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Rated: ASR · Short Story · Fantasy · #1672446
Entry for Enchanted Conversation's The Little Mermaid edition.
* This is my story for the Enchanted Conversation's latest edition based on The Little Mermaid  .  If you would like to review, and are not very familiar with the original fairytale (quite different than Disney's), you should follow the link and read that version first.  1500 is the target word count, but longer is allowed.  Submitted word count:1574

Deadline: May 15th.  Revised (again) May 12 thanks to help from emerin-liseli , Vampyr14 , LJPC - the tortoise , Raven , AliceNgoreland

Revised ending based on rewrite request - please let me know what you think.  The word count is now 1830, but by gum if she wants the change, she can pay the extra $10.

The Sea Witch's Daughter

Once upon a time, an evil witch lived in the depths of the ocean in a castle built of the spars and timbers from shipwrecks.  She had one daughter, a lovely mermaid named Tempterra.

Tempterra was lonely.  No mermen dared approach the witch's castle, and Tempterra was not allowed to attend the royal balls and merriments of the Sea King.  Her only companions were stingrays and sharks that waited upon her mother.

One day, as Tempterra floated alongside a basking shark, she spied a regal ship.  Curious, she watched it sail closer.  At the prow stood a man so handsome, he took her breath away.  Tempterra watched as he strode the decks, giving orders to the seamen in a voice that was firm but kind.

Returning to the castle, Tempterra told the witch, "Mother, I have found the man I want to marry."

"Where did you meet this merman?" asked the witch, eyes narrowing.

"He is not a merman, but a human.  I saw him on his ship," confessed Tempterra.  "I must make him mine.  Please, Mother, won't you help me?"

The witch stormed and raged, but at last relented.  "I will give you three chances to walk the land as a human.  Each time, you may rise from the sea on human legs in the morning, but you must return to the sea before sunset, unless you have married your love."

"And if I do, may I stay with him as a human?" asked Tempterra.

The witch sighed, but said, "If you marry him and spend one whole night in his bed, you will remain human forever."

"And if I do not wed the prince in three chances?"

The witch smiled.  "Then you will return, and never again venture to the surface."

Tempterra didn't hesitate.  "I will do it."

The witch frowned, but gave Tempterra three pearls of translucent beauty.  "Swallow one pearl each time you would walk the land.  However, beware.  As the sun sets, you will return to your natural state unless you have married."

Tempterra kept the three pearls in a locket around her neck.  Each day, she scanned the horizon and held the locket close.

One beautiful morning, Tempterra saw the ship again.  She followed as it sailed ashore, and saw the mysterious man on deck.  A crewman called out, "Brace yourself for landing, Prince Henrik."

A prince.  Tempterra thought her mother would be pleased with such a catch.  Then she frowned, as she realized how difficult it might be to meet the prince.  When she looked up, the ship had docked.

Tempterra swam quickly to the beach and pulled herself ashore.  Gasping on the sand, she reached into her locket, took out the first pearl, and swallowed it.  She felt a searing pain as her tail split into two legs.  As the pain subsided, she raised her head.  The prince had disembarked and was almost out of sight.

Awkward on her new legs, Tempterra could not reach the prince before he entered the palace.  The gates swung closed with Tempterra, dismayed.  She hobbled to the gate and knocked.

At first, nothing happened.  Then a window opened, too small to see through.  "Who goes there?" the guard asked.

Thinking quickly, Tempterra said, "I am a poor maiden from a faraway land.  I have an important message for His Highness Prince Henrik."

The voice growled, "His Royal Highness does not take messages from commoners," and the window slammed shut.  It would not open again, no matter how piteously Tempterra begged.

The day passed, but Tempterra could find no way into the palace.  As the sun sank, she trudged back to the beach and slipped into the waiting waves.  She had wasted one pearl.

For weeks, Tempterra watched to see the ship.  Her heart grew heavy as she imagined a lifetime beneath the waves, alone.  Then one day, Tempterra saw the ship leaving port.  Determined, she swam close to the ship, risking discovery.

The ship sailed further out, and Tempterra followed, fearful she would miss her chance to meet the Prince if the ship did not return to shore by nightfall.

As dusk approached, Tempterra's heart grew dark as well.  She thought she would never meet the prince, and might as well return to her mother.  That gave her an idea.  She raced back to the castle.

"Mother, I need a mighty storm."

The witch was surprised by this request.  She liked nothing better than stirring up a tempest, but Tempterra was not usually interested.

The witch closed her eyes and uttered dark incantations that roiled the water.  However, when she looked to see if Tempterra was pleased, her daughter was gone.

Streaking toward the ship, Tempterra planned her approach.  After the storm capsized the ship, she would find the prince and help him to shore.  In gratitude, he would be sure to marry her.

Through the crashing waves, she saw the ship in mortal peril.  She waited until the ship went down, and then swam into the wreckage.  She encountered many struggling sailors, but not the prince.

Desperately afraid that the prince had drowned, Tempterra dove again and again, but could not find him.

Filled with remorse, Tempterra realized what she must do.  She swam against the storm toward shore.  She swore that when she arrived, she would swallow another pearl and go to the King and Queen to apologize for her reckless deed.

Tempterra had no doubt of her fate after such a confession, but she saw no purpose in living without her prince. 

It was morning before she reached shore and swallowed the second pearl.  As Tempterra stood on the beach, she saw a most amazing sight.  Lying on the shore was her prince.  Tempterra stood speechless, but realized her plan might still work.  She ran to the prince and knelt beside him.  As she touched his face, the prince's eyes opened.

The prince looked up at Tempterra, and she could see the love grow in his deep blue eyes.  She caressed his cheek, and he murmured, "Thank you! Thank you for saving my life," before fainting again.

Tempterra found two men mending nets.  They hurried to the beach and lifted the prince in their arms, while Tempterra followed.  At the palace, the gates flew open when the men shouted their news. 

Tempterra tried to enter as well, but the guards prevented her.  She pleaded, saying that it was she who rescued the prince, but they would not believe her.

Desolate, Tempterra returned to the beach.  Weeping where the prince had lain, she did not wait for night, but returned to her home under the sea.  For weeks, she stayed in her room, crying and eating almost nothing.

In time, the Sea King's youngest daughter, Sirenetta, came to the witch to plead for a chance to meet the man she had helped to shore.  The witch knew he must be Prince Henrik.  She saw a chance to hurt the Sea King, while proving to Tempterra that human men are fickle and unreliable.

The witch granted Sirenetta's wish, and watched in her magic glass as the prince found the transformed maiden.  She showed Tempterra images in her glass of the prince with Sirenetta, but Tempterra turned away, sobbing, and swam from the room.
Weeks passed.  The prince attended to Sirenetta, but seemed uninterested in marrying her.  Tempterra kept to her room, crying herself to sleep.  The witch grew angry.

"Tempterra, no more of this tiresome weeping.  Use your third pearl tomorrow, or lose the chance forever!"

Tempterra was distraught.  What chance had she to win the prince's heart?  He spent his days with the lovely maiden, while Tempterra could not pass the gates.

In the morning, Tempterra swam to shore, hoping for a miracle.  As she swam, she saw a foreign ship sailing toward land.

Conceiving a plan, Tempterra slipped up to the ship and found a stray rope.  She swallowed her last pearl, climbed the rope and hid behind the large anchor.

When the foreign ladies and gentlemen disembarked, the prince was in the royal greeting party.  Tempterra's heart pounded as she slipped to the end of the procession.  Would she be caught?  How could she make the prince notice her?

But when the prince caught sight of Tempterra, his eyes lit up instantly, and he rushed to her side.  "You are the fair lady who rescued me.  I have longed for your return."  The prince asked Tempterra to marry him that very day, and she agreed.

The wedding was held that afternoon onboard the prince’s new ship. After a glorious celebration, the prince escorted Tempterra to the royal cabin.

In the middle of the night, a sound startled Tempterra awake. To her surprise, she saw the young maiden her mother had shown her, leaning over the prince as if in embrace. Before Tempterra could speak, the maiden stood, blew a kiss to the prince, and slipped out of the cabin.

Tempterra's heart broke.  Pride prevented her from demanding an explanation, but tears trickled down her cheeks as she gazed at the prince.  At last, she crept from the cabin and dove into the chilly waters.  As she grew back her tail, she vowed never to return to the surface.

Back in the castle, the sea witch watched in her magic glass and cackled with glee.  She knew she must hide the glass from Tempterra.  It was only a matter of time before the prince found a new wife, and Tempterra didn't need to see how quickly the prince forgot her.

As the sea witch swam toward the lowest reaches of the castle, she looked again at the glass and gasped.  The prince stood on the railing of the ship, staring down at the churning water.  As she watched, he dove off after Tempterra. 

The witch laughed, sure the prince would give up after a few minutes of futile searching, but he swam down with steady strokes.  Even when he must have been fighting for breath, the prince continued his relentless quest.

"Fool, what are you doing?" screeched the sea witch, but the prince swam deeper and deeper.  The sea witch watched Tempterra swim away, unaware of the struggling prince following her.  Before long, the prince slowed and stopped, unable to continue but unwilling to go back.

The sea witch stared at the drowning prince, realizing at last the depth of the love between him and Tempterra.  She knew Tempterra's transformation could no longer be undone, but thought she might save the prince if she moved quickly.  She uttered a hasty incantation, and the vision in the glass whirled with clouds.  When it cleared, the prince still floated silently, but his legs had combined to make a merman's tail.

For a moment, the sea witch thought she had waited too long, but then the prince opened his eyes.  Even with the shock of his transformation, he continued after Tempterra.  The sea witch put down the glass and swam to reunite Tempterra with her husband.
© Copyright 2010 Ben Langhinrichs (blanghinrichs at Writing.Com). All rights reserved.
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