Why? (Product of Shame)

I wrote this after the breakup with my first and longest boyfriend..

paper hearts cut in half
who said you would have the last laugh?
I love you, was it a mistake?
The three words caused the "break"
So now I am sitting here
screaming out loud
while you are probably asleep
not another sound
So tell me why?
do I cross you?
do i unwind you?
make you cry, maybe die
I am standing on edge.
why?
Do I cry for you?
why?
would I die for you?
you made me feel alive.
Uncertainty, its all I see
you and me, are we meant to be?
above all reason
I would never leave him
even with a knife to my throat
It would all be the same.
Now I am over it
Soundless misery
You broke my heart
now we are done with the part
broken sanity
a drugged up worthless plea
our love was a lie
whats worth the try?
am I the one to blame?
a product of shame.