GRAPHIC: WELCOME TO THE FAMILY ADVOCACY GROUP
The Family Advocacy Group presents
this short informational video.
FADE TO BLACK.
INT. STAGE - DAY
SARAH and ARTHUR are standing in front of a pale blue
backdrop. They are both cheerful, bubbly, and very friendly
in a drink-the-kool-aid kind of way.
Hi! I'm Sarah.
And I'm Arthur.
If you're watching this video, it's
because you're concerned enough
about the future of America to join
the Family Advocacy Group.
Good for you! You've decided to
stop being a victim, and take back
America for our children. As you
know, gays and liberals are working
double-time to force the gay agenda
on us, God-fearing real Americans.
And that's why now, it's more
important than ever before to learn
how to fight back.
As a Family Advocate, you will be
expected to keep yourself informed.
Gays and liberals will stop at
nothing to smear the faithful.
Your only defense is to know the
And that's why we're here to tell
you the facts.
Homosexuality IS a choice. And
since gays can't have their own
children to turn gay, their only
option is to corrupt other people's
The most common way for someone to
become a gay is to be turned into
one by another gay.
Children are the most
impressionable, so they are the
biggest target. To protect your
children, teach them these facts,
and don't allow them to go around
people you think are gay.
It's important to be vigilant,
because a gay will not hesitate to
drink your child's blood!
That's how they turn people
gay...by drinking their blood.
I'm not sure that's true...
Well, I suppose technically, they
have to drink the gay's blood in
order to become gay.
Anyway, be sure to teach your
children the signs. Gays tend to be
very neat, and excellent dressers.
Also, they don't have reflections
or cast shadows.
Are...are you sure about that?
Of course! Also, they can be
identified by two small puncture
marks on their neck, where another
gay bit them.
That doesn't seem quite right...
It's a fact!
Are you sure you're not thinking of
Don't be silly, Arthur. Vampires
But gays are!
Yes...they are...anyway, be wary of
places where gays often hang out,
like dance clubs, or gyms...
Or old castles, cemeteries, and
crypts. Also, they can't go out in
the sunlight, or they'll burn up
Listen, I don't know where you got
your information, but I'm pretty
sure you're thinking of vampires.
They can also be killed by--
(cutting her off)
Whoa whoa, we do NOT advocate
It's better to pray for them, and
to cure them by introducing them to
Well obviously curing them through
prayer is better, but you might not
have time for that if you've got a
gay trying to gnaw at your neck!
So if you're in an emergency
situation, and need to protect
yourself, they can be killed by
exposing them to sunlight, like I
said, or by driving a stake through
No, you're not--
Well, I suppose that second one is
You can also keep them at bay with
crosses, holy water, or garlic.
Sarah, with all due respect, I
think maybe you're misinformed...or
maybe just confused...
Arthur, I'm not the one that's
confused...the gays are.
We should probably just end this
thing. Remember: you have nothing
to be afraid of, because you've got
God on your side. Just be vigilant,
and be sure to avoid the
propaganda. For example, don't
watch films that perpetuate the gay
agenda, like Brokeback Mountain...