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this is my first peom, comment and criticize heavily

Trapped in thoughts of foolish gain,
I looked outside my window pane
The sky was red, the wind blew dry
No sun to shine, no cloud to rain
Singing birds, Marching ants
Cries for help, efforts of pain
Animals go to their cozy caves,
To sleep at night, to hide their shame
Loud voices , they tell their story
The beatings of a wooden cane
Some are sad, some even happy
An awkward mix, the world insane
I slip right back from where I came,
My foolish thought, my foolish gain