the meeting of aseperated child and mother
|Looking over at his mother he could see the sadness in her eyes. "Did you miss me" It was the only question he could think of. Her reply made him angry. How could he ever forgive her for what she did.
"Why, Why should I forgive you. You left me, told me not to call you. I was a child. Your left me." Derek's chest hurt so bad with the pain from a broken heart.
She said it again.
"Please forgive me." Then she started to walk away.
Thinking to herself Alice wondered what to say. She knew the pain she had caused him, going through it herself as a young child she knew exactly what he went through. It hurt her so bad. The decision she had made 15 years ago to leave him with his father. To cut all contact so that the father had no leverage over her. Alice had made her decision knowing this day would come that she would have to answer to her son and tell the truth. Knowing that made Alice stop, and she slowly turned around prepared for the worst of his ridicule, for the worst of his anger and pain, knowing she deserved it all. "Son, I..." It was so hard to spit the words out.
"I had to. Derek, I was a bad mother. Just when I started to become a good mother was a couple of years before I decided to I devorce your father. In the end when he would tell you things and then you would come argue with me about them, I said things to you that were not for you to worry about and most certainly were not your fault."
"Then why did you say them" He yelled.
"Because I had spent most of my life being a child doing all the wrong things. I had no practice at doing what was right. The first right thing I did was making it so that you were not in the middle of the arguing anymore."
"I wasn't in the middle of anything. You stole my things, kicked me out of the house and chose your boyfriend over me."Derek's voice became real low as if he was triing to calm himself down.
"yes, that was one of the many lies your father told you. There are two sides to every story. I never meant to leave you but at that time in my life given the choice of fighting for my son that didn't even want to be around me who kept threatening to break into my home, refused to eat, stayed up all night, yelled in my face,"
derek interupted with " That's not true, You were mean to me and chose his daughter over me.
aaaand became more and more violent everyday and had his first kiss to a four year old when he was ten, I chose the one that would continue the course of life. I had no job and thanks to the amount of child support your father wanted, I lost my apartment."
He cut in "So your saying you should not have had to pay child support to help him raise me... seeing as you were not there."
"I cut all contact because he was following me around threatening to have me arrested, because he backed into a car I was driving and said I was on private property when I was there to get you. I just could not take it anymore. I had to protect myself, and that meant losing you. So now I ask you please forgive me"
" I don't know how to forgive you. I just hate you so much. You weren't there for me. I really needed you. I better go" Derek turned to walk out the room. Lifting his head to look over his shoulder he said" I have your number and I'll think about what you have said. Thanks for taking the time to come here, Its more than what you did during my childhood"
She followed a couple of steps before she stopped and said. "Please do think about it, and I would also like for you to think about the fact that I almost singlehandedly raised you for the first nine and a half years of your life. I didn't want it to end like that." She paused " I always did and always will love you. I hope you believe me. I hope we can work on being friends. If not now maybe someday. Please forgive me boy."