Protection or prison, it was built brick by brick
She leaned her head against the window watching the trees flying past in a green blur. The invisible wall was between them, but that wasn’t enough. She couldn’t get any further away, as much as she wished she could.
Silent behind her wall, she tried to figure out what she had said that sent him into a rage. What had she done that been so wrong? She was slapped down again with a string of words. She was filled with so much despair but tears no longer came. Worse than fists the words crushed her spirit. The emotional damage tore her apart.
Words had built the wall between them. Brick by brick it stood between her and the bitterness. It stood between her and the anger. The wall was built to protect her. She had to protect her heart, her soul. Behind the wall his words bounced off. She turned him off to protect herself. Behind the wall she watched the world go by, always wondering what she had done to deserve this.
The wall to protect became a wall that ensnared her. She was trapped in the cycle. His anger and outburst of rage followed by the attitude that nothing had happened continued over and over building layer upon layer of the wall. It became automatic to tune him out, to shut herself down when ever he started.
The wall that was protecting her was becoming more oppressive. It was hard living in her own jail, even if she had made it herself.
She wanted the yelling to stop. She wanted the put downs to stop. She didn’t know how to make it happen. Something had to change. Something had to change in her. She could make the difference if she had the courage to make it stop. When had she stopped believing in herself? When had she given up hope in tomorrow?
The wall had to come down. The work was up to her to do. Brick by brick, was she willing to be vulnerable to his words. Was she willing to stand up and fight back? Brick by brick, would she learn how to stop the hurt of his words? It was the wall she put up to protect her, the wall that trapped her in helplessness. Was she determined enough to tear down the wall? Was she strong enough in her own being to tear down the wall? Time and determination were on her side. What would her fate be?