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Lesson # 3- Writing Assignment for Oh No,,,,More Commas

When I look at Savita,(2) I am forced to conclude that gray hair is a curse, certainly, (4a) not the glorious crown as the Bible would have us believe. A sixty-five year old widow, (11)her husband passed away a couple of years ago leaving behind two grown up sons, (5) two daughters-in-law,(5)and a grandson.

Widowhood has been a painful experience for Savita. It usually is,(1) but more so for this hapless woman because it brought along in its wake loneliness and despair. Her two sons have no time for her. To be fair,(6) both of them are caught up in the grind of necessity. The elder one resides abroad, (?) where the conditions aren’t really suitable for his mother to join him. The younger son stays with her, (1) but does a job which keeps him on the road all the time.

The daughter-in-laws claim that they have the right to pursue independent lives,(11) free from any interference. They do not hold a flattering opinion about their mother-in-law,(?) whom they consider ill-tempered,(3a) bossy and meddlesome, (?) which could be partly true. They use this fact,(10a)conveniently,(10a)to liberate their conscience from guilt if any,(?) which the abject neglect of the old woman would otherwise engender in their literate minds.

Unfortunately,(10a) Savita is not a stray case. The pressures of modern living, (5)the selfish pursuit of prosperity,(5) the unreasonable definition of independence which precludes old parents from being a part of their children’s lives,(5) and the inflexible attitude of young women to accept their husband’s mothers as their own has led to a proliferation of Savita’s. In this case that I know well,(2) the woman in question is financially independent. Savita’s astute husband left behind a house and a reasonable inheritance. However,(7) most Savitas are not as fortunate and would depend on their sons for subsistence. Hard-nosed daughters-in-law make the plight of such Savita’s even more heart rending.

The younger generation has to learn to be more considerate. Their parents toiled hard for their upbringing,(5) spent heavily on their education,(5) encouraged their dreams,(5) and made them what they are today. So, (8) is it not a fair expectation that the children tend to their parents when the latter are old and infirm? If parents are occasionally cantankerous and moody,(2) is it not the children’s duty to cajole and cheer them(9) rather then make it an excuse to disown them? Children shouldn’t forget the laws of natural justice. If they bring suffering to their parents, they can expect the same treatment (9) when they grow old.

Parents do not need your wealth except the bare minimum to maintain their dignity. What they seek is your love and company. Is that too much to ask for? I would request whosoever reads this piece to think about their old parents. Sons,(5) daughters, (5)son-in-laws and daughter-in laws (5)have equal responsibility to make their parents as well as parents-in-law happy. Without their blessings and prayers,(2) neither we nor our children can achieve happiness or prosperity.

Word Count: 498

The above portion is 498 words. Below are some doubts which take this piece beyond 500 words.

1. The elder one resides abroad, (?) where the conditions aren’t really suitable for his mother to join him. ( I was tempted to aplly Rule # 9 but didn't do so as this is an adjective clause.)

2. The younger son stays with her, (1) but does a job which keeps him on the road all the time. (This sentence does not have two indeppendent clauses that will stand alone without the conjunction. However, the 'contrast' exception has been applied.)

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