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by Light
Rated: E · Essay · Experience · #1689342
A little about me, and my writing
         Nothing in the environment or the state of anyone’s mind is static. All that we experience in life is temporary and always changing. To some, this will sound dreadful. Others will see it as a blessing. Time and change are one and the same. Life always gives you what you are able to handle. Thus, we grow and experience who and what we are.

         I am not a typical guy that you might meet in a supermarket, thank God. Most people who know me well would not call me “normal.” There is no such thing as normal, by the way. I am simply who I am meant to be, and I like to write.

         How would you define this word “normal?” Few people could give a quick answer to that question. After working in state hospitals for fifteen years, and studying New Age Spirituality, this is what I have come up with.

         Normal, first of all, is a judgment, which is a type of consideration; and all judgments are only an individual’s point of view. When we experience anything or anybody, we compare that experience to our past experiences. If the experience is comfortably within our tolerance to differences, another consideration, we judge the experience as normal. Therefore, there is no such thing as normal because it’s all in our minds. Now, here is a bit about how I am different.

         Many people have judged me as “odd,” or in terms more colorful, because I was born with Tourette’s Disorder. It is a movement disorder characterized by motor and vocal tics. Some cases shout short profanities. I did not develop that symptom. I also have, according to doctors, a bit of Adult ADHD (Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder) and OCD (Obsessive Compulsive Disorder). So, besides my tics, I am forgetful, have trouble with spelling and such, tend to be restless with a short attention span, tend to be a creature of habit, and think about some things too long. I did not make great grades in English, and I seem to be mildly dyslexic as well, based upon my own observations of myself. In spite of all of this, however, some years ago I heard a silent voice inside of me saying, “You are a writer!” And it did not go away.

         On the other hand, I also seem to have some gifts. I am very good with abstracts and concepts. Before I was ten, for example, I picked up a simplified Air Force preflight manual. It was about the basic workings of aircraft, and the theory of flight. I read through it and understood it. I could easily envision the principals of aerodynamics. Today, I often read scientific articles, and I have learned a lot about science. I could discuss String Theory with a physicist, and even suggest some new ideas, as long as we avoided the math. I also seem to be capable of spontaneous knowledge. When I write about a familiar subject, by the time I am finished writing, I sometimes know more about the subject than when I began, by just writing about what I know.

         In addition to learning a lot about science in general, I studied computers back in collage when PCs were only experimental. I also studied electronics in the military. And, I had clinical Psych as a part of my training in the nursing field.

         Most people would look at this mixed situation and say that even with such gifts, becoming a published author is “having your head in the clouds.” They would say it is impossible for me to write anything of any quality with my deficits. I admit that it takes me a lot more time to write a story than most writers do. Ultimately, we are all capable on anything. Now, some of my work is at least close to being publishable. Impossible is only a belief, another type of consideration. Now, I need to find time to write.

         My studies of New Age Spirituality have led me to a much larger understanding of life, and how it always works out for the best. I saw plenty of the dark side on humanity, growing up with uncontrolled Tourette’s. No one knew what it was until I was in my thirties. However, I soon found a lot of truth in the works of some authors.

         The late L. Ron Hubbard, as many know, founded the Church of Scientology. I was a member of that church for a short time in the seventies, and have since rejoined. We have both changed. I have found a lot of truth in the works of Mr. Hubbard. I feel he came very close to the ultimate truth, at least. However, I seldom take anything at face value. I study his work with a critical eye. But, I know there is much to be gained in its study.

         Briefly, Scientology aims to aid individuals, groups, and ultimately the human race, to become more able to function in life and increase one’s freedom of choice. They do this by education and a greater understanding of life and of one’s self. They do not exclude God.

         Richard Bach writes fiction with a metaphysical theme. Many people have heard of his book “Jonathan Livingston Seagull.” Some have found, “Illusions, The Adventures of a Reluctant Messiah.” Both of these books are about the road to Enlightenment. They stimulate and stretch the imagination. And, they have inspired many to seek the truth.

         Few people know who wrote “A Course in Miracles.” I have studied the work. But, most of what I learned about it was from a promoter / expert named Marianne Williamson. She has published many recorded lectures. She talks very fast. A Course in Miracles is a set of books written by a woman by way of channeling. Channeling is when someone writes or speaks for a disembodied spirit. Normally, the human is in a deep trance. And he or she does not remember writing or speaking after coming out of the trance. Many people believe she was channeling Jesus. She chose not to put her name on the work.

         Neal Donald Walsch wrote the “Conversations with God” books. He writes that God talks to everyone all throughout our lives. However, we have forgotten what to listen and look for. And, the filters of our egos block much of it out. But somehow, after he had decided to write God an angry letter one day about the whys for his dissatisfactions with his life, he couldn’t put the pen down after he finished writing. He picked his tablet back up and wrote what a silent voice in one of his ears started telling him. “Do you really want an answer to all these questions, or are you just venting?” That was the start of their conversation. He has become one my favorite New Age authors. If you have read any of his books, my inspirational stories may remind you of some of them, including parts of the last half of this essay.

         I don’t want to forget James Redfield, who wrote “The Celestine Prophecy.” It is a fictional metaphor of a man’s search for Enlightenment while being hunted by the local government and church, and his discoveries seem to occur through happenstance. However, in ultimate truth, there is no such thing as true happenstance. The book has a lot of drama and action. The book is better than the movie. He also wrote a number of books after that.

         Here is some of what I have learned from all of this. And it is simply my own point of view. I will be paraphrasing. (From Mr. Walsch) For someone with a disability, one of the greatest truths I have found is regarding the agenda of the soul. Most people have never heard that the soul has an agenda. But, the soul is immortal and calls forth almost all the events in one’s life. And, many of these events are to fulfill the soul’s agenda in this lifetime. This agenda is not a list of specific events, accomplishments, or specific things you will have. It is sort of a list of experiences in which the soul wishes to be something. In order to experience many of these things, the soul gives the EGO (a self–identity held in one’s mind), and the body, some circumstances and limitations, and sometimes the lack of some common limitations, with which help guide the EGO to these being experiences the soul wishes. It also wishes to experience being all of who and what it is and to become even more.

         From Mr. Hubbard, I will add, the soul does want a few other things. It wants others and things with which to interact with, and a balance of goals it can reach and obstructions to overcome in reaching its goals. (Comment) Disabilities are among obstructions to overcome.

         As one example of my own, say the soul needs to experience some of the most basic parts of being a human, wear its heart on its sleeve and have few complexities. This soul may be born with a body with Down’s syndrome. When that life is finished, in its next life it might be a genius and become a rocket scientist. In this case, the soul may then wish to experience being a student of the universe. Circumstances created by the soul help lead the ego to the soul’s choices of being, the soul’s agenda.

         Many people become frustrated when they choose to be something, and life seems to begin to work against them. I forget and do this too. But, there is a reason for that. And, it is a blessing in disguise. Einstein stumbled onto something much bigger than he may have known when he developed his theories of relativity.

         Mr. Walsch states, that relativity came before this, or any universe. Can you have up, without having down? Can you have hot, without having cold? Actually, you could not. Nothing can be fully experienced without comparing it to its opposite. Comparing something to a point of reference is a basic concept of relativity.

         When life gives you the opposite of what you have chosen to be, you are experiencing a reference point from which to experience being what you have chosen to be. In metaphysics, the term for that is “The Law of Opposites.” When you choose to be something, its opposite soon shows up in your experience. Expect it and bless it. These opposites are allowing you to experience what you have chosen to be, and give you the choice to commit to that choice of being, or not.

         The soul then has a game. Mr. Hubbard told us that the soul loves games and that life is lived as a game. Games are quite a subject. Mr. Hubbard basically described a game as having a reachable goal with freedoms and limitations to reaching the goal.

         (Comments loosely based upon Mr. Walsch’s work) You may be wondering about your soul’s agenda. If so, look at your history to find what kind of experiences you have had repeatedly, which have had a significant effect on your life. Also, look at the things you most enjoy doing. Then ask, what was I being when I had those experiences? And then you might look at what situations have come up frequently in your life that seemed to oppose you, becoming a problem or a barrier? What ways of being are the opposite of those situations? Find the most common ways of being in these examples, and you will have begun to find your soul’s agenda.

         We do ourselves a dis–service when we judge others and ourselves, for our differences and shortcomings, and fear others for their advantages. We are all in life together, helping each other have experiences. Everybody needs everybody else. As it has been said in “A Course in Miracles,” “There is only one person in this room.” Or, as Mr. Walsch has put it, “We are all one.” “Separation is an illusion.” We are of course, all individuals, and always will be.

         Souls never oppose each other, only our egos and some of our bodily impulses do that.
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