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Rated: E · Monologue · Contest Entry · #1621314
A boy believes that Santa is going to be his new daddy.
A little boy walks up and tugs on Santa’s coat hem. He clears his throat and begins to speak in a small, unsure voice. “Um… mister Santa sir? Are you here to be my new daddy? Did you scare my old daddy away? Cause he wasn’t in his room. I guess I don’t mind you being my new daddy. Then I’d get more presents… right? Ooh how about elves? Would the elves move in with us, or would I have to go visit them? Do we have to move to the North Pole? I don’t know if I’m ready for that. I mean yeah it would be cool to live by the toy building shop and play in the snow all the time but what about my friends? Could Billy and Brad come visit sometimes? Can I have slumber parties? My dad doesn’t let me have slumber parties. Ooh, do I get to have cookies before bed? You can definitely be my daddy if I can have cookies before bed, ‘cause my daddy doesn’t let me have cookies before bed. He says my teeth will rot out in my sleep and then I won’t have anything left for the tooth fairy… Does the tooth fairy visit the North Pole? It seems like it would be a long trip for her wings. What about the Easter Bunny? I think that would be dangerous. He might get mistaken for a penguin and get eated by a walrus. I learned that on Discovery; that walrus’ eat penguins. Yeah, I think I would have to pass on Easter if I moved to the North Pole. I don’t want to accidentally get the Easter Bunny eated; Billy and Brad would never forgive me… Huh? If I don’t hurry and go back to bed you won’t be able to finish giving presents to the other kids? You haven’t gone to Billy or Brad’s house yet? Oh, they would be mad if they didn’t get presents because of me. Okay, I’ll go to bed, good luck delivering toys. I’ll see you tomorrow and we can talk about how it will be like with you as my new daddy. Good night dad, and don’t forget to tell all the reindeer good night for me too.” The boy heads upstairs to bed and thinks to himself, ‘Man, Santa is going to be my new daddy. I can’t wait to tell Billy and Brad they’ll be so jealous.”
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