Lynn finally begins her new life at home with her mother and brothers.
I sat shivering in the bathroom, trying to put my pajamas on one leg at a time. In the next room I could hear a muffled conversation, but not understanding the words, sometimes hearing several voices at once. The next thing I knew, I was being led out of the house, without shoes and mother carrying a hastily packed suitcase.
The long ride in the car was curiously silent. After asking my mother why and where we were going more than once and not receiving an answer of any kind, I quit asking. What did I do now, I thought. But nothing came to mind. This family seemed to like me and nobody hit me. My eyes felt heavy with the tired dreary feeling of emotions past my understand. Lying down I held my hands up in front of my face while the streetlights passed and fell asleep.
I awoke the next morning and found myself in my mother's bedroom. Not a terribly big room it held a double bed, a vanity with mirror and a chest of drawers all heavy oak with inlaid light woods. There was just room enough to walk around the bed. There was one door at one end of the room which lead to the living room and another at the opposite end that lead to the hall and bath room. The bed was in the corner where the two wooden sash windows allowed the light, that had first been filtered through the branches and leaves of two old pear trees just outside, to stream into the room. It gave the room a look of spring no matter what season it was.
I sat up to gaze out of the windows. The gentle breeze moved the leaves in a calm dance. I noticed the sunbeams streaming through to land on the bed contained floating flecks of silver that swirled and descended in slow motion down to the channille bedspread, then disappeared. I lay back on the pillow to watch this slow microscopic storm play in front of me.
I became aware of noises from the front room and got up to investigate. I had been here many times before but only on weekends. This was my mother's house. However, waking up in her bedroom was new because my usual place to sleep was a day bed that sat in the corner of the living room. Upon opening the bedroom door I found both my brothers sitting in front of a tiny television screen watching cartoons. Suddenly I realized we were all home together and I ran and jumped right on top of them where they promptly tickled me until I cried.
“MOM!!!” I yelled.
“Be quiet Lynn. Get away or go outside but leave us alone!” growled Sean.
After being cast to the floor with an indignant thud I began to pinch Sean on his side where all his skinny ribs poked through. He began to slap at the air not watching to aim the blows so as to still watch his program and I kept pinching until finally I yelled, “Moooooooom! Sean and Tim won't leave me alone. Help!!! They hurt me!!!” Then I let out a whine that could be heard down the block.
Gale came running and without waiting to hear what the boys had to say and scolded them for beating up on their little sister and how they should be ashamed of themselves. Well, that was the way of it now it seemed. I found my place among my newly formed family, albeit an irritant to my brothers. However, I found a way in which to illicit a reaction out of my mother. I found the button that turned her “mother” instincts on. It was a good feeling. But at the time, I really did not know I was consciously pushing what we call now “buttons”. I only knew if I did this, then that happened. Most children learn this at a young age. Later I would find, in my mother's case, her “button's” changed assignments daily and in no way could I plan on getting the same reaction twice in a row. Because those “buttons” I pushed would twist and turn. I did not know it then but the thoughts, fears and desires running around in her head were slowly changing my mother and my life with her.