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Rated: E · Other · Comedy · #1725603
Flatulence in Japan
Yookoso!
Days ago a friend said, "a hate that our Japanese co-workers fart everywhere, And I should report them to the Quality Control department." But, my friend lacks understanding that flatulence maybe just expelling of human fumes, but it has played a significant role in human evolution. And now some want to alter that ?

I think everybody agrees that we hide our flatulences as much as possible. But while some let it go quietly, some loudly, and some roaringly; flatulence can be embarrassing for we, adults, will not accept it as a natural de-gasification of the body. Even if sometimes its smell produces erupts, we must accept the importance of flatulence, stop giving it a marginal role, and protected it as a natural resource.
>>
Fartenon, the top gladiator in Roma visits the barrack doctor about an embarrassing flatulence. Fartenon tells the doctor he farts in the most inappropriate places -in the ring, in his cell, while fighting the Lions. And it happens inadvertently, and is unmanageable.
DOCTOR: “Ok, I am going to used the most modern technique available, stick my finger on your anus and feel around to find what may cause the problem.”
FARTENON: “Thank you doctor, but can you stick two fingers.”
DOCTOR: “Why is that?” Doctor asks.
FARTENON: “Because I would like a second opinion.”
>>
Cultural ancestors such as the Greeks knew also the relevance of flatus. The great Athenian play writer, Aristophanes, writes humorously about flatulences. At the beginning of his popular play Frogs (405, BC) Dionysus, the god of wine and song, leads his servant, Xanthias, who carries the luggage and a pole over his shoulders.
XANTHIAS: What can I tell the audience? You mean something funny, sir?
DIONYSUS: By all means. But be careful not to shift your pole around and...
XANTHIAS: What sir?
DIONYSUS: And vow that you want to ease yourself.
XANTHIAS: May I not say I'm overburdened so that if none ease me, I must ease myself?
DIONYSUS: For mercy's sake, not till I need to vomit.

Why contemporary men and women alike appear so powerless to accept flatulence as a physiological need? Is it because others won’t let freely their flatus out? Is it because we can’t agree a common flatus manners? But you know, some times it will blow at the worse possible moment.
From teens to University teachers, from presidents to car washers, from wives to husbands, from cats to dogs, and mice, and elephants, and birds, and cheetahs, and giraffes, and mickey mouse, and every animal we can think about flatulence is latent.
>>
An elderly couple attends church services, and halfway through, he leans over and whispers to her:
"I just had a silent fart, what should I do?"
She leans over to him and says:
"Change the batteries of your hearing aid..."
>>
Friends ask me often, how is it in Japan -a country that eats raw fish and fermented beans, and where many dishes have potential for creating intestinal gases?
“Well, at least robots do not fart,” I answer.
Japanese consider flatulence a soft deviation from good manners. It is an activity, flatus, not perform everywhere; but walk into a public toilet, or take a bath at a public natural water hot tube (called Onzen), and you may hear the pooh, pah, roooo, roar, or taste the stinky gasses. Or, if luck is on your side, you may see, at the Onzen, bubbles plop out of the water and release their smelly load. Japanese don't give a Pokemon who is around.
In any event, flatulence is on the verge to become an illegal activity. Why? Because its potential to pollute the environment. So my suggestion to you is to do it as much as possible, enjoy it while you can, and while it is free; at this pace the environmentalists will win the battle and declare human gasses weapons of mass destruction. Or worse, force us to trade our flatulences on the stocks market.
© Copyright 2010 jr herbert (tegaki at Writing.Com). All rights reserved.
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