Or how to take a look at life from a different perspective.
|The floor under my feet was freezing and anywhere I looked around, I only saw tall, smooth, bright and cold surfaces. I was crouching in a corner, my back against the wall.
How long had I been staring ahead of me without a plan? Of course, I had run to the door to open it, but no matter how much I tried, it remained closed.
I had no notion of time. And I was hungry. Damn was I hungry…
So I was fancying my life in these polished walls as I suddenly felt the urge to pee. Jeez! My pupils turned to big black holes, my little brain revolving chaotically inside my skull. I dashed around to look for a dark corner, but that superior light was so intense that I lost my nerves on the way, right in the middle of that wonderfully clean and polished floor.
Oh oh, I thought to myself. I looked in dismay at the little brown cylindrical cocoon that had protruded out of my body, two others following unwillingly. Oh oh.
In my nervousness I forgot myself, but it made no real difference by now.
I tripped aside, and glanced at the nice yellowish puddle that slowly meandered down the slope. No way I could stop it, so I ran and hid somewhere else. Still the cruel light kept me aware of that disastrous situation.
I began to feel bored. There was nothing to do. Apart from that soft and sponge-like substance right before my nose, I had nothing to chew. Puah! It tasted horrible. But it kept me occupied for a certain time.
I waited, and waited. The light was bright, my buttocks cold, and my patience thin. Finally, worrying bringing me no further, I fell into a dreamless slumber.
A familiar earthquake-like vibration woke me up. All my senses tingled at once. Denise was back!
She would come and rescue me!
She would punish me.
But she would bring me back home!
But she would punish me.
But I was her… friend!
She would still punish me.
I listened to Denise going into her room, eavesdropping on each of her movements. She was obviously looking for me. She shouted. She… cried?
And that was the moment I decided to change the course of my destiny. I could change the odds, and trick fate.
I screamed and squeaked, drummed on the polished floor with my little furry paws, I yelled, I bellowed, in such high-pitched tones that I almost deafened myself. I was close to voice extinction as the door suddenly slapped open.
Denise was standing in the frame, looking from her gigantic stature down at me. Her face was so pale; I swear I saw tears run down her cheeks. She was in pain… because of me! Maybe she had thought I starved to death?
She bent down with her massive body, and lifted me up in the air. Her washed forest green stare pierced my black innocent button eyes. I knew how to draw a smile on her face, and mumbled something in my whiskers that sounded like: “Sorry you had to worry about me…”
Immediately her eyes lit up like divine sunrays through dusty clouds and my Denise laughed again. She placed me tenderly on her chest and gently stroked my back, murmuring words of consolation.
We went back in her room. From the balcony of her arms, I saw my cage. Ah yes, I had forgotten. My punishment.
I reentered my home, sweet home. Through the grid I observed Denise run away and meet her mother downstairs. I heard the water cascade, the heavy earthquake shaking of Mama’s steps that left no doubt she was fulminating, having found my little presents on the floor by now. And perhaps also...
"Oh no! He's destroyed my flip-flops too!" I heard Mama shout.
My little ears dropped sadly. This time I was good for the pan. I saw poor Denise come through the door of her sleeping room, and sighed.
End of my life.
And then: a miracle! She opened the gate and placed me down on the carpet. I was given a big leaf of a succulent and juicy salad! God it tasted so sweet, so gorgeous! What was she up to now? She went to the food cupboard and… I must be dreaming! She really held out a carrot drop! I squeaked with joy, this being the happiest day of my life.
“Next time, check that your guinea pig is in before you close the door of the cage, Denise!”
“But I had closed the door, Mum. Believe me!”
Mama smiled cunningly, striking the hair of her daughter. “What do you mean? Teddy is just a simple-minded guinea pig. It’s impossible to escape that box... when it's closed!”
“But Mum… why won’t you believe me?”
Mama sighed, and turned on her heels. “Enough for today, end of the discussion. Wash your hands and come down for dinner.”
Denise looked at me and put me back in my cage, half my carrot drop in one paw, and the rest of the salad next to me. She took care to close the gate properly, and went out of her room.
I squinted at the door; Mama suspected something. I rubbed my buttocks, sore from the fall. That was a point I needed to improve: feed more to expand my rear cushion. For a softer landing, of course.
Yes, I might be simple-minded. But hunger-driven, greedy, and therefore… ingenious.
Trapped in the bathroom: an accident?