Happy Ending

I wrote this poem a few years after my husband died

She stands at his grave
It's raining and it has gotten dark
But she doesn't really care
As always she wonders why she isn't buried beside him
It makes her angry that he is someplace better
Yet she lives on in this world
Miserable without him
She has tried to find love again
But no one loves her like he did
He could see right into her soul
Sometimes she thinks God hates her
For making her suffer so
Is being happy too much to ask for?
She doesn't understand the point of living
When her heart is gone
There should be an end to this heartache
But she can't seem to find it
And, frankly, she's damn sick of trying
She knows he wouldn't want her this sad
But she doesn't think anyone will ever see
Straight into her soul ever again
She will never understand why it had to be this way
A part of her wants so badly to beleive
There is a reason for everything
But to her the future is bleak
Sometimes there is no such thing
As a happy ending