Do we give what others expects from us or we try to fulfill our expectations from other?
|Ram and Shyam are the two persons struggling to be perfect like all of us. On the one hand Ram is sometimes happy and some other time sad while on the other hand Shyam is always happy. Conspicuously there must be some reason behind this.
Let me elucidate the expectational thinking of Ram and Shyam.
Ram on meeting the other person thinks- "What do I expect from the other person?, Up to what level do I get it fulfilled?". Shyam on the other hand thinks- "What is the other person expecting from me?, Up to what level did I managed to fulfill it?
Ram works on the tricks to achieve his expectations from the other person. While, Shyam thinks of the ways he can fulfill other expectations. Ram feel depressed when he fails to fulfill his expectations while Shyam feels much happier that at least he tried to give what the other person is expecting from him.
All of us are either Ram or Shyam.
What I mean to say is we should always try to analyze what the other person is expecting from us and try to fulfill his expectations. Then the question is "what about our expectations?". What I believe is we should not expect anything from others. It really hurts when we don't get our expectations fulfilled. But even if anyone expects than it can only be fulfilled once the other persons expectation is fulfilled from you.
The other question is "Do we keep on doing what others are expecting from us?". The answer is Yes. Actually we do follow Shyam's principle in our daily activities. Let me give an example, when we don't have work in our office we usually indulge in chatting, orkutting or writing blogs like me but as soon as our boss comes to our table we simply double click on the working file and sit. Its well and fine and there is nothing wrong in that, because we are giving the person what he is expecting from us.Our Boss is expecting us to work and we show him that we are working. Even children when they see their tutors coming they simply run to their house pull their bag out and sit with a bunch of books. Actually they are giving what tutors are expecting from them. The point I want to make out is we change to Shyam as per our benefit but on regular basis we are Ram.
This is true for all the psychological principles, they are followed but only when the benefits are seen instantly. But following these principles on regular basis will surely give us long term benefits.
So, always try to be Shyam in your life.