Saturday Night

A brief description of an experience of losing self control.

I can't come down
this feeling won't stop.
I'm yearning for the moment
when my mind will finally drop.
I'm thinking of three things
and looking at another.
Tears are spilling down my cheeks,
silently crying for my mother.
I'm ashamed of what I've let myself become.
A stranger to myself, I feel so dumb.
Only my love can calm me down
stop the shaking and the twitching.
My face is blank but my mind is running
my true self, he's missing.
"Please make it stop, I won't do it again, I promise,"
I say laying on him, finally calming but sobbing.
Whisper sweet sayings, say how much you care.
It's only 'till morning when you'll finally be there.
Sit still, don't speak, focus on one thing
you don't need to get up or paranoia it will bring.
Relaxing is the key, in a couple hours it will have finished
I close my eyes and take breaths, it's finally ended.