens off stage} down toward the front door.]

[Nancy appears at the door and is seen running across the street to her mom, saying, “Mommy, Mommy.”]

[Deborah swishes her daughter up and into Vibes’ old Chevy. Vibes drives off saying over his radio]

Vibes: Dispatch? Detective Vibes…right, send back ups...address: 831 Jordan quickly. Send more than two officers.

[Vibes now off stage with passengers.]

[Stage empty.]

Voice [off stage, Jason’s voice] Nancy, Nancy where are you, Deere, my little Deere? She’s gone!

Enter: [Two officers (in uniform) they bang on the door.] A shot is heard, Jason is seen firing from the window.]

1st Officer: I’m hit. I’m hit.

2nd Officer: [Over radio] Dispatch, this is Unit 16, “Officer down, Unit 18 is down.” Shooter fired on us from window at 831 Jordan. Send back ups. {2nd officer drags 1st officer out of sight of the line of fire}]

Enter Vibes: [Goes over to officers. Officer 1 is writhing in pain.]

1st Officer: The shot came from the window. [He points.]

Vibes: Heaven help Jason. [Vibes dashes into the house.] [Bang, bang, bang three shots are fired.]

Voice of Jason with an unmistakably gay tone: ‘Damn you, cops. You stupid cops.” [Body [Jason’ dummy] falls out of the window.]

[Vibes emerges, unharmed, from the door.]

[Enter policeman and technicians]

[Policemen carry wounded officer off stage.]

Vibes [To technicians carrying out dummy as he follows them off stage:] The unhappy gay won the cheese.

Word Ct.: 2,310

© Copyright 2009 chip (chipkath at Writing.Com). All rights reserved.
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Printed from https://www.Writing.Com/view/1573264