Things I Didn't Say

A poem written for my ex, things I should have told him but didn't.

I said I didn't want you
I pushed and shoved you away
I said many words to deter you
But there were many more I didn't say

I never told you what I thought
Or how I truly felt
That simply being with you
Made my icy heart melt.

Whenever I was with you
My heat would start to soar
And when I had to leave you
It left me wanting more.

Something made me nervous
I tried to ignore it, to not feel.
I feared one day I'd wake up
To find it wasn't real.

I did all I could to stop it,
I did all I could think of.
I became to afraid to admit it
Admit that I had fallen in love.

I pushed it from my mind
And held tight to my reality
I was too afraid to fall,
What if you didn't catch me?

I said I didn't want you,
I pushed and shoved you away.
I said I didn't want you,
But that's not what I meant to say.