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by JARuiz
Rated: 13+ · Novella · Experience · #1684994
It is a life story still currently unfinished.
Deliverance is the key to my salvation, but what exactly is deliverance? To me, in the eyes of a forsaken soul, deliverance is a life long cleansing process. The cleansing I need, however it is unattainable to me. I have managed to drag out so many flaws and built up so much guilt that I feel I will never become the man I want to be. I feel as if greatness is out of my reach, I am destined to fail, but I am a walking contradiction. I know my flaws and openly except them, however, I fight them all to the point of exhaustion. The strain and drain from fighting myself leaves me feeling lifeless as if the devil stole my soul right under my nose ripped it apart just to put it back together with unjustified alterations. It seems as if he connected himself in me, with me. Leading me on a journey that will either, make me God-like or prove I am the devils protégé.

My voyage began when I came out of my birth mothers womb. I was initiated into my “creators” lifestyle. I faced unholy punishment for sheer pleasure and faced neglect over pure laziness. These actions left me broken, beaten, and scarred. My life began to fall from under my non-existent wings, from being a creature so innocent to a now ugly, dark, terrorized, shattered soul, I was truly inducted into his unruly way of life, however I found my greatest ray of light in my shadows of darkness. The ray did not come with a flame or even a light itself, this ray came with a pair of warm and inviting faces with loving, open arms. The creator hated the feeling and face of love, he thought love was vile and horrid. He felt as if it was his mission to destroy and integrate the face of love into his undying, fearless army of darkness. This began the war, the war of good versus evil in my life. The pair of gentle loving faces came with names of Jorge and Denise Pousa and they are still in my life protecting me from the evils I face to this day but I will elaborate on their roles in my life at a later time. Still in my youth however, my angels taught me all the skills I needed to fight my evil endeavors. The darkness from within was reflected through my eyes and attempted to overthrow the light portraying me to be a master at both trades. I was a true hybrid in the body of society.
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