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Rated: E · Review · Personal · #1726810
A Review Reprive
In a moment in time I ceased to believe in myself.
Instead I gave it all up to happenstance and twisted desires.
I once thought all I desired was to be free of ridicule and turmoil.
Only to embrace the never ending nightmare of circumstance and denial.
The bitter embrace but a refuge none would embrace wholeheartedly.
At one time it was all I seemed to desire yet in the end it became my own worst nightmare.
I thought that in using such a antidote that I could better express my own desires in retrospect.
Instead it was but a feeble attempt on my part for it instead leant not to my inner glory but to my utter downfall.
The sole desire to be free of such inner strife a bittersweet reminder of what I once embraced lovingly.
My inner belief in myself and all that it entailed a steadfast renown.
For I sought solace yet instead found turmoil and strife only comprehended by a few.
I then strived to comprehend such twisted desires and yet became privy to utter chaos in doing so.
For it seems one cannot fully express their feelings and desires without giving up part of themselves.
This part by far is bittersweet for in its wake comes one’s self worth and overall outlook for better or worse.
What I once thought was for the better became with addiction the noose about my neck that dragged me down in subterfuge.
I duly give up part of myself if it can aide another in their struggle to survive and exist.
For without survival instincts no one can truly embrace the dual antidote of goodwill and self awareness.
A tale perhaps that some cannot comprehend and likewise others coddle as a child in gratitude.
My own tale of strife and redemption.
A prelude one must consider of the above statements, though truthful and precise.
For I am stuck in between denial and abhorrence over the misdeeds and my past misdeeds.
For to foresee such is happenstance yet to live within its utter misfortune but part of one’s tale.
A follower and a fool is one in the same when addiction sets out to rule.
© Copyright 2010 Gwenhwyfar Llywelyn (destinyzchylde at Writing.Com). All rights reserved.
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