by Robert Jakob
First chapter for Of Requiemk
Ellen has had trouble sleeping lately. Often she finds herself jolting awake suddenly from a dream that she can never remember, leaving her with an unknown emotion. Yet it’s never long before she finds herself dozing again, forgetting the reason she awoke in the first place.
Tonight however, was different. The feeling of the dream had left but in its place a sickness deep within her stomach. Her mind was still tired, her body was still tired, and yet sleep was nowhere near. She just laid there. Uncontrollably aware of the heat coming from the man next to her and of the sun slowly rising through the window, adding light to a room that she has no desire to see so early. Rolling over, Ellen wrapped her arm around Cadem. She eased her body into his broad naked back, her face lightly touching his short brown hair. His scent reminding her of everything good and everything she loved. But not even this could keep her stomach at bay.
Ellen could feel the bile moving up through her body, the heat of her stomach acid teasing her throat. Abruptly she rolled away from Cadem, and as gently as possible climbing out of his bed, planting one foot, then two, on top of the cold hard wood floor. Slight moans were all that escaped her mouth as she moved through the bedroom door. Pausing, her eyes grew into massive round orbs as her stomach lurched and then a gag escaped her mouth. Wrapping her arms around her stomach and looking up at the hallway, she sprinted to the back door, passing by the kitchen and the living room. Why is this hallway so damn long? Finally, reaching the back door she flung it open to the outside. Taking only a few steps she began letting vomit take control of her entire body, convulsion after convulsion, until the dry heaves replaced the burning liquid. Once they ended, Ellen couldn't help but feel relieved. Moving in a not quit sturdy way she allowed herself to collapse onto the soft wet grass just a few feet away from the newly created pile.
It was a beautiful morning. Despite the hint of vile in the air, you could smell the sweetness of the flowers of Jove. You could hear the river performing its everlasting dance and the massive applause from the wind blowing through the trees in the distance, the deep purple of Jove's sky setting the mood for the stage that which we all perform, an ambiance of bliss and nothing more. It was a morning that could hold within it the fate for all mankind.
Lost in a cloud of pure perception, Ellen sat there for several moments. Staring at things no one else could see. Her mind was in far off place where happiness dwindles solely upon a choice. To limit her time here to a particular point, on this grass, on this particular morning, would be to limit the importance of the one word that escaped her mouth in her trance. All of her mistakes, passions, and her very future were changed with one decision… The wind and the water seemed to cease all sound. The light from the sky seemed to darken. Ellen aware of herself, aware of all that is her being, let one name fall from her lips, “Abram”
The wind stayed silent, the water, still. There was nothing to dance for, nothing to applaud for. But the light, it knew. It knew it was the end of its false reign and control over the world. So it shined bright and proud. Light is arrogant.
Her eyes closed, Ellen felt a soft warmness grace her bare shoulders, the one that always comes after these moments (this being the third this week.) A smile spread across her face when the warmness developed into an embracing of two powers across her chest, erasing all traces of discomfort within her.
"Couldn't sleep sweetie?" Cadem's voice was like a low rumble in her ear.
"No." was all she could manage in response out of her comfort.
Her head tilted to the side slightly towards her vomit.
It had been the third time this week. The same routine of Ellen getting up out of bed, running towards the backdoor (she prefers the openness of the outdoors as opposed to the bathroom), and puking. Cadem couldn't help but snicker at the fact that she always forgets her cloths in these episodes. Not that it bothered him any. She was beautiful. Men could debate her body that was true. Not all men favored women with meat on their bones, but it was her eyes that could mesmerize stone. They were gentle giants in their own right. Round and as big as the moon. But they spoke to you, like a child would, telling you her biggest secret. A slight whisper, but filled with energy. Growing up she was always said to be favored by the heavens. She never had particular luck or good fortune, but, it was because her eyes, like the Jovian heavens, were purple.
The sun had risen slightly during there brief moment of solitude. Sitting with Ellen between his legs and his arms around her, Cadem could feel the dampness of the grass seeping through his pants already.
"So how is it you are always so comfortable sitting in the grass naked?” He asked while squeezing her closer to his chest. Her head jolted down towards her body. Suddenly aware of the fact of her state, she had no other choice, but to let out the most obnoxious of laughs. Her body began to shake, and more and more laughter came.
“Well you know nothing can touch my underside like nature can."
"Ha! We'll see." He then lifted her up, falling back with her in his arms, his head hitting the ground, and letting his hand snake under, down her back, then below her waist to grab a hand full of his favorite flesh and caressed it like only a lover knew how.
"No, I want the grass! It's what I crave!" Ellen screamed playfully trying to escape his fondling.
"You're a woman; you don’t know what you want!" And as a punctuation mark to his accusation, he flung her onto her stomach and let himself fall next to her. Laughter and panting became the sound track to their lives for several minutes.
Then, it was silent. Cadem's eyes were closed as he lay on his back, hands behind his head. Every breath he took was deep. Ellen lay on her side facing Cadem. Her body was relaxed, but her eyes revealed the truth. She was afraid. Afraid of what had to be said. But knowing this, she clung on to the peace that was now, the silence that she loved and the carefree man that lay next to her, she clung to it with all of her will.
Sensing something, Cadem opened his eyes and turned to the naked girl and simply said, "Hm?" She moved closer to him, allowing her left arm to fall across his chest and her leg around his. Their eyes locked, Cadem’s slight smile contradicting the defeated look on Ellen's face. Just a little longer She thought. I don’t want what is coming. I didn't ask for this. She let out a sigh in submission to destiny. "Cadem", she said, "I love you with all that I am."
“And I love you" He responded. Another pause, but Ellen had already accepted her fate.
"Cadem, I'm pregnant."
Time fell away from the couple. The sun shone bright from the sky.
Cadem left that day. Ellen was alone in his home for the first time. She didn't realize how small it was until today. Too small for a pregnant women she decided and ended up outside again. Just her and the openness of the countryside. Somehow, the land that she has come to love, the land being destroyed by modernization, a dying beauty was more real to her today than ever before. It was the reflection of her dying.
Cadem returned that night to find Ellen asleep on his couch. She was curled up in a ball with no blanket with only her summers dress draped over her body. He let his hand grace her bare legs to feel her cold skin on his finger tips. Ellen had fallen asleep to escape her inner turmoil and he had left to decide his own fate. Everyman has a choice.
He kissed her lips to awaken her. Of course it worked, it always did. Her eyes met his, speaking unspeakable words to his mind. But as if to shush her he kissed her again then hugged her. And within his warmth he whispered in her ear, "Will you marry me?” Tears flowed from her eyes, and somewhere in between her sobs she uttered, "Yes."