by Kyle Curcio
Suffering from obscurity? There is help...
"...I mean, whose afraid of a goddamned mummy anymore?" The Mummy twirled a soiled bandage with his finger as he spoke. "It's like, 'Eeeewww, the curse of the Mummy', who gives a shit?"
"We do," Boogeyman quickly interjected. As the group leader he felt obligated to stress the fact that everyone at Mon-Anon shared the humiliation of being passe'.
"At least you were scary once." It was Grover, his blue hair touched with more than a fair share of gray. "I'm a monster, and I'm not even scary. I'll always just be remembered for learning to tie my own shoes and clumsily flying around as Super Grover. How humiliating."
"You were young. You needed the work," Boogey man offered. "Your contribution to human/monster relations is unparalleled."
Grover stood. "Ever heard of Mike Waszowski? James P. Sullivan, aka Sully? Monsters, Inc.! How about Grimace?!"
He took a few rapid steps toward Boogeyman.
"Near." He then ran to the far corner of the room.
"FAR!" He called back.
Running back again, he stopped just short of his host.
"Near." And then he ran again to the back corner of the room, shouting back.
"FAR! What the hell kind of legacy is that? I wasn't even in any of the Muppet movies!"
"You were everybody's favorite," countered Boogeyman.
Grover ran again across the room and put his face right in Boogeyman's.
"I was. I was everybody's favorite. Ever heard of Elmo? That son-of-a-bitch took cute to a whole new level! From then on it was 'goodbye, Grover'!"
Boogeyman put his hand on the muppet's shoulder. "Grover, we've talked about this. Everybody here has a story to tell. We all share your pain." He motioned toward all of the others seated in a circle around the room. All were waiting patiently for their turn to speak.
Big Bad Wolf was there. He had been the go-to villian back in the day, starring in such classics as "Red Riding Hood", "The Three Little Pigs", and "Peter and the Wolf". Now he had been relegated to a few cameos in the Shrek movies. How far he'd fallen. What next? Infomercials? Maybe a reality show if he was lucky.
Godzilla stood in a corner, poor thing. He used to devastate cities, fight exotic enemies, hold entire armies at bay. Now he struggled to hear what was being said some thirty feet below him. Mon-Anon meetings had been relocated to local gymnasiums after hours to accomodate his (and King Kong's) size, but let's face it, fifty years of explosions and his own bellowing had taken a toll. That and his peanut allergy had gotten worse.
Minotaur, Kraken, all of the Sleestacks, and Troll all sat, hands folded in their laps. Creature from the Black Lagoon and Medusa shifted uncomfortably at the tension in the room.
"Grover, we're all here for you." Boogeyman's voice was soothing and calm. "Give it time. We're all here to heal..."
If you, or some monster you know suffers from obscurity, please contact Monsters, Anonymous. You are not alone. Help is just a phone call away.