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Rated: 13+ · Essay · Melodrama · #1697339
You wish for things to happen but days, weeks, or even years have passed.... still...

What do you want to be when you grow up? - I am sure we were all asked with this question sometime when we were 7 or maybe 8.
Did you say Doctor, Pilot, Lawyer, or because you just have not known yet, then you said, I just want to live in a big big house with 5 cars and big dogs!

Are you now at your 20's, 30's or maybe 40's. Did it happen? I mean the answer you gave when you were 8, Are you now the someone you said you are going to be? Are you now living in your dream house with your dogs like you wished, and lets not forget the car.
Yes - Great then!
No - Here is why...

Because you let those words remain to be just words. Because you did not plan right, or maybe you did not plan at all. Not everything can be gained by wishes, by dreaming everyday and saying SOMEDAY... You should do something, buying a house will not happen not until you get a real high paying job and on top of that - not until you learn how to save. You will never be a lawyer if you will not go back to school because you did not even finish your college.

Ok lets break it down a little more..

You earn how much every month, more than enough for you to buy a car in 2 years.. But with 6 years of work, what have you bought? Laptops, which you still have? Expensive phones, clothes, shoes... Which at some point, you will get tired of using... You go out every weekend and spend too much. Those actions did not - at any ways - get you closer to your dreams.  I know sometimes you think and tell yourself= "I will stop going out and spending too much and start saving so I can get a condominium or a house somewhere near, so I can have my escape room from all stresses and difficulties life brings." But you never made that happen, yea, you might pass for a week or two but cannot just stop and will be back after and again and again and again....

You knew you needed a higher pay at your job but your actions will never make you promoted to being where you want.
You know you are good and you think just because of that, then you will be able to reach a higher level. You are wrong. You need to be consistent, you need to work harder, you need to show them that you can be better... All these, you have yet to do. I wonder when do you plan to start and stop dreaming.

OK. This is me. All things I said are just about me. I hate it that I cannot understand why I cannot do things right even if I know them.  I will just say things but will not act on them. Will not make them happen. I know what I want and how to get them but again, I do not do anything to get them or at least to get closer to getting them.

As I write this, I am at the middle of realization as to what has happened to my life. I know there are great things, I am sure of that. But none of those I have planned. Everything happened either unexpected or accidentally. I'm not even sure if there are more times when I am happy than the times I am not.

I will say it again, I will start to save so I can buy my car and house, I will lessen my night outs every weekend until I get off from that weekly routine. I will work harder so I can get promoted.

I will stop wishing and dreaming... I will just start to live with the reality that my life needs to be worked out. And it all starts now....
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