Blue. The nostalgia i felt. The days we spent. The color of his eyes.
|I finally stopped to catch my breath. Panting, I staggered toward the bench.
It was almost seven in the morning. If I were not preparing for a cross country race, I would still be in bed, instead of compromising my sleep. Why did she put me in the cross country race? My coach’s overestimation of my ability would soon be rewarded with disappointment. I was the slowest in my team, and made only mediocre improvements.
I looked up towards the heavens, as if looking for an answer. The sky, with the coming of the sunrise, was a clear federal blue. I would never forget the sky that day. As my head declined, it was then I saw him. He came and sat next to me. What caught my attention first were his eyes. They were of striking blue, which gave him a piercing gaze.
“Hey. You’re an athlete too? I noticed you running. Here’s just a little word of advice. You have quick strides, and that’s good, and if you can lift your legs higher when you run, I’d expect you to go much faster.”
That was how I met Cal. I then realized how a compliment can chase the blues away, and how one’s life can change just by one encounter. His presence somehow lingered within me after he gave me a heart melting smile and jogged away.
The dark blue sky soon became baby-blue with the coming of sunrise. The sun rose with a glorious conflagration of orange and gold. In that moment too, a newfound passion began to burn within me. It was a warm and blissful passion, richer than the sunrise.
We soon trained together.
He spent a summer by my side. He filled my days with endless wonder. However, the blissful days never last long. He was gone when autumn came. His family moved overseas.
I will never forget the days we spent by the lake. The water was a lovely blue, and of deep clarity.
We would spend the afternoon gazing at the water under the azure sky, and swim among the rays of the sun in the lake. I would never forget how the sun shone on his skin, bluish in the water.
I would never forget how we would gaze at the sapphire evening sky together, with the hope of what tomorrow may bring to us. With him gone, his presence was replaced by tears as I looked at the blue heavens and prayed for his return. With him gone, the clear blue morning sky only made my heart ache with loss.
With him gone, my life became colorless. He left me nothing but an empty chamber within me. My life became emotionless. I had nothing to live for, nothing to fight against and no one to fight life’s challenges with. There were no longer any clear blue, piercing eyes that teased me, that cheered me up, that told me I was loved. Yet I dreamed he would come to me, and we would live the years together. However, there are dreams that cannot be, and there are storms we cannot weather.
That night, I had a dream. I was standing by the lake. The entire sky was sapphire. So was everything else. The water, the grass, my skin… After months of being a living dead, in this dream, I was not only submerged in a blue hue, but with nostalgia. It was a bittersweet sensation. I actually felt an emotion, right to the core of my heart.
Then I saw him. Running – no, coming back – to me. Again his blue eyes seemed to penetrate deep within my soul. The nostalgia was replaced by the passion I experienced so long ago on the day we met. His flash smile again touched my heart.
When I woke, it was dawn. There were tears on my cheeks. The passion remained within me, co-existing with the nostalgia. I looked out of the window up at the clear federal blue sky. Heaven had answered my prayers. Though it was one more day all on my own, with that dream, I felt as if he was back with me.
Blue. It reminded me of the nostalgia I felt. It reminded me of the days we spent. It reminded me of the ache I felt. Blue. It would be the color of the eyes I would see soon. Heaven had given me sign.
I would be waiting for him.