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Rated: 13+ · Editorial · Death · #1584461
A tough subject.
Not long ago, a car was found submerged in a canal...submerged in a very strange way. Investigators couldn't understand how the car got there, because there was no reasonable way it could have been driven through the barricades, and into the water.
There was strong suspicion a crime had been perpetrated.
They were right.

Inside the car were three young women...teenagers, along with a fourth, older woman.
The three young women were sisters. The older woman was their aunt.

It came to light that the four of them had been murdered. The media referred to it as an - honor killing.
Honor?
I can't imagine anything more dishonorable.
Three sisters drowned in a canal, like kittens in a mill pond.

While listening to the media knocking this one around, I was struck by the delicacy of treatment, a willingness to consider the cultural modifiers of such activity. It occurred to me that they were being more tolerant than they would be toward smoking with kids in the car (a pretty despicable behavior.)

This made me angry.
There is a reason I find the term "honor killing" a tough nut to swallow. I don't accept whatever the "honor" is that justified the killing.

Now, I can't speak as a female or as a feminist - but to refer to this behavior as simply violence against women - swallows it up inside the giant cauldron of social misbehavior perpetrated in our society for quite some time.
We don't conduct Salem witch trials anymore. That's a good thing. We've moved on down the road quite some distance, and still have a long way to go. I'm still confident that we're on the right track, and we'll get there some day.

A man's honor is a very strange thing. What I want to know is just why it's so damned fragile. I like to think that in my little corner of the planet a lot of men, with the help of a lot of women, have been toughening up the old honor muscles....applying the steroids as it were....with reasonable results. Lots of room for improvement, but at least we're on the right track.

So what kind of "honor" requires a man to kill his daughters? I just don't get it.
Were they killed for rebelling? Insubordination? Disobedience?

Hell. I think they were killed just for being girls. Girls who grew up in a strange land and adopted it as their own (as children will).
And because they were girls, they wanted to act like girls. No doubt, they wanted to wear makeup. Dress up in miniskirts. Talk to boys. Do all the things that girls do in our society. I'm sure the parents were strict.
(My parents were strict - with my older sisters, when I was growing up. My sisters are all quite alive today.)

Why are no boys ever "honor" killed?
Short answer. They're not girls.
Consequently, they can suck up all the socially and culturally inappropriate conditionings they want, and more power to them.

On this issue, I spend half my time trying to calm myself down, and remember to respect cultural differences.
I spend the other half of my time in a slow burn.
A crime is somehow "softened" because it's cultural? I'm not supposed to understand the wherefor and the why?
I'm held outside, as a culturally myopic "other?"

Well.
How many fathers out there, of daughters......fathers who have felt a lot of grief, pain, sorrow, and just no end of hell, over what they've gone through raising daughters......who have walked a long, hard road, and climbed an awful tall ladder toward understanding and acceptance -

....but whatever and wherever their sense of honor lived inside them, it didn't ever threaten to take a life.
That's the difference, to me.

There is no honor in an honor killing. At least truth could be served, if nothing else.
Free will means many things. It can mean that the one you have placed so much emotional investment in - is free to break your heart.
A fool will try to exercise control - to prevent this from happening. Winning up front - losing in the end.
Losing. Always.

I'm supposed to feel scared to death of being accused of appearing "superior" on this issue.
Nuts to that.
I'm not superior, inferior, politically or morally or culturally or ethically anything.
I'm just mad,
I can't imagine what kids DO deserve to be killed for......
It doesn't register in my brain.

Men are "honor" killed on a battlefield. Wearing full military regalia. Carrying weapons of aggression and self-defence.
It is still a fixed game.






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