by Joshua Rawls
Poem for Paper Doll Gang, and my dad.
I told my father I loved him today.
He knows that I do.
Still, I say it.
I know he loves me too.
But sometimes I wonder.
Is he really aware?
I am so much like him.
It's not at all fair.
He is afraid, I think.
That I made his mistakes.
Thats not true
For me, his heart aches.
He and I share many regrets.
neither of us are what we wanted to be.
And that's what he sees
Sometimes, when he looks at me.
How can I explain to him?
Not a subject that's easy to discuss.
We're men after all.
Mushy stuff isn't worth the fuss.
Guys don't talk about feeling.
Firm handshakes, embellished stories, jokes.
We rely on that unwritten code.
That's what's proper for two blokes.
So how do I tell him he is wrong?
My mistakes were my own to make.
He taught me well.
The blame is not his to take.
I owe all that I know of being a man to him.
I'm proud to go through life this way.
But how could I ever tell him?
Maybe I just did. Happy Father's Day.