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Rated: 13+ · Other · Emotional · #1708908
This is a short retelling of what has happened to me recently
The best way for me to start this is at the beginning, so you understand the recent events. It all began 5 years ago, at a brand new High School in our area...we were coming from opposite sides of the county, and would have never met each other if it wasn't for this school. The first time we met was in our English I class, first semester of our freshman year. She was the quiet girl who sat in the back, I was the shy boy sitting in the middle. It wasn't until second semester that I actually began to know her personally. I was walking down a hallway during lunch, when I noticed her sobbing in an alcove at the other end of the hall. The friend I was walking with noticed as well, and approached her to see what was wrong. Her boyfriend had been messing with her head, causing her to become depressed and anorexic...Over the next few weeks, my friend and I sat with her everyday, and eventually convinced her to dump her abusive boyfriend. We became close friends, and it was at this point I noticed I had started having feelings for her. The first moment I noticed was when she asked me if I wanted to date her, when she was obviously rebounding from her exboyfriend. I thought long and hard about it, but by the time I had my answer, school was over and summer had begun. And with summer, came summer camp, which meant no communication with her for the whole summer. When we returned to school in the fall, I discovered she had begun dating the other friend who had helped her, since I hadn't given her an answer, and was absent the whole summer. I decided to stay, becoming her best friend, in the hopes that my chance would come soon enough. As the year passed, she noticed my feelings, and told me everything. She told me things weren't working with the other friend, and that she would date me in a heartbeat if it wasn't for the other friend. When spring rolled around, she invited me to go with her to the Stations of the Cross with her, which I readily accepted. I went every Wednesday of Lent, but was always too scared to make my move...and so another season passed, and we were back to Summer. Another year of summer camp, another season of no contact. When we returned to school this time, I discovered she had broken up with the other friend, and had begun dating someone else entirely. She once again said it was because I wasn't there during the summer, and he was. So I began another year as her friend, always being there to comfort her. This new boyfriend lasted one semester, but I wasn't able to go to Prom with her, so she went with someone else. During the beginning of this semester, she made the promise she would date me once I got my Eagle Scout. She began dating the person she went to prom with, but broke up sometime during the summer. Now came our senior year.During that year of summer camp, I steeled my resolve. I would date her during the next school year. She stayed happily single for most of the year, knowing my intentions and how close I was to Eagle. So the day came, Feb 8th, the day I recieved my Eagle Scout. after I told her, I invited her to see Miss Saigon at our High School the next weekend. She accepted, and her parents even let me drive her, which is unheard of because how protective they are of her. I left my house and crossed the county to pick her up, we went to the play, and began driving around town looking for food afterwards. We eventually decided on Taco Bell, and we brought it back to her house. We sat in her living room, talking and eating until almost 1 AM. When I finally said I had to go, she hugged me goodbye, and we kissed. Afterwards, I talked to her, and she denied the fact we were dating, saying she saw me as a brother, and would never want to date me...after this I discovered she used me to make her parents think she was dating me, while actually having a long distance relationship with someone her parents told her to stop talking to. She even borrowed my cell phone because her parents had taken hers away to keep her from talking to him. I then ignored her for a solid month, shocked by how she had manipulated me. After a month, she contacted me, saying she knew it was wrong, and she would never use me like that again. I accepted, since it was May of our Senior year, and the alternative was lose touch with her forever. Over the summer, during summer camp, we were actually able to talk some for once. She told me of how she started talking to one of my close friends, and was starting to like him. She quickly added that it was only as a friend, and not romantically. Once I asked the friend, though, I found out she had been asking him to go for swims, just the two of them, and to go to her house to watch a movie, alone, as long as they "cuddled, maybe more." When I heard this fact, it shook everything I had thought i had known about her...I spent the night wandering around a 24 hour walmart....I then decided to cut her out of my life, which was going fine thanks to friends, until a week before her 18th Birthday. She tried calling my cell twice, and I later found out it was b/c she had been dumped earlier that day. The calls were enough to make me start thinking about her again, and I flipped a coin whether to give her another chance. Once I did this, the results said to give her one last chance. I unblocked her on Facebook, and asked her how things were going. The only answer I would ever get would be "fine", "alright", or "decent". Apparently, because I was the one who ignored her, I had betrayed HER trust. Over the past week I have come to the conclusion that this person who I am talking to is not the wonderfully beautiful, smart, and caring young woman i fell in love with, but a shadow of her former self, and she has become more distant and uncaring. This revelation has caused me to make a decision that has brought us to the current situation. Two days ago I told her if she wanted me in her life, she needed to prove it and prove things would be different within one week, or else I would be gone forever. This notice is a very serious declaration, but I don't believe she realizes how severe it is...As each day passes, I always hope for "1 unread message" but it never comes...and each time I become slightly more depressed as my hope dims...
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