A short, comedic, play about two people who are different and trapped in an elevator.
|Trapped by Meredith Phipps
Mark walks to the elevator and pushes the button.
Mark:(to friends) Hey, I’ll catch up with you guys later. I have to finish a paper for my psychology class.
Elevator opens, Mark steps in and pushes button. Elevator goes down, stops on another floor, opens, and Lizzy walks in. Lizzy’s bubbly personality is radiating from her.
Lizzy: Hi, I’m Lizzy. Who are you? (pause) I’m new to this building; how long have you lived here? (Long pause) I can see someone here is a Mr. Happy Downer. Does someone need a little sunshine pick me up? (grins really big, pushes smile up with fingers)
Mark: No, I don’t. Would you leave me alone?
Elevator starts to rumble and shake.
Lizzy: What is that?
Both fall to ground, Lizzy shrieks.
Lizzy: What was that? Oh my G.
Mark: I don’t know. (pushes buttons calmly) The buttons aren’t working anymore.
Lizzy: We aren’t moving anymore.
Mark: Thank you Captain Obvious.
Lizzy: Get me out of here. I’m scared!
Mark: I’m trying, I’m trying. (pushes buttons again) Well, we’re stuck.
Lizzy: Are you serious?
Mark: The buttons aren’t lighting up and we aren’t moving so umm, yeah, duh.
Lizzy: But... But... (wails) ...NOOO!!! (starts pounding on buttons, ends up flinging self against the wall) We’re going to die!
Mark: Aw, does someone need a little sunshine pick me up?
Lizzy: Shut up. (takes a minute to calm self) Okay, I’m sorry. I just had a little moment there. (sniffles) When I was six years old I had this dream...
Mark: You’ve got to be kidding me.
Lizzy: ...where I was trapped in an elevator with my poodle, Mimi. I kept yelling for someone to help us but by the time we were saved, (sniffles) my.... my...
Mark: My what?
Lizzy: (wails) ...my family had replaced me with Susie Jennifers from the next apartment over.
Mark: Oh brother.
Lizzy: Hey, it was traumatic. She moved into my room and all of my posters were taken down from the walls. Even the Belle poster from Beauty and the Beast. And worst of all, my mother was brushing her hair She used to brush… my brush… my hair!
Mark: What did you say your name was again?
Lizzy: (sniffles, wipes nose) Lizzy.
Mark: Okay, Lizzy, how old are you?
Lizzy: Nineteen. Why?
Mark: Okay, Lizzy, that dream of yours was thirteen years ago. You’re fine. We’ll get out soon enough. There’s no dog here. No Susie Whatshername. No brushing of the hair. Snap out of it woman!
Mark: I know, I know. My therapist use to tell me the same thing before he ran out screaming during our session. His receptionist said he ran away to the Netherlands and that one of his patients was so crazy, he had to quit for his own sanity. He even had to run out on them. (pause) Wait a minute.
Mark: Something’s got to give. (starts trying buttons again, yells up) Hello?! Is anyone there? We’re stuck in here! Help us!
Lizzy: I know what will help me. (pulls book out of messenger bag) A little twi love.
Mark: A.... what?
Lizzy: Twlight, you know? It’s only the best book in the entire world. It’s so cute how Bella loves Edward.
Lizzy: I know. It’s so cool. I’m guessing you like it too?
Mark: Um, no, quite the contrary. How can you read it?
Lizzy: (gasps) How dare you say that? It’s the most beautiful piece of artwork every created.
Mark: Where do you come up with this stuff? Preteen Weekly?
Lizzy: Very funny. I actually enjoy the saga and find that it has a complicated and complex plot and story line.
Mark: Oh yes, the magic of two idiots fighting over one girl. One guy wants her because she’s the only new chick in town while the other dude wants her for lunch.
Lizzy: That’s not true! Edward loves her. He has to fight his urge in order to form a beautiful relationship with her.
Mark: You know, I’ve heard of some killers being nice to their prey before striking but I’ve never quite heard of it going that far.
Lizzy: You’re such a hater.
Lizzy: So? Is that all you can say? So? Have you even read the books?
Mark: No, nor do I intend to.
Lizzy: (offers book) Please, for me?
Mark: It would go against everything I stand for. Why would I waste my time and give up my soul for some chick I met in a broken elevator?
Lizzy: Well, it isn’t like you have anything else to do.
Mark: Stare at the walls.
Lizzy: Don’t be silly. Open your mind up. (alluring) It would be your new favorite book.
Mark: No, no, NO! Anyone who reads it has the maturity of a ten year old and is just plain stupid.
Lizzy: I am not stupid! I appreciate beautiful artwork.
Mark: I refuse to read that garbage.
Lizzy: Take it back.
Lizzy: The garbage part. (sniffles)
Mark: No. It’s how I feel.
Lizzy: Take it back! It isn’t true. (starts to cry)
Mark: You’re really crying over me insulting a book?
Lizzy: Take it back. It doesn’t deserve your ridicule. It didn’t do anything to you except want to be loved and read. (wails, grabs Mark’s collar) Take it back, now, right now!
Mark: Okay, okay. I’m sorry.
Lizzy: Say it to the book.
Lizzy: Apologize to Twilight.
Mark: (sighs) I’m sorry Twilight. Can you forgive me?
Lizzy: (claps hands and hugs Mark) Yay! We can all be friends now. (goes back to reading book for a minute) You never did tell me your name?
Lizzy: You never told me what your name is.
Mark: Oh it’s...
Lizzy: Wait, wait, hold on. Lemme guess. (looks at Mark up and down) Is it... Gavin? No it couldn’t be, the hair is too frizzy. Hmm.... is it Landon?
Lizzy: Of course not. You’re too geeky. Give me one last shot. (pause) I got it! Eugene!
Mark: What? How in the world did you come up with that?
Lizzy: Well, because of your geeky and have really dull, frizzy, hair. You know, you should really use some gel or hair product.
Mark: I don’t look geeky! In fact, I can be quite studly sometimes, thank you very much. And I hate hair products. Gel makes my hair all sticky.
Lizzy: Okay, sorry, sorry. So what is your name?
Mark: It’s Mark. And not because of my hair of how I look, or whatever. It’s Mark just because.
Lizzy: Okay, okay. Jeesh, someone has some anger problems. (pause while she reads books) Hey, since we’re going to be in here for a while, let’s be friends. We can talk about friends and movies and.... and... guys.
Mark: Um, no thank you. I’m okay being alone and isolating myself.
Lizzy: Come on! You’ll love it. We can be elevator buddies (pause) Elevator buddies... (pause) Like Ella buddies. Ella ella ella, like from Rihanna’s song!
Mark: Lemme guess, you like Rihanna and the Jonas Brothers.
Lizzy: Of course not! Who do you take me for? Some amateur? I hate the Jonas Brothers. Miley Cyrus is the real deal. Not those lame brothers.
Mark: Like I thought.
Lizzy reads the book.
Mark: Why do you even like that book?
Lizzy: Because it’s a magnificent love story about forbidden love and how love can conquer all.
Mark: Including urges to want have Bella for lunch.
Lizzy: For not liking the saga, you know the characters’ names?
Mark: Sadly. It’s kind of hard not to when their names are plastered on every ten year old’s T-shirt.
Lizzy unzips her hoodie and shows Mark her shirt.
Lizzy: It isn’t restricted to just ten year olds.
Mark: Okay, ten year olds and young adults who are nuts. Who knows, maybe by the time you turn twenty-five, you’ll have upgraded to The Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants.
Lizzy: Wooohoo. I know you aren’t insulting The Sisterhood now.
Mark: My niece reads that series and she’s thirteen.
Lizzy: Well, she has better taste than you in reading materials.
Mark: I’m twenty-two. There are better books out there for me to read. Besides, I don’t have time for that trivial stuff.
Lizzy: Well, you have time now. And currently, you have zero boring books to read since you’re stuck in here. (offers book)
Mark: No. I said no a million times.
Lizzy: Well, why not? What are your reasons for being resistant?
Mark: Because I’m not into vampires falling in love with humans.
Lizzy: The most important part of the story isn’t that he’s a vampire. It’s that deep, passionate love that cannot be broken. Haven’t you ever been in love with someone to where to didn’t make any sense but the feeling was just that... amazing?
Mark: Yes. Back in sixth grade. Puppy love.
Lizzy: I remember that love. Jimmy Buckets. He was so sweet. I was 15, he was 16. He was taking me to my first high school dance. We went out his favorite ribs restaurant and my gosh, that boy could sure eat a lot. After I paid for the meal...
Mark: Wait, you paid for the meal?
Lizzy: Yeah. Why? Who else would pay for it? Hello?
Mark: Um, the guy? Hello?
Lizzy: Oh my G, no. He had me pay since he was being nice enough to take me to dance even. It was so sweet of him.
Mark: So, what happened after that?
Lizzy: We went to the dance, but one of his friends, Mercedes, kept dancing with him and I was only able to dance with him for like, 5 minutes. He apologized later and said there was some history with her. So I wasn’t too worried.
Mark: Did you ever see him again?
Lizzy: Yeah. We went on a few more dates- the little Italian restaurant downtown, the pizza place near the railroad tracks, a few more rib shakes, you know, the usual?
Mark: Why’d you stop seeing him?
Lizzy: Well, I eventually ran out of money to pay for meals and after the cash ran out, so did the food, and so did the dates.
Mark: And why did you like this guy?
Lizzy: Well, he was sweet enough to take me out on dates and he had the best smile in the entire world. Plus we had a lot of fun together. Between racks of ribs, he’d talk about his dad’s tractor truck and his friends. He sure talked about Mercedes a lot. They must have been good friends. I wonder what kind of history they had.
Mark: Even I haven’t been that dumb to date someone that would use me for meals.
Lizzy: He didn’t use me. Besides, we had a close connection.
Mark: If that connection is what you’d compare Bella and Edward’s to from Twilight, then I’m definitely not reading it.
Lizzy: Unlike Jimmy and I, Bella and Edward are able to make it forever. It’s so cute.
Mark: It isn’t my idea of a good time but whatever.
Lizzy: Oh, come on, will you please, pretty, pretty please, read it Just a few pages even?
Mark: Will it make you shut up?
Lizzy: Yes. Well, for a bit.
Mark takes the book and starts to read the first two pages. Lizzy waits in excitement. Mark closes book and gives it back.
Lizzy: So? What’d you think?
Lizzy: No! No, no, no. How can you say that? You can’t be serious. All I wanted was for you to read it and like it.
Mark: Not everybody is like you.
Lizzy: You don’t like it even in the least bit? (sniffles)
Mark: Nope. Sorry.
Lizzy: But... But... maybe you would if you read some more.
Mark: Sorry. I tried. No go.
Lizzy: But... But... (starts to cry) You didn’t even try. If you read some more, you’d like it, you really would, I promise. Oh please Mark, please, just give it a fair shot.
Mark: I did! Now back off. You’re lucky I read those two crummy pages.
Lizzy just cries.
Mark: Oh Lord, I wish I had a cell phone.
Lizzy: (sniffles) Why?
Mark: So I could call someone to get us out of here.
Lizzy: Oh, well here. (pulls a cell phone out of her pocket)
Mark: You had a cell phone this whole time?!
Lizzy: I kind of forgot about it. I just got this one and I’m not use to having a cell on me. My last one got wet.
Mark: (takes cell and starts messing with it) How’d it get wet?
Lizzy: I went swimming with it. My Daddy finally bought me this one a few months later.
Mark: (calling) Hey, someone help us. Me and this girl are stuck in an elevator.
We’ve been in here for about fifteen minutes or so.
I’m okay. I think she is as well but I don’t know if she was mentally handicap before or not.
How long? (pause) Just a few minutes? Great! Thank you.
I can’t believe you had a cell phone this whole time. Here it is, we’ve been locked in an elevator and finally you remember that little box in your pocket can make calls. (throws phone at her) Did you accidently fall on your head when you were a small child?
Mark: Nearly drowned in a pool?
Lizzy: Well there was one time when I was four that I I fell through some ice on a lake up in Minnesota. From what my Mom told me, I fell through and it took me a few minutes to find the hole and...
Mark: I rest my case.
Lizzy: You can either be mad at me or be happy that I even remembered it. If I hadn’t have, you would have been stuck in here longer.
Mark: Granted. Fine, Lizzy, thank you for finally using your brain.
Lizzy: There we go! You’re welcome. So, what are you doing after we get out?
Mark: Work on a paper for my psychology class.
Lizzy: Oh... can I help? You can experiment on me!
Mark: It’s not like that. Besides, no certified psychologist could diagnose you anyway.
Lizzy: Well, I thought it’d be worth a try. (sighs)
Mark: What are your plans?
Lizzy: Stop at the convenient store, grab a bag of cotton candy, and read my baby.
Mark: Should have figured.
Lizzy: Want to umm... join me?
Lizzy: We could, like, rent a movie and microwave some pop corn.
Mark: I’m sure you’re a great person but I don’t know you. Besides, I’m busy.
Lizzy: Oh, okay. I just thought it would be fun, you know?
Mark: It probably would be. But we aren’t friends. I don’t know you. You don’t know me. It would be... weird.
Lizzy: I get it. Sorry (sighs) It’s hard meeting people in a new city. Back home, I knew everyone. I use to have tons of friends and now.... (sighs again) I’m alone.
Mark: You’ll find friends. Give it time.
Lizzy: It’s been three months. Everyone thinks I’m a freak. (starts to cry)
The elevator starts to move.
Mark: We're moving! Lizzy, hey Lizzy, we’re moving.
The elevator door opens. Lizzy gets up and runs out. She accidentally leaves the book and cell phone. Mark grabs the book and cell phone, looks at them.
Mark: I’m sorry.
Mark walks out of elevator and exits stage. The lights go off then back on with Mark in his room. He’s reading the book, about half way through it. He grabs Lizzy’s cell and calls it.
Mark: Hey, is this Lizzy? (pause) Hi, umm, this is Mark. You left your book and cell phone in the elevator and I didn’t have a chance to give it to you...
I went through your phone and found your home number. Is that okay?
Sure, I’ll bring both up to you. What apartment are you in?
226? Okay, great. I’ll bring them up in just a minute. But hey, I just wanted to ask you, want to rent a movie and, I don’t know, order some pizza?
Lights go off.